SamRo's Mother Tells Us Something We Already Knew
"Lindsay Lohan is psychotic" replaced "water is wet" as the #1 DUH statement of our time and Samantha Ronson's British socialite of a mother Ann Dexter-Jones wanted to remind us all of this.
The sloppy mash-up of Sarah Jessica Parker and Janice the Muppet tells The Daily Mail all about the night that she finally realized that LiLo and SamRo were about as good for each other as masturbating with a circumcised tree branch is for your coochie. Ann says that the year was 2008 and they were all at the opening of The Atlantis in Dubai when she shook her head as LiLo banged her fists on a thick carpet and no that isn't a euphemism for pussy bumpin'. Ann watched LiLo throw a toddler-style tantrum on the floor and the next day she let her daughter and that crazy crackie bitch know that she wasn't going to bless their lezzie version of Sid & Nancy anymore and her house was now a Lohan-free zone.
"Suddenly, without any warning, Lindsay flung herself on to the thick carpet and started to roll around screaming like a child. It seemed she was upset that people, including Samantha, were not paying her enough attention. To my mind, it was classic psychotic behavior. I took Lindsay aside and told her not to make a spectacle of herself. She was clearly out of control and spoiling for a fight.
I know stuff, but I don’t want to go into it. I just knew that it was not a good place for my child to be, but sometimes a parent’s objection only makes it more exciting. When I saw for myself just how volatile Lohan was, I realised that the relationship was not healthy. The morning after her tantrum – and believe me, that was not the worst of it – I told them both that I could no longer support them as a couple, that I no longer approved of them being together and that Lindsay was no longer welcome in my home."
This finally explains that picture. Ann Dexter-Jones isn't screaming, because she's so excited that someone is actually taking her picture. Ann Dexter-Jones is screaming, because just standing next to LiLo is painful and she wants to butt fuck her with that pack of Reds. Ann banishing a Lohan from her life was a good move for her family, just like bringing up her daughter's old relationship to sell her stupid jewelry collection is a good move for her family.
This is the perfect time to remember the good old days when LiLo was giving us the low-budget version of Sharon Stone in Casino:
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The only reason anyone thinks Lindsay looks good in that picture is because they know what she looks like NOW and the eye has made a comparison based on that. Like when people cry about Heidi Montag ruining her looks with cosmetic surgery... even though they were all calling her ugly before she had the surgery.
Her face looked skinnier back then but she still looks like she reeks of BO, bad coke breath and orange self tanner.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
It's interesting that so many people think she looks good here. To me she looks tweeked out. If she was still that thin, she would look to be pushing 55. She hasn't looked good since Mean Girls. That was her look, it fell apart when she started fucking with her hair color.
Even if Lindsay is diagnosed and taking proper medication for whatever her affliction, rampant alcohol abuse (or mere regular drinking) will render the meds ineffective or, depending on the drugs, make things worse.
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 3:05am.
hohan probably banged the dentist for the teeth work. thats all she does these days, bang rich guys for money.
Let's talk about the real victim here: Drunk Girl In Shorts. I KNOW that I can't be the only one who has fallen victim to "drunk ass drama friend". You go out with friend. You get drunk, they get drunk blasé blasé . Next thing you know, they're in some relationship drama and you're just there drunk, wishing you were eating waffles or making out with a stranger. You try to escape, but you can't turn off the overhead light so you have to go back to to the drama and pray there's a spare bedroom or balcony you can pass out in. Story of my LIFE.
Submitted by blueangel on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 11:26pm.
This pic was taken during the time when she was heavily using coke but IMO she looks really good. Since then, her partying caught up with her and destroyed her looks and everything else.
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You left out the unwarranted plastic surgery. Look at pics of her back when she was in Freaky Friday/Herbie, and by the point in the photo with SamRo and horseyface, she's barely recognizable in comparison, since she'd already had work done, and no, I don't think it was just "growing up". And she's always getting her lips plumped out so grossly.
Blo and WO definitely read the blogs. After the pictures of her fucked up teeth appeared, she got new veneers or dentures or whatever, but I don't think she would have done it if there wasn't so much publicity over it - and IIRC, some dentist "donated" his services. Then, after she appeared in court with all the deep lines and bags, suddenly she got the puffy face, which took care of the deep lines in her forehead, but well, she looks shitty.
Lilo does look very good--one forgets. I think that is actually Carrie Bradshaw's mother. No idea Sam is that short--always thought she was probably 5-10 or so.
Submitted by Daniee on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 9:10pm.
CodeRed, you're right. I'm of slight build, over 31 and I actually look much more attractive in the face with 7/8 extra pounds on me. Thing is, we have never seen Blohan "naturally" anything. She was far too thin from drugs, appetite suppressants and forgetting to eat and now her kidneys are probably so fucked, she is swollen up.
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lol @Blohan being "naturally" anything (but a twat)
YES BUT
who would win in a tag team match between
SAMRO + MOM
VS
LILO + WHITE DOPE-RAH
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 11:24pm.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 11:19pm.
Hahahahaha! If you are making Lindsay Lohan look classy in comparison, you know you're doing something wrong.
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exactly! shame on sam-ro's slag mother, they hand out "socialites" titles too readily these days.
in my day, in order to be a "socialite", one could be a mega slut and fuck anything with a dick and a pulse, HOWEVER! one must take tea in the afternooooon daily, with cucumber sandwiches, finger cut egg rolls, mini lemon merinques and strawberry glazed tarte-tatins!
one cannot be a slag and show it! such as turning up to events dressed younger and sluttier than one's youngest daughter, flash one's bra strap, whilst masking one's breath of cock and cum with wrigley's chewing gum.
Submitted by LargeMarge on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 12:16am.
You just brought a whole new level of ick to that relationship.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Oh yeah, I nearly forgot she used to munch carpet.
Does anyone else think Linds looks like a younger version of Sams mom?
If she's gonna air sh*t how about admitting her children are some of the biggest dealers around..
This pic was taken during the time when she was heavily using coke but IMO she looks really good. Since then, her partying caught up with her and destroyed her looks and everything else.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 11:19pm.
Hahahahaha! If you are making Lindsay Lohan look classy in comparison, you know you're doing something wrong.
sam-ro's mother is a slag, look at that chewing gum on the top left corner of her mouth.
i mean fuck sake bitch, you are at a premiere, getting your photo taken, swallow the gum or spit it out, dont smile with your fly catcher mouth open wide and gum sticking out.
there is only 1 reason why she is munching on that gum and that is, she just sucked some dick, got cock and cum breath.
but i guess that is a considerate thing to do, chew some spearmint gum, before posing with your fish loving daughter and her bat shit crazy girlfriend.
i mean nobody wants to smell second hand cock and cum smoke.
thats worse than smoking, second hand cock breath is like vinegar, chlorine and urea foot cream mixed together.
i once smelt it from somebody who had just been giving somebody else a beejay, i nearly fell off my chair, i had to raise my eye brows, flair my nostrils, put both my hands on my side, grasp on the cushion, and tilt back and politely said "honey you got dick breath".
How did I never see this piece of cinematic gold?? I love when celebs have public meltdowns and fights. Is that wrong of me?
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by bambam on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 3:27pm.
cosign on that southern discipline. My mom/grandma would hand down one of those hit you so hard you silent scream and it takes a good 15 seconds before any scream/breath comes out.
The relationship ended up being toxic for both women, but Blohan has gone down hill since they broke up.
CodeRed, you're right. I'm of slight build, over 31 and I actually look much more attractive in the face with 7/8 extra pounds on me. Thing is, we have never seen Blohan "naturally" anything. She was far too thin from drugs, appetite suppressants and forgetting to eat and now her kidneys are probably so fucked, she is swollen up.
it also depends on the person and where they're prone to gain and lose weight in a few cases, such as Christina Hendricks. She curvier than most but has a nice facial bone structure still. Personally, if I gain or lose just 5 lbs it will show on my face. There's Kardashian too but not so for her sisters.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 7:59pm.
IKR? I pictured her like Sam/Mark in a skirt, not Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger, lol And is Lohan on stilts, how is she that much taller than them?
Klinger! LMAO!! I pictured her to look like Margot Tenenbaum.
I think part of the difference in height is optical illusion because of the camera angle and very high heels on Lindsay. I googled other pictures from this event and she has 4-5" platform heels on.
In this picture it looks like if they were both in flats that they would be close to the same height.
http://tn.sawfnews.com/newsphotos/Hollywood/LindsayLohanSamanthaRonsonAt...
she was very skinny. Those features come out on anyyone who loses weight and is skinny. your features and angles are more accentuated, the cheekbones and bone structure show better. she also is medium boned, so it will show sooner than on an already naturally small boned person.
I do not think she lost weight by just fasting and exercising though. I don't think she ever exercised a day in her life. It was rather pills and coke and/or other drugs.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Wow, samro must be a tiny little shit--did she need a stepladder to use the magic wand? Lilo's not all that tall, and she's wearing heels, but still. And I agree, the mom isn't what I expected either--but then what would one expect samro's mom to look like?
Well, as I get older, I just don't have the patience to watch drunks act like dolts. Still, it must be a drag (pun?) to come home to a drunken girlfriend, a stranger in your house, and guys with cameras right outside.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 7:20pm.
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IKR? I pictured her like Sam/Mark in a skirt, not Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger, lol And is Lohan on stilts, how is she that much taller than them?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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way to get publicity to hawk your made in china jewelry. well done socialite lady.
we all know lindsay is bat shit cray cray.
Hey Ann! The Wicked Witch of the West called. She wants her nose back.
@princesspoppy - you are right. Blohan is only sporting one chin here, and she's not bloated like now, but she looked drugged-out, unhealthy skinny back then.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Um...what on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 6:46pm.
Very thin but a reminder of how truly beautiful Lindsay used to be. Great bone structure and features.
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I agree with what everyone is saying about how she used to look good in this pic --- but we've forgotten that even at this point, she was being snarked on for being anorexic and not her cute young freckled self anymore.
I don't know if it's the lighting doing her great favors but Lilo looked good on this pic. Less puffy/bloated. what a mess she's become in a few short years.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
That is so not what I pictured SamRo's mom to look like.
To let yourself be filmed whilst at the height of a relationship break down would be the ultimate humiliation for anyone, unless they wanted it for evidence.....what a tragic mess. But so bloody minded as to not even care how pathetic you looked begging and crying at someones door who does not give a shit about you anymore. (Glad Ive never done that.....more than once or twice).
Psychotic? No. Psychopathic? Yes.
Either way, good call, Dee Snyder....Preach it to a Lohan...
We're not gonna take it / No, we ain't gonna take it / We're not gonna take it anymore / We've got the right to choose and / There ain't no way we'll lose it
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Very thin but a reminder of how truly beautiful Lindsay used to be. Great bone structure and features.
I thought it was an open secret that Lohan is bipolar. She takes one of the same meds as my brother.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Nancy Spungeon was my mom, but don't make a big deal out of it, please.
I thought SamRo's mom was a bad picture of Rosario Flores. My apologies to the great Rosario.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DXXE5Nq19Fc/TV88HvYyfSI/AAAAAAAADYY/J_nDwC0I1-...
My sister has Borderline Personality Disorder and Lindsay's behavior sounds like it's in line with it. My sister was insanely jealous whenever the attention was on anyone else and she threw tantrums well in her 20s.
"Lezzie version of Sid and Nancy", heh. Nancy Spungen's mother actually wrote a tell-all book called "And I Don't Want To Live This Life" which is a fantastic book about the toll mental illness takes on a family. It's one of those rare tell-alls which is insightful rather than sleazy and I recommend it to anyone with an out-of-control family member (although it's very dated in terms of treatment, since it was written in 1983).
Lindsay looks much nicer in that picture but she probably looks at it now and thinks she's fat and ugly.
The video is probably taken at 4Am or close...nothing more than drunken crackhead talk really. If Samro was DJing this is what time she would get off work. I do like the fact that she kicked the other nameless sideho off her property though...I guess Lindsay had wanted a threeway maybe.
Yes she used to be much prettier then compared to what she looks like now. Shame.
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
How sad that Lohan has changed for the worse and Sam looks almost the same. And what a useless video!
"good for each other as masturbating with a circumcised tree branch is for your coochie." -- lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Lindsay's head to body ration 3:1. It looks crazy!
36 Chambers (The Wu)
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The only news here is: how much prettier Lindsay used to be.
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Submitted by Daniee on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 5:41pm
She finally divorced his ass and has found a really nice guy. Psycho husband was, get this, the church secretary. He had everyone fooled. He came across as a nice guy, but he was far from it. He intentionally picked her because she was at her weakest. She had just suffered a tragedy and was very vulnerable. He was a classic case. He really screwed with her head, though.
Submitted by misslainey on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 5:30pm.
...One night, I guess some sort of insanity took over me 'cause I brought some cloth belt.
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Fucking lol!
Holy Fuck, misslainey .. I hope she has gotten out of that terrible situation, how awful! Sounds like atypical BPD however, if it is.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 5:35pm.
I kinda thought Lindsay was at her most interesting when she was with SamRo.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Interesting? Negative. Entertaining? Absolutely.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Daniee on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 3:08pm.
Yep, that is exactly what I would say. I heard a psychologist say that BPD can be much worse than schizophrenia because those with BPD have no feelings of empathy for others. It's like they have no moral compass. One of my best friends was married to someone like that. He tried to kill her on several occasions. But not outright murder: he tried to make things look like an accident. Poison, trying to make her fall downstairs. He was one crazy mofo.
I kinda thought Lindsay was at her most interesting when she was with SamRo.
Submitted by bambam on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 3:27pm.
Bam, that was my mother to a 'T'. She would tell us she'd give us something to cry about. She would make us get 'the belt'--a particular leather belt of my father's. One night, I guess some sort of insanity took over me 'cause I brought some cloth belt. It did not bode well. My mother would tell you she didn't play. Her favorite saying was, 'If you play with a puppy, he'll lick your face' meaning that if you allow your kids to be on the same level as you, one day they will kick your ass, and she was not having that. She loves fiercely, but she does NOT play, lol.
What the hell did I just watch? What was the point of that???
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org