If you stare at Jill E. Beans‘ “fuck my life right in the ass” face and then walk away from this post, you will have seen everything you need to see from Mimi’s romantic Valentine’s Night.
Besides Hallmark and some pre-school teachers, nobody loves holidays harder than Mimi does and Valentine’s Day is no exception. Mimi shared pictures from her VD night with all her Twitter followers and that shit is almost as ridiculous as her episode of Cribs. Mimi started off by tweeting a picture of her and Nick Cannon kissing in front of the Empire State Building, and I’m sure it took 30 takes, 7 kissing choreographers and 4 lighting designers to get that picture right. It almost looks like they’re trying to pass a giant Cheerio to each other with their mouths.
Then Mimi slipped into a bath full of Hello Kitty bubbles and luxuriated for hours. I like how the camera captured the exact moment when she was able to push a butterfly burp (aka a fart) out of her butt. I’m totally disappointed that she wasn’t wearing a towel in the tub. Then Mimi and Nick broke into Central Park and got a carriage ride from a horse who was probably wondering why one of his relatives’ tails was stuck on top of Mimi’s head. Mimi stopped sharing right there, because the pictures of Nick Cannon jacking himself off while sitting on a unicorn horn dildo as she sings her greatest hits in the corner are sacred to her.
And there’s not many things that are more romantic than making your assistant take pictures of you and your husband on a date so they can post them on Twitter.