Kris Humphries’ Divorce Lawyer Is Divorcing His Ass

Kris Humphries publicity stunt marriage to Kim Kardashian ended over a year ago, but they’ve been dragging their divorce ever since, because he wants an annulment due to fraud. Kim refuses to give him one, because she made an oath to Lucifer to never reveal the STUNT QUEEN secrets of the Illuminati.

The overgrown Cha-Ka refuses to give Kim a divorce and she refuses to give him an annulment and apparently his lawyer is siding with Team KKK. TMZ says that Kris’ lawyer Marshall Waller filed papers in court yesterday asking to be removed from the case, because he’s sick of dealing with a neanderthal-faced dumbass with dino shit for brains.

A source tells TMZ that Marshall Waller has been trying for months to get Kris to drop the annulment, because there’s nothing that proves that Kim tricked his ass into marrying her. Marshall tried to talk Kris  into moving on, but every time he’d say something, Kris would stare off into space, drool and then start pawing at a pen on Marshall’s desk. So Marshall is done with Kris. Kris has another lawyer, Lee Hutton, but Lee doesn’t have a license to practice in California so he has to find a lawyer to sponsor him before he can start representing the real-life Encino Man in the divorce case.

So Marshall Waller thinks that there’s no way to prove that Kim and Pimp Mama Kris committed fraud against Kris? They’re Kardashians! That’s the only evidence he needs. But we all know what really happened here. Either Pimp Mama Kris shook her cleavage full of cash at Marshall Waller or Khloe Kardashians threatened to skin him alive with her teeth and use his skin to make Bruce Jenner’s next face.

Here’s Kim making retinas rip while leaving the gym in leggings yesterday afternoon.