A Thank You To Whoever Is Dressing Kim Kardashian

If I could, I would give a heart-shaped box of chocolate* to Kanye Kardashian, or who ever is dressing this ho stroll heffa, because they somehow find a way to make her look fuglier and more ridiculous than the last time they dressed her. They are giving us a priceless gift. Kim Kardashian went to the opening of the first Topshop store in L.A. last night and showed all of us what she looks like when she goes a week without getting a Brazilian wax.

There are many ways to cover a growing fetus dome, but the worst way is to cover it with what looks like a wet dog. This tarred and feathered mess is a disaster. If you glued two horns to her body and put Hush Puppy in front of her, she'd look like one of the Beasts of the Southern Wild. Somebody please call the EPA, because bitch looks like an oil spill and several kinds of creatures are trapped in there.

But again, thank you to the bitch who is responsible for making Kim look a mess. They are doing God's work.

* If you're Kim's stylist and want to collect your heart-shaped box of chocolate, can you wait until tomorrow? All heart-shaped boxes of chocolate will be 75% off at CVS then.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:30pm.

Submitted by Event Horizon on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:22pm.
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Hey now......there's nothing wrong with slutacious behavior.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Not a damn thing wrong with it. But I must say that you do not strike me as the peed upon type. Pee-er - yes. Pee-ee - never.

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:30pm.

Gross!

Submitted by Bossy on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:30pm.

She uses a full container of mascara and 3 packs of fake eyelashes per event, right?

Submitted by bitchSpray on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:28pm.

kim is giving us SLUTTY OSTRICH REALNESS

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:28pm.

What is with her and Kanye and the leather pants??? Wonder if they share.

Blech. They must stink like nothing else.

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by Detective_LaToya on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:28pm.

Someone need to buy this vapid heffa a full length mirror and some glasses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K

Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:27pm.

HAHAHAHAHOLYHAHAHA! I mean I know that black is slimming and all...but not this time! Bitch doesn't even have much of a baby bump yet...it's like her baby is in her butt. LMAO!

<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:27pm.

Lucifer_Sam, is Dorthy Perkins a tacky polyester filled shop? I cant remember...is it like a third rate Monsoon? Because they sell their Kollection of Krap at Sears here and no one under 65 would shop there.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:27pm.

Luci - on behalf of these United States, we are deeply embarrassed by the pestilence (known as the Kardashians)that has contaminated the shores and retail agencies of the United Kingdom.

I hope your friend bathed in betadine following her exposure.

Submitted by BlueOrchid on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:24pm.

What a vacant beast.

Submitted by rvcon2 on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 11:55am.

U slay me MK!!! If both of us weren't looking for peen. I would marry u!!!

Submitted by c-est_moi on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:23pm.

Oh, and MK, try Big Lott's after V-day sale. 75% off their already slashed prices! Cheaper than CVS. I promise.

Submitted by Rocket on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:23pm.

The view of her back is the absolute best one.

Submitted by Event Horizon on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:22pm.

Submitted by Rocket on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:09pm.
Love the smug look on her face. Bitch - you are a pissed on slut!

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Hey now......there's nothing wrong with slutacious behavior. But letting yourself get peed on, well...I guess it would take a master level slut to reach those heights.....I'm still just at intermediate level and can only dream of reaching Kimmy K status one day....*sigh*

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j
"I'm doin ho activities, with ho energy. Ho's are my friends, ho's are my enemies."

Submitted by Um...what on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:21pm.

What pisses me off is that she probably think she looks good, pretty and "romantically feminine". Or, she is dressing in these god awful outfits just to get attention...

Submitted by c-est_moi on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:21pm.

"There are many ways to cover a growing fetus dome, but the worst way is to cover it with what looks like a dead, wet black dog."

Save this one for the "MK's greatest quotes" paperback edition. So perfectly Michael.

Submitted by RichBitch on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:21pm.

Parasite is pregnant too! We're all fucked.

Submitted by veryoldbat on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:20pm.

Desingers are refusing to Lend her cloths or dress her for any events. Going to Brazil.. And the Opening of a Top Shopp... Are not events. Isn't this Valentines Day? For why M.K? Don't you love us anymore? Do we really deserve seeing
KK dressed as a wet dog?

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Submitted by Joeb on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:19pm.

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa

Submitted by comfortably_numb on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:19pm.

Man she takes lookin' like shit to a whole new level. God-awful. Hideousness!!!!

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:18pm.

Her costumes amuse me...but that nose job and those lips give me gas.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:18pm.

It's like she's given up trying to look thin so she's settling for accentuating the mile wide.

**************************************
If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:16pm.

Flowey shirts like that on bitches with big tits (pregnant or not) don't work. They make you look fat or pregnant.

Submitted by WiseCue on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:21pm.

And . . .

∞
Trust No One
Question Everything

Submitted by dirty sancho on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:15pm.

These bitches must think that wearing black all the time makes them look classy. IT'S NOT WORKING.

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:14pm.

JUST MAKE IT GO AWAY!

I hate looking at her. She reminds me of the fucking bitch I used to work with at the restaurant who looked exactly like her with the same ME ME ME fucking attitude and the same personality.

CANNOT STAND!

Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:14pm.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:11pm.

Went into Dorothy Perkins at the start of the week and saw the Kardashian Kollection. My friend accidentally brushed against it :(
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's sold at Sears in the States. The only thing lower would be Walmart.

Submitted by mitchyul on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:13pm.

She looks like an pig disguised as an Ostrich

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:13pm.

she must have a funhouse mirror at her place. I mean how else can you explain her thinking it's ok to leave the house looking like a Big Bird's short dumpy armenian cousin.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:13pm.

they somehow find a way to make her look fuglier and more ridiculous than the last time they dressed her. They are giving us a priceless gift.

The priceless gift for me would be not seeing her at all. Ever.

The more poorly dressed she is the most her picture gets taken. I'd rather her picture wasn't getting taken at all.

Submitted by ethang on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:11pm.

Submitted by Darknight on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:01pm.

I love seeing this bitch looking like a hot steaming mess
_____________________________________________

This.

And to think she's paying someone to style her.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:11pm.

Submitted by CashewTime. on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:08pm.

She does this because she probably gets paid by designers, like Lohan did for years when arriving at the court rooms. It's great publicity for the fashion people and for her.

Cashew, she announced last week that the creative director for Mugler is her stylist for her pregnancy

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:11pm.

Went into Dorothy Perkins at the start of the week and saw the Kardashian Kollection. My friend accidentally brushed against it :(

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:10pm.

Submitted by ItsBritneyBitches on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:05pm.

That eye make up (that white stuff all over her eyes and nose area?) is even worse.

"highligher" ;-) they ALL pack on that shit in layers for pap photos and appearances. sometimes the pap's lens angle and the flash goes well, sometimes it ends up looking like this. sometimes, shockingly and unbelievably, excessive use of highlighter even makes a person's complexion look lighter than it really is

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:12pm.

Come on y'all! Kim couldn't decide whether to go with the feathery mess dress or the too tight, had to skin two cows leather pants. She's sooo fashion forward, she did both! And in that oh so unpredictable color, black!

This tanned, Armenian geisha wannabe also has uniboob. Her stylist must love her so!

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:09pm.

Put this on a taller, slimmer woman and lose the leather pants and it could be interesting. On Dumpy McSquattington here it's like the epitome of ALL WRONG. This is exactly what you DON'T wear when you want to downplay the fact that you are short, squatty, and pear-shaped.

Submitted by Rocket on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:09pm.

Love the smug look on her face. Bitch - you are a pissed on slut!

Submitted by Latex Jungle on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:09pm.

Lol at jelliebean--"no.not banana joe!" I knew she reminded of someone, lol!
Well, I'll bet the neighbors are just LOVIN' this!--Mama.

Submitted by CashewTime. on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:08pm.

She does this because she probably gets paid by designers, like Lohan did for years when arriving at the court rooms. It's great publicity for the fashion people and for her.

Submitted by Scuntfcuk on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:07pm.

I looked at this picture and my brain literally shut down. What the hell is going through her mind that makes her think this looks good? She looks like she killed an ostrich and made her...what the hell is it anyway? A skirt, dress? I'm confused. Oh and for the love of all that is holy stop messing with your damn face...you were pretty once upon a time!

Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:09pm.

Those pants are cutting the circulation off at her fat knees.

And is that poor assistant trying to urge her forward with one finger? Oh honey, both hands needed!

Submitted by Latex Jungle on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:06pm.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
Funniest pic of the week so far!!!!

Well, I'll bet the neighbors are just LOVIN' this!--Mama.

Submitted by ItsBritneyBitches on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:05pm.

That eye make up (that white stuff all over her eyes and nose area?) is even worse.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:03pm.

Mugler = fashion fuckery to the tenth power. oh we're going to have a great time here over the next 6 months. a wonderful time.

and jelliebean beat me to it, dammit ;-)

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by motherslittlehelper on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:03pm.

Kim! Wear synthetic feathers/fur/leather, it's not that hard.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:01pm.

Submitted by jelliebean on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 1:55pm.

Noooo, not Banana Joe!
===========================
;^D

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Submitted by LargeMarge on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:01pm.

Her face looks pretty? I can't see it underneath all the gobs of make-up, fake lashes, blimped out lips and sliced up nose.

I won't go into the atrocity of her outfit. It makes me heave.

Submitted by Darknight on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:01pm.

I love seeing this bitch looking like a hot steaming mess. Love all of it. And someone put up a link earlier today and it included pics of paris looking knocked up. Ermagerd ya'll, the apocalypse is near.

Submitted by Boo1212 on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:00pm.

She is gonna be so freakin' huge. I can't wait! And seriously, she can't even keep a cat. What makes her think she can handle a child that needs more attention than she does. She is gonna hate that kid so much! Poor child.

Go Verb Yourself!

Submitted by WiseCue on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:19pm.

She'll just pawn the spawn off on Khloe, and all will be well in the Kartrashian Kweendom!

∞
Trust No One
Question Everything