A Thank You To Whoever Is Dressing Kim Kardashian

February 14, 2013 / Posted by:

If I could, I would give a heart-shaped box of chocolate* to Kanye Kardashian, or who ever is dressing this ho stroll heffa, because they somehow find a way to make her look fuglier and more ridiculous than the last time they dressed her. They are giving us a priceless gift. Kim Kardashian went to the opening of the first Topshop store in L.A. last night and showed all of us what she looks like when she goes a week without getting a Brazilian wax.

There are many ways to cover a growing fetus dome, but the worst way is to cover it with what looks like a wet dog. This tarred and feathered mess is a disaster. If you glued two horns to her body and put Hush Puppy in front of her, she’d look like one of the Beasts of the Southern Wild. Somebody please call the EPA, because bitch looks like an oil spill and several kinds of creatures are trapped in there.

But again, thank you to the bitch who is responsible for making Kim look a mess. They are doing God’s work.

* If you’re Kim’s stylist and want to collect your heart-shaped box of chocolate, can you wait until tomorrow? All heart-shaped boxes of chocolate will be 75% off at CVS then. 

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