Ke$hit Drinks Her Own Pi$$

February 13, 2013 / Posted by:

Most of what comes out of Ke$ha’s mouth can be found inside of the busiest Port-A-Potty at the Gathering of the Juggalos, so it’s not surprising to hear what goes in her mouth.

Because Ke$hit and Beyonce are are practically the same person and artist, she also had a visual director (aka her younger brother) follow her around with a camera for the past two years. Ke$hit used that footage to make a documentary that should premiere on Consumption Junction or on public access at 3am on a Tuesday, but it’s showing on MTV this April instead. In Ke$hit’s documentary called My Crazy Beautiful Life, she golden showers herself and admits that people always tell her that she smells like the crusty spot on a homeless man’s panties. Ke$hit explained it all to BBC Radio 1 (via TNZH via ONTD):

On how she pulled a Bear Grylls: “I was told drinking my own pee was good, I was trying to be healthy … Somebody tried to take my pee away from me and I said, ‘That is mine!’ So I snatched it up and took a chug and it was really gross so I don’t do it anymore.”

On how she smells like dumpster syrup: “My fans are amazing to me but usually the people around me say, ‘You’re disgusting!’ or, ‘Put your pants on!’ or ‘You’re late!’ Or they say, ‘You smell weird, what’s that smell?’ I smell like a hobo. One time, someone told me I smelt like a shrimp on a diaper. I thought I could make a fragrance that was little like a shrimp on a Faberge diaper but I don’t know if people want to smell like that.”

On her obsession with glitter: “I have a bathtub; when I go on tour I bring a bathtub and I have a glitter roadie. His only job is to deal with the glitter and his job is to lather baby oil all over my body. Then I roll around in it and have to sit there until the baby oil dries. When I go to the bathroom you can follow the trail of glitter and tell which stall I peed in. I leave it all over the men I make out with.”

Ke$hit reminds me of this gross kid in the 2nd grade who would eat his mocos and cough loogies into his hand for attention. (No, the gross kid wasn’t me, but that’s a valid question). Yes, Ke$hit calling anything gross is some pot kettle shit, but this isn’t shocking at all. It would shock me more if Ke$hit said that she filled her mouth with Listerine. Of course she’s swallowed a shot of her own piss.

Ke$hit needs to come grosser, because Bear Grylls, Carrie from Strange Addiction, millions of hippies and Bam Margera did it first. Speaking of Bam, if you put a gutter water-drenched wig on top of his head, wouldn’t he look like Ke$hit a little? Has anyone seen them in the same room together? Has anyone ever seen them drink from the same urinal? Hmmm….

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