Open Post: Hosted By Micaela Schaefer

February 12, 2013 / Posted by:

Kate Upton, who? Sure Kate Upton’s nipples froze, turned black and nearly fell off during her bikini photo shoot in Antarctica, but I’d like to see her do this. Has Kate Upton ever posed in the middle of a square in Berlin wearing only black ribbon, red construction paper, discount tulle from the fabric store and half of a heart-shaped chocolate box (on her box)? Only the Courtney Stodden (with a drop of Phoebe Price) of Germany, Micaela Schaefer, can pull off a sophisticated and demure ensemble like this.

The shiniest human rhinestone in Germany (next to Harald Gloockler, of course) gave everyone in Berlin an early Valentine’s Day gift when she threw a fourth grade craft project on her body and posed for the paps in a square the other day. If a discount lingerie store put on a Victoria’s Secret-like fashion show in the parking lot of a shuttered down mini mall and only had a budget of $3, this is what would come stomping down the folding table catwalk during the finale of their show.

Micaela Schaefer looks like a cross between a broke down float in the saddest Mardi Gras parade ever and a depression era Victoria’s Secret model. In other words, this look is redefining the meaning of luxury.

Happy Early VD!

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