The Lesbeaver Says That The Drummer Of The Black Keys Needs To Get Slapped Down

After the Grammys on Sunday night, Patrick Carney, the Black Keys drummer, was coming out of a party and TMZ asked him what he thinks about Justin Bieber crying and whining about not getting one nomination. Patrick, who may or may not be the long-lost twin brother of Artie from Glee, said something like, "He's rich, right? Grammys are for, like, music, not for money ... and he's making a lot of money. He should be happy, I guess." Those are fighting words coming from a drummer who is underestimating the wrath of the Beliebers (smells like cold tit milk, expired banana yogurt and baby rage). Patrick better stay away from playgrounds, the ball pit at McDonald's, Chuck E. Cheeses and the Belieber Ward of every mental hospital, because as soon as the Beliebers learn how to walk, they're coming for him. Because their evil overlord has put out a slap hit on Patrick:

You know who really needs to be slapped around? Justin Bieber's junior douche ass. ("I'll do it! I'll do it!" - Usher) Justin needs to get his iPhone slapped out of his paw, because in almost every picture he posts of himself on Instagram, he looks like a bottom bitch who's trying to decide on if letting out a wet fart is going to totally kill the mood or re-lube his b-hole. That's my signature look.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by kylimayrow on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 2:19pm.

The Black Keys are fun, either way all these acts are making money, thankfully none of my money! Like someone else posted, the music industry has not made a dime off me in a very long time. I did go to a Dead Can Dane concert last year, one of the best live shows I have ever witnessed, no fancy outfits, bouncy tits or fancy light shows just Brendan Perry and Lisa Gerrard voice was enough. Dimwits like JB have no clue, I can not wait til the girls that follow him become ashamed of the fact they bought a track. It happens in every generation, and he will disappear until he makes his comeback when he is like 30 like NKOTB

Submitted by feets on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 6:17am.

What in the snotty heck is that little twirp whining about now? Go directly to the fridge (or rather get one of your staff to go there) and bring you back a bucket of ice cream and stuff your head in it. Go away now little person.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 11:44pm.

Biebs should pick on someone famous whose ass he could possibly kick--like Abigail Breslin.

Submitted by notreallyworking on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 11:26pm.

I have reached the conclusion I am old, stupid, set in my ways ala Archie Bunker and my opinion does not matter. Now where's my Bushmaster?

"Just look at all the fucks I give!"

Submitted by Parablesower on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 10:41pm.

I love "Lonely Boy," so I am hoping that this a one- off for the Black Keys. But Beiber, that bratty snot rag needs to be taken over someone's knee- and NOT in the good way!

Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 10:07pm.

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 9:39pm.
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Oh come on now, don't be disgust... wait a minute, is that invitation... on LezBeaver's part, or The Drummer's? lol

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Thats What He Said on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 9:42pm.

"Grammys are for, like, music, not for money"

Haha...this is the best part of the post. They are both delusional! At this point, you are more validated as an artist by not winning a Grammy.

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 9:39pm.

Its pretty clearly simply an invitation to engage in fetishistic sex.

Submitted by Saphris on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 9:02pm.

I doubt the drummer is envious. He's in a critically acclaimed band making some loot. I see nothing wrong with what he said. It's the truth.

Plus, the black keys started in Ohio.
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Lucifer_Sam: "Do you EVER post anything worthwhile on this site? Do you EVER have a point to make?" In case anyone else was wondering, the answer is "No."

Submitted by veryoldbat on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 9:01pm.

Tighten up your tiny Brain.. Beibs. Go home. Go home. LOL?

http://youtu.be/kI_oLpvQ5d4

# teamglasses
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 8:50pm.

Submitted by annobanano on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:03pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:56pm.

Also, that dork dude in the glasses probably has a big dong. He looks like the type.

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LOL, Hekki always gets to the meat of an issue

Hahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!!

Love the Black Keys (and their alleged giant dongs).

Submitted by MrsPotatoHead on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 8:36pm.

Shut the fucking fuckity fuck up, Bieber.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 8:16pm.

tiny beibs saw the drummer's glasses then flexed his walnut sized muscles thinkin' "i can take him!" and then squeaked a tweet till his arms became too fatigued.
i'm serious, beibs would not have said that if it were anybody else.
beibs is a serious pussy.

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 8:15pm.

Who are the 30K dumbasses who "retweeted" this gem of wisdom?

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A Lannister always pays his debts.

Submitted by JTROS on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 8:06pm.

The drummer looks like Squints from The Sandlot.

Submitted by Mani6 on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 8:01pm.

I'm shocked...shocked and appalled...no I'm shocked, appalled and angered. Justa Beeper should be happy that anyone still listens to anything he has to say...or uh...tweet.

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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 7:54pm.

Omg Hekki! He does look like a Proclaimer! Da da ra ta! da da ra ta! Now I have that 500 miles song in my head!

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=tbNlMtqrYS0&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dtb...

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 7:52pm.

This little whiney assed, lipstick lesbian looking prepube infantile douche needs to be bitch slapped all the way back to Canada and into his mother's womb so she can do the right thing and abort/miscarry. And no, I'm not gonna apoologize to anyone I offended. I will offer you first whiff of my steak burrito fart, though. Wait for it, Wait for it....Ahhhhhhhh...Uh-oh...WET FART ALERT! WET FART ALERT!

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Eggbeater on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 7:45pm.

Hell, Hekki & SoulTaker, I'm more embarrassed than either of you—with apologies to the Black Keys, I really did think it was Artie from "Glee" (whose name I also thought was "Arnie"...fuck me!).

Having gotten that off my chest, I'll totally volunteer to knock the Biebs on his hairless little ass. With a bat. It would be a pleasure.

Submitted by SoulTaker on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:49pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:43pm.

This is showing my age and dweebness, but I thought that was one of the Proclaimers. *hides*

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Hekki, don't hide - he makes me think of the Proclaimers, too..so you're not the only old dweeb around here. :)

Submitted by Womanoftheyear on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 7:39pm.

I couldn't be bothered by the Grammy clowns. Seriously, I caught the end of Honey Boo Boo opening her Christmas gift before heading down to the bar for a beer and chips and guacamole to watch some Bo Jackson doc.

As I left my mother's home, I caught her watching the E red carpet show and took a glimpse of Kat von D with Deadmouse and just shook my head. Black Keys are just as overrated as Justin Bieber in my opinion, but I guess they got their big break on Public Access Radio, so their hipster egos think it's okay to pick on radio Disney. Whatever. I'm still listening to the Pixies and Cocteau Twins from my 80-90s collections and if I need something fast to work out to, I put it my iheartradio on any random gay pride radio station. The music industry hasn't taken a penny of my hard earned money except for maybe the last live show I went to see Tori Amos in Dec. 2011, but at least the record company was like Deutsche Grammophone and I'm not sure what cut of her ticket sales they get if any. God save the Queen!

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 7:27pm.

Submitted by FabulousDivaBuns on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 6:28pm.
I'm sure this guy will be hiring more security to protect him from Justin Bieber.
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Lol no shit! The only injury Bieber would EVER get in a fight is maybe a sprained finger from dialing one of his security thugs.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 7:18pm.

Submitted by Faloola Chong on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:16pm.
Submitted by mike on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:02pm.
The Grammys are about music? If you take the Grammys that seriously then you're not much better than Bieber.
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IKR. And also bothering to go after the easiest target of all.
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To be fair he didn't go after Bieber per say he was just answering a question specifically about Bieber,

I heard both of these Black Keys guys interviewed on the CBC and they actually really came across as humble intelligent guys.

Submitted by CodeRed on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 7:10pm.

Ok, you're telling me to see them live.

I watched the video just now and it's not my style.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.

Submitted by CodeRed on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 6:57pm.

Submitted by girlfromipanema on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:19pm.
Submitted by CodeRed on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:40pm.
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Do yourself a favor and listen to them. Or better yet, see them live!

Submitted by me_ on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:53pm.
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BAHAHAHA! Are you a closet Bieber fan? No one envies Bieber except douche bags.

Both do what they love. One makes great music and gets recognized and paid very well to do so. The other is an entitled cry baby who rolls around in dope and money.
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why did my name come up in this? Am I me_? Do I have multiple accounts.

I think you's a little fucked, cuz annobanano said that reading back, about seeing the Black Keys live as a general comment.

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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.

Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 6:43pm.

Justin is such a spoiled asshole with no common sense or common decency.

Submitted by FabulousDivaBuns on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 6:28pm.

I'm sure this guy will be hiring more security to protect him from Justin Bieber. LOL That kid doesn't realize that it's pretty much over.

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 6:37pm.

Lesbeaver must have been so terribly hurt what this guy said!!!

It was be awesome right now to be Patrick Carney!

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by notreallyworking on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 6:14pm.

I guess I am getting old. Never heard their music nor do I care to. Last band I feel I "discovered" was The Hives. this bubblegum newage crap is forgettable and laughable, in my humblest of opinions.

"Just look at all the fucks I give!"

Submitted by tomahawk on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 5:55pm.

By 32 he should've learned when to shut up - you can't win against rageing teenagers, although some never outgrow this phase.

Submitted by Craigypants on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 5:49pm.

The little lesbeaver has no claim to a grammy, he ain't no artist, he's a product, like most of them. Thr grammy are just a joke now, Beyonce 16 grammys? get fucked, how could she have more than Wacko Jacko. She must have been sucking a lotta dick.

Submitted by CheeryBitch on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 5:48pm.

Submitted by me_ on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:53pm.
the drummer ?whoever? is more douche than the bieber... because HE has no money but envy.

obviously he also doesn't know the golden rule: celebs don't comment on other celebs, when asked stupid questions by paparazzi.
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And here's the difference;, an artist is driven my passion for his/her art, not money. Bieber isn't an artist, he's a pouty, bratty, douche.

Submitted by Uptown James on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 5:20pm.

There might be a drive-by shouting!

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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."

Submitted by bambam on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:46pm.

I totally agree with that news anchor's assessment on ABC overnight; "Beiber's gonna be a mess when he reaches puberty." lols

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ-QrCFMjs

Submitted by French Mofo on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:33pm.

Please 2012-DA14, take care of Justin. Please.

Submitted by BangoSkank on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:31pm.

Love the Black Keys.

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Submitted by Supertramp on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:24pm.

Justin needs a spanking & sent to his room without supper. What an insufferable little brat.

Submitted by veryoldbat on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:24pm.

I love Patrick... Have seen him live. He barely knows who BEIBERS is. ...The TMZ guy was force feeding him shade. Truth.. Beiber isn't on this guys radar. One is a musician.. Ones an shit stirring twat. That's all.

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

See Black Keys live for a Great Show!

Submitted by girlfromipanema on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:19pm.

Submitted by CodeRed on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:40pm.
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Do yourself a favor and listen to them. Or better yet, see them live!

Submitted by me_ on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:53pm.
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BAHAHAHA! Are you a closet Bieber fan? No one envies Bieber except douche bags.

Both do what they love. One makes great music and gets recognized and paid very well to do so. The other is an entitled cry baby who rolls around in dope and money.

Submitted by Faloola Chong on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:16pm.

Submitted by mike on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:02pm.
The Grammys are about music? If you take the Grammys that seriously then you're not much better than Bieber.
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IKR. And also bothering to go after the easiest target of all.

So the Grammys span several genres and the show features some good performances of talented people and collaborations with legends, but the actual shit they award is the biggest joke and the least credible of all award ceremonies, always the safest most commercial crap and does music the biggest disservice. Compared to the Shammys, at least the Oscars can claim to have *some* clue about what the best of the year was.

Submitted by chinlee3 on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:12pm.

Bieber, you ignore it and it still doesn't go the fuck away. He needs to go do something, open a savings account maybe.

Submitted by Glambert on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:07pm.

Beliebers are even more delusional and fucking annoying than Twihards are.

Submitted by Jess Sayin on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:06pm.

Justin needs to go seat his cry baby ass down.. Patrick is kinda hot tho

Submitted by annobanano on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:03pm.

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:56pm.

Also, that dork dude in the glasses probably has a big dong. He looks like the type.

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LOL, Hekki always gets to the meat of an issue

Submitted by tonicbitch on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:03pm.

LMAO Hekki I was thinking the same thing, he does look like he has a big one! However he also looks like Shaun White's lost twin, so no bueno.

Submitted by Glambert on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:03pm.

Submitted by me_ on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:53pm.
the drummer ?whoever? is more douche than the bieber... because HE has no money but envy.

obviously he also doesn't know the golden rule: celebs don't comment on other celebs, when asked stupid questions by paparazzi.
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You sound like a delusional Belieber.

Maybe the members of the black keys don't have as much money as Justin but It's not like they are poor and they do have something Justin doesn't...

7 Grammy awards.

Submitted by fredfred on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 4:02pm.

and patrick doesn't have envy and the black keys have plenty of money. ya know, because they write all of their songs and produce their own records. they also have no qualms about selling their shit to the highest bidder (which i find refreshing for once). they somehow have dough, cred, and the talent to continually back it up.

beibs is just upset that he's growing up and no one is following because he's insipid.

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watching hardcore ufos

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:59pm.

Submitted by annobanano on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:47pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:44pm.

Submitted by annobanano on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:15pm.

Did not see any of the Grammys. Never saw the White Stripes, but saw Jack with The Dead Weather - amazing.

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Awesome, I like the fact Jack just loves to play and play with new interesting people. He could have rode the White Stripes gig forever but it seems creativity is his thing, you can't bust on that!

Submitted by elmo533 on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:58pm.

Submitted by Doll-Parts on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:37pm.
That's the problem with manufactured celebrity. Legit musicians have spent years being heckled and booed. They don't flip out every time one person doesn't kiss their ass.
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THIS^^^^^^^

$100 bucks says that not only does this guy not give a shit what Beiber's response is, he will never hear cause nither he o anyone in his camp have been paying attention to an Grammy crap since the ceremony ended Sunday. Rocking out and being awesome takes up to much of their time. He could probably kick Biber's ass without setting his glasses askew.

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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 3:56pm.

Submitted by tonicbitch: "He's right and Bieber should be damn grateful, because if it weren't for Usher's boner combined with the musical tastes of delusional 11 year olds, he'd be folding jeans at an Old Navy somewhere."

Hahahahaha! Some day...

Also, that dork dude in the glasses probably has a big dong. He looks like the type.