Helena Bonham Carter Is Going To Show Lindsay Lohan How It's Really Done

It's probably impossible to top Lindsay Lohan's complicated, multi-layer and emotionally raw performance as Elizabeth Taylor, but Helena Bonham Carter is going to try. (Note: A popped pimple on Helena Bonham Carter's ass could top Lindsay Lohan's performance.) BBC4 is doing their own Liz & Dick movie and they got HBC to play Elizabeth Taylor and Jimmy McNulty from The Wire (born name: Dominic Gerard Fe West) to play Richard Burton.

BBC4's Burton & Taylor will only focus on the short time in 1983 when La Liz and Richard Burton starred in Private Lives together on Broadway. Liz and Dick weren't bumping nipples at the time, but they were still fighting and getting crazy backstage. HBC told the Daily Mail that she knows her face looks nothing like La Liz's face, but it's not about that and blah blah blah:

"I look nothing like her for a start but it’s about capturing the essence of them at a particular time. She was and continues to be a fascinating woman and she was a huge star. There’s no one comparable around now."

The world doesn't need another movie about Elizabeth Taylor the same way Grey Goose doesn't need another call from White Oprah begging them to let her be a taste tester, but at least Helena Bonham Carter can step away from playing a psychotic, crazy-eyed, twig-covered forest witch in ANOTHER Tim Burton movie. But really, I'd rather Helena Bonham Carter put on her witch makeup from Big Fish to play Lindsay Lohan in a BBC4 biopic about the making of Lifetime's Liz & Dick.

And more importantly, when are we going to get a biopic about the life of von Ryan from the White Diamonds commercials?!

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Baby Jane Hudson on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 1:15pm.

Seriously, we didn't need the first movie, why a 2nd? There isn't anything we don't already know.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 1:14pm.

@ vodka lushes -- i know i'm in the minority about Ketel. i have to stop my bartender friends from giving me "courtesy" pours of Ketel, i realize it is universally acclaimed as top top shelf. i'm going to check out Blue Ice, thanks. another good one is Cupcake plain vodka -- 6x distilled [imo Cupcake wine is crap though]

ETA: *laughs at bambam while sipping my summertime beverage of organic hairy legged Crop cucumber vodka, fresh lemonade and tonic w/lime*

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Anita Bidet on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 1:12pm.

This sounds pretty good. They should get Selena Gomez to play young Liz
http://i45.tinypic.com/35lxes8.jpg
at least she looks like her

Submitted by bambam on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 1:11pm.

*Gives foxxy the ole up and down look and sniffs at her "organic, hairy legs" vodka*

I think HBC would be a good choice for Liz. I disagree she only plays herself in every movie, she was very good as the queen in The King's Speech. Besides, Liz was born british wasn't she?

Better to let a brit have a try than that Russ Meyer drive-in movie hack Lohan.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ-QrCFMjs

Submitted by jelliebean on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 1:08pm.

Ditto G.G., tastes like cough syrup to me. I like Ketel One and Tito's but lately am on a Blue Ice kick, it's made from potatoes and is gluten free.

Submitted by jelliebean on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 1:05pm.

LMAO on White Diamonds commercial M.K., last time you mentioned it I replayed it all day drooling. Hahaha, it never gets old. I was in Target recently and saw they still sell it there so Thank God I have something to turn to in the cosmetics aisle, when I am faced with the horror of PMK's ugly mug on "Get Kris's Kolor!" nail polish. I throw myself onto the box of White Diamonds and gaze calmly into Liz's eyes: "A thing of beauty is a joy forever..."

Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 1:03pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:33pm.
--
Not to mention all the other "quality booze" we can't remember the name of... can you tell the brands by their horrid taste? Lol

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:59pm.

Submitted by SFRBully on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:47pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:33pm.
Speaking of Grey Goose...the most overrated SHIT tasting Vodka on the planet....that is all.
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YES! It doesn't deserve top shelf. I'm a SVEDKA girl!

*joins you in hating that Goose swill, side eyes the Ketel drinkers, and reaches over you to get to the Tito's and the Hangar One and the Crop (organic)*

i like HBC, i like Dominic West. i'll watch if it's on BBC Amer. no idea who could really pull off being La Liz...

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by bambam on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:54pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:33pm.

Speaking of Grey Goose...the most overrated SHIT tasting Vodka on the planet....that is all.

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No lie about that. Not much of a vodka man myself but I like that Ketel One when I indulge personally (i.e. go buy a bottle.)

Sometimes I would get some chocolate covered candied ginger, pop 'em in my mouth, chew 'em up a little, put the bottle to my lips and pull a shot like a kiss then swirl it around and swallow. Man, I would get sooo lit. Tasty!

OT: Helena Bonham Carter is def. one of my favorites, her cheekbones are just exquisite. There's a scene in CACF where she bites into a piece of chocolate and her cheeks hollow out just so. I put that shit on pause just to look at her. Sooo pervy. >:-P

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ-QrCFMjs

Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:54pm.

Actually I think it's perfect and I'd watch it especially with HBC. It's a snippet of Liz's life when she was fading from her beauty (she was plain fat in the late 70s) and I bet it will have great Virginia Woolfe/All About Eve backstage drama. I'm already sick of here's Cleopatra.....here's Eddie Fisher.....but I suppose I'll miss the "Richard is dead" Blohan faint.

Submitted by NovaNightly on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:54pm.

I could watch this...love HBC! I don't know how she'll do with the voice and I suppose with costumes and makeup she'd probably look a hell of a lot better than crackhan. I do agree though that they need to stop with the ET movies. Let her rest already!

<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

Submitted by FrappenBloat on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:53pm.

Can't stand HBC. She's in EVERYTHING. Hate seeing her face in every new film, esp coupled with her husband and Johnny Depp. She acted more like Johnny than herself in Les Mis. She's over rated and over cooked. Time for some better actresses (who aren't in her social circle) to get a chance to shine. Damn, she always plays herself anyway. Completely loony.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:52pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:33pm.

I agree. It's all about the Ketel One :)

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

Submitted by SFRBully on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:49pm.

Why do we like HBC? I don't know. I'd like to throw it out there that it's because she is a grown up goth-type chick who doesn't seem to try too hard to be cool and dark (HINT, SOFALIPS JOLIE)and talk about drinking blood and she gets to have the penis that created Jack Skellington and a bunch of other great movies.

Mmmhumm... I RECKON I'LL TAKE A COUPLE OF THE BIGGUNS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqTWQiTlhKQ&t=1m19s

Submitted by SFRBully on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:47pm.

~pours you a glass of SFRB and Svedka~

Right... right?
(I haven't tasted them all, but Dan Aykroyd's Crystal Skull was pretty good. I got to meet him. He has a penis nose. I took a good photo w/it when I drink the vodka I have nice thoughts.)
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Mmmhumm... I RECKON I'LL TAKE A COUPLE OF THE BIGGUNS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqTWQiTlhKQ&t=1m19s

Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:46pm.

We don't need another movie about Liz! Let alone a dark and disturbed one... although, I would watch Helena before Blowhan's. Is this the decade of La Liz??

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:45pm.

I love HBC but hasn't Elizabeth suffered enough?

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

Submitted by Nanners on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:41pm.

Stop pissing on Liz Taylor's grave!

It makes me afraid for when they start the Amy Winehouse biopics.

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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012

Submitted by mharker on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:39pm.

Is it that hard to find a good actress who at least has some resemblance to Elizabeth Taylor? Helena Bonham Carter's a good enough actress, but she wouldn't be my first choice.

I guess I'm just biased because I watched Etoile last night and was struck by how much Jennifer Connelly looked like Liz Taylor.

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Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 02/12/2013 - 12:35pm.

I get what she's saying. Blohan's mess tried to tell their entire story and this will just be Martha and George do theater for a summer.