Helena Bonham Carter Is Going To Show Lindsay Lohan How It’s Really Done

It’s probably impossible to top Lindsay Lohan’s complicated, multi-layer and emotionally raw performance as Elizabeth Taylor, but Helena Bonham Carter is going to try. (Note: A popped pimple on Helena Bonham Carter’s ass could top Lindsay Lohan’s performance.) BBC4 is doing their own Liz & Dick movie and they got  HBC to play Elizabeth Taylor and Jimmy McNulty from The Wire (born name: Dominic Gerard Fe West) to play Richard Burton.

BBC4’s Burton & Taylor will only focus on the short time in 1983 when La Liz and Richard Burton starred in Private Lives together on Broadway. Liz and Dick weren’t bumping nipples at the time, but they were still fighting and getting crazy backstage. HBC told the Daily Mail that she knows her face looks nothing like La Liz’s face, but it’s not about that and blah blah blah:

“I look nothing like her for a start but it’s about capturing the essence of them at a particular time. She was and continues to be a fascinating woman and she was a huge star. There’s no one comparable around now.”

The world doesn’t need another movie about Elizabeth Taylor the same way Grey Goose doesn’t need another call from White Oprah begging them to let her be a taste tester, but at least Helena Bonham Carter can step away from playing a psychotic, crazy-eyed, twig-covered forest witch in ANOTHER Tim Burton movie. But really, I’d rather Helena Bonham Carter put on her witch makeup from Big Fish to play Lindsay Lohan in a BBC4 biopic about the making of Lifetime’s Liz & Dick.

And more importantly, when are we going to get a biopic about the life of von Ryan from the White Diamonds commercials?!