I’ll wait here as you lure your soul from the darkest corner of the room after it jumped out of your ass from seeing this picture of Madonna slurping on a martini glass full of the tears of Lady CaCa and the green balls of Guy Ritchie. Madge opened her Instagram account a while ago, but she officially christened it yesterday by posting this terrifying picture of her looking like Mr. Burns as an albino Bettie Page. THOSE DEMON EYES! If you’re a dude, then your nutsack probably ripped itself off of your body and slammed itself against the screen, because her eyes could cut off a pair of iron testicles.
Madge didn’t stop there either. She posted also posted this picture….
Oh, Madge, you old whore, you. I guess since Madge wasn’t a 17-year-old slut during the whole MySpace era, she didn’t get to post a picture of her chichis on the Internet. So she’s making up for lost times by posting her sweaty tits on Instagram. Get it, Madge. Show Demi Moore how memaws gone wild really do it.