“Why don’t I just flash you real quick and we can pretend like this never…. Wait, why are your running away while scratching at your eyeballs? Take these papers with you!!!!” is probably what White Oprah screamed at a process server yesterday when he dropped off foreclosure notice papers. Both Radar and The New York Post says that a process server dropped off very important court documents at the Lohan family house on Long Island yesterday. The fat-mouthed process served told a reporter for the Post that the documents were for a mortgage issue with Chase bank. Radar says that this isn’t the first time White Oprah is in danger of losing the Lohan family crack house and that she’s almost $1 million in debt. That gurgling in my stomach isn’t from the Oreo and protein powder shake I had for breakfast. It’s from thinking of that Steve dude from Vivid offering LiLo and White Oprah $1 million to do mother/daughter porn.
Radar also says that LiLo moved into her old bedroom at White Oprah’s house, because her credit sucks and she can’t even afford to rent a storage closet in the Bronx. But some source (FYI: in real talk, “some source” translates into “Dina Lohan“) tells TMZ that LiLo isn’t shacked up in her old bedroom. LiLo is putting the SO? and HO in SoHo, because she’s living rent-free in a friend’s SoHo penthouse. The friend is letting her stay there for free until she can get her own place and is letting her live there for as long as she wants.
I really can’t hate on LiLo’s hustle. Whenever I give a lazy handjob and a half-assed blow job, I get pushed out of the car. But when LiLo does it, she gets to live in a SoHo penthouse for free! I wonder if her friend is still going to consider himself a friend of hers when he shows up to his penthouse and finds that she’s taken everything including the faucets and that she’s been renting the place to the leaders of an underground sex ring for twice as much.