When The Lady's Face In The Background Says It All
Lindsay Lohan showed up to the amfAR Gala in NYC last night and where oh where to begin...
THOSE CHEEKS! Phoebe Price better inject her farm to table cheeks with massive amounts of growth hormones, because LiLo is showing her up in the chicken cutlets department. LiLo's got a Costco chicken cutlets family pack stuffed into those cheeks.
THOSE LIPS! That lipstick color makes her lips look like two long keloids. Not that she was invited, but the only way LiLo can go to the Grammys this Sunday is if she covers the puffy labia lips on her face with a pussy pastie.
THAT WIG WEAVE THING! I'm not sure if that's an old wig, factory-defected Barbie hair from the Mattel factory or if she just pulled clumps of hair out of the drain, sprayed them down with shellac and threw that shit on her head.
THOSE SHOES! Those are the shoes that come in the amateur drag queen starter kit.
WOODY ALLEN! Creepy ass Woody Allen looks creeped out and that's an achievement since the contents of his hard drive can probably make the most seasoned FBI agent blush.
THE ENTIRE LOOK! It's very "60-something retired Italian porn star turned black widow."
With all that being said, this might be the best she's looked in months! I guess living in White Oprah's house is doing her some good. Yeah, the NYDN says that LiLo can't even afford rent at the Y, so she's moved back into her old room at White Oprah's house on Long Island. QUICK! Somebody get Albert Maysles over there, because that mess sounds like the coked up, drunk version of Grey Gardens. Grey Goose Gardens!
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Dress is from the Ginger Grant collection, available exclusively from Charlotte Russe...
She looks like she would smell like Marlboros, gas station weed, vodka saturation and unwashed sex.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Stay Puft!
first off: grey goose gardens GENIUS.
secondly: how many Thumpers died for this horrible hoodie?
finally: How long is this going to go on? Her substance abuse has ravaged her looks and no doubt her insides. She looks really sick and is knock knock knocking at death's door.
.
This might've been saved with a sophisticated, smooth, glossy updo.
Her raggedy-Ann hair really does ruin everything else.
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GREY. GOOSE. GARDENS.
I just died.
wow. She just looks so ridiculous.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
O, what a tangled weave she wears!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Those Lips!! A generous mix of delusion with coke and vodka bloat.
Woody's EYE! Did he have a stroke..that left eye is wonked out!
She always looks like she needs a bath or two.
I think we should all just give her a break and let her spend her retirement years in peace.
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
If I didn't know what she used to look like I'd say not bad for a desperate 40 something housewife from Jersey but really she looks nothing like her former self.
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
In some pictures, she almost looks 45. Improvement!
Lohan is looking good for a 60 year old!!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 7:25pm.
She looks like a BABOON'S ASS... ;p
LMFAO!
She looks like a BABOON'S ASS... ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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She is a fucking hot mess. Her hair looks like she just rolled out of bed. How the fuck is she allowed to leave the country when the IRS has shut her ass down?, they should have confiscated her passport if they could find it, bitch is a flight risk, off to Dubai to suck and spread for Arab men. Whats she doing over there?, surely not a movie.
Oh, shit, man. Grey Goose Gardens. Fucking dying laughing right now. Needs to be a short film or fucking play or something.
Pate OR ice cream = coke, Big Edie's "singing career" = Dina's "Rockettes" shit...
Lindsay would costume herself in, like, old wigs and ripped leggings. Shit with security tags. Someone's monogram visible that's not hers.
cats = tabloid reporters.
"Edie! I have a wonderful idea! Let's start breeding TABLOID REPORTERS!" "Look at that face. Adorable". They could be like crawling all over the beds and into their laps and shit.
And a million other gags. I need to figure out who their Jackie would be.
(no relation to Jennifer Lopez, she wishes)
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 3:28pm.
Deb, squatting down to the table and bending over to snort lines doesn't count as exercise?
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Ha! I'm sure she gets a lot of squatting exercise, PSL. Nudge, nudge!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Well, even if it meant being caught in the background, it was worth it to get these photos (from the flip side). http://www.esquire.com/the-side/style-guides/amfar-gala-red-carpet-polar...
Only Goldie Hawn can wear the carp lips with aplomb.
Is Woody Allen saying with his eyes:
"I would've banged her 10 or 15 years ago and she was my wives adopted daughter. Now....not so much!".
I still can't understand it: how does a useless, talentless, drug addicted, alcoholic, delusional now-Z-list actress who was a decent child star (but now can't act her way out of a paper bag) end up at so many events? Is she invited, and, if so, has the organizer of the event had a CAT scan lately? Is she crashing the events, and, if so, why hasn't security kicked the shit out of her & dumped her in the alley behind the venue?
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
I guess Dubai is where the evil skanksluts go for quick hooking cash (also see: Kartrashians!)
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 3:00pm.
Yes, they were polled, and Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin and the rest don't want their club ruined by Blohan.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
She kind of looks like Jenni Rivera in that picture. No disrespect intended to Jenni. RIP
blazingwhitetrash -- she gets invites probably because she promises anal & rim jobs to any guy who looks at her, though at this point, anal with her would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
God talk about Lindsay CokeBloat-Ham. She looks like a bloated can of spam. How is she still getting invites anywhere??
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Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.
-Sophia Loren
THE ENTIRE LOOK! It's very "60-something retired Italian porn star turned black widow."
hey! we may both be gingers, but i resent that!
Deb, squatting down to the table and bending over to snort lines doesn't count as exercise?
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In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be
So sick of that 'hair pulled to the front on both sides, hot rollered Long-Island 80's' hair her and her mother both won't give up. Give it a rest already.
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11
wow. and not in a good way.
"Just look at all the fucks I give!"
MardiGras -- you're right, WO & Blohan must have learned their grifting ways from someone, probably Nana.
megank -- Blohan is too miserable to join the 27 club. She wants to torment us with her presence for as long as she can. Also, she doesn't have enough talent to join the club.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
Submitted by Emeriesan on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 1:30pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:13pm.
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OMG, those pics of Blohan with the short shorts and socks! Nasty bloody bandaid on her left thigh with a bunch of bruises - EWWW! Must have fallen on her bony ass.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 10:36am.
I feel bad for her. She really needs help or she'll end up like Amy WInehouse...
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I really think she's trying to join the 27 Club. She would.
Grey Goose Gardens!!!!!!!!!
*dies*
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:05pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:08pm.
Ahhahahha - grifty twat - good one. I'm sure she insufferable and delusional, but I remember that she was once a fresh faced talent and held promise. I love a good come back story.
Or maybe it's just my say something nice day.
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 11:26am.
Her body is gross. It's thin, yet soft and doughy. You can tell she has never stepped foot inside of a gym. Just a nasty bitch, all-around.
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Gross indeed. But don't you remember the times she was in rehab and HAD to leave the facility to go to the gym to work out? LOL!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
As unattractive she looks in this pic I see a real ressemblance with Liz Taylor...
I'm 10 years her senior, constantly battling my weight, partied with the worst of them, yet somehow managed to avoid getting the double chin and jowls this hag acquired.
That's a lot of vodka right there.
team Dubai!
i thought i'd go on youtube & watch some scenes from 'Liz & Dick' for a lil' funny haha...but, i just came away feeling sad.
sad for the legacy of Liz Taylor. Lindsey was absolutely dreadful. if you don't believe me just youtube some of Liz Taylor's interviews from the 50's & 60's. Linsanity didn't even come close to an accurate imitation of her.
f*ck, Marlee Matlin would've done a better job. :-(
Lookin' good for a 68 year old.
That hair looks like something from an old Barbie doll and why is she allowed to mess with her face some more with all those taxes she owes? Bullshit!
Little Edie wouldn't even wrap her bald head in these rags to feed the raccoons! I Sprained My Uvula, I would like to join your festering twat club. These kinds of train wreck photos make my damn day.
Double chin.
That is all.
Love,
Mabel
She's too old for him.
(I can post about Woody)
Hair extensions pieced together from a runaway St Bernard that escaped the beer factory: 99 cents (elmers glue at Big Lots)
Orange "spray tan" price of a loitering vandalism ticket about 50 dollars (old strips of Congoleum stolen from an abandoned tenement rubbed onto her skin)
The look on Woody Allen's face: PRICELESS
Well, I'll bet the neighbors are just LOVIN' this!--Mama.
Why on Earth is Woody photo-bombing Lindsay? She's at least 12 years older than the kind of girls he goes for.
Zabelita, make sure your wallet isn't missing...
"I immediately was so sick by it and upset that I turned over and went back to sleep.” Soon-Yi Previn
Not...going...to...post...again.. onthismess...arrrghh.. ipromisedmyself....
(beautiful description though M.K.)
*runs from thread*
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:54pm.
MardiGras -- I like the way you think! I say we contact the consulate over there, arrange for them to keep her & the Lohan harem (does that include Nana?), it truly is a win-win situation. Could you imagine how much time & money that would free up for the CDC???
Of course it includes Nana. She taught them everything she knows, and deserves to live out her days in a Dubai nursing home, wrapped in a burka--which will hide the bottles of grey goose and the joory she's stolen from the other "residents."
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:13pm.
http://www.eonline.com/news/385666/lindsay-lohan-s-bags-searched-by-secu...
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Of course security searched her! are you kidding, she'd steal the fuckin scanning equipment if she could.
Maybe it makes me a festering twathole, but I love laughing at her hideous visage and fashion.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
I feel sorry for the humiliation that poor animals have to go through, being made into a coat for LL, then to top it off a coat with short sleeves? Ugh maybe she made leggings with the cut off sleeves?============================================
...the end