Afternoon Crumbs

The not-knowing-bitch who took the ginge out of Anne of Green Gables and made her look like Jessica Simpson’s stand-in for the Dukes of Hazzard movie should be arrested, tried and found guilty of committing literary fuckery – Buzzfeed

Anne Hathaway’s dress makes it looks like her nipples are heavily breathing in and out – Lainey Gossip 

I hate myself for mistaking Minka Kelly for Mariska Hargitay – Hollywood Tuna 

Eva Mendes is pretty much Ryan Gosling’s “muse” now – Celebitchy

John Noble is the new Star Wars villain and I’m okay with this as long as Prince Valium is in the movie too. Wait, I’m thinking of the right space movie, right? – The Superficial 

Elizabeth Banks does the bike ride of shame or she has to caca really bad – Drunken Stepfather

The Crystal Enchantress of the Ice tells Olympic athletes to tone down their gayness when in Russia and I’m sitting here wondering how in the hell does the Crystal Enchantress of the Ice tone down HIS gayness? – Towleroad

Ashley Greene looks like an extra in the Molodvian wedding scene from Dynasty – Popoholic

If Justin Timberlake’s album doesn’t work out, he can always sell the cover to optometrist offices – ICYDK

#35 is the panty pudding-inducer of all the panty pudding-inducers on this list – The Berry 

People are still paying Kristen Stewart to “act” – Just Jared

Did somebody say “MARIJUANA E-CIGS“?! – Cityrag

Meredith Vieria really loves pigeons (the bird, not the female scrub) – SOW

Bjork writes like a serial killing 1st grader and I’d expect nothing less – OMG Blog

When I turn on the news tonight, I fully expect to see shots of Khloe Kardashian ripping out the bones of Armenians with her teeth to get to their marrow – IDLYITW

Either Jessica Simpson is like 5 weeks pregnant or she’s not going to get to the size of three Mama Junes like last time – Popsugar

Colin Farrell looks like he’s wearing a bike helmet made of hair – I’m Not Obsessed

But do you get the 300 cats when you rent Grey Gardens? – Jezebel

I’ll take THAT’S ENOUGH for 200, Alex – Videogum

More people wanted to see Madge’s muscled up crotch than Beyonce’s muscled up crotch – Moe Jackson