Open Post: Hosted By The New Monopoly Cat

February 6, 2013 / Posted by:

Let’s all pour a thimble full of the sweet nectar out for the iron, because its days as a Monopoly piece are over. I can finally say, “I want to the PUSSAY!” before playing a game of Monopoly, because after a fan vote on Facebook, the cat was voted in and the iron was voted out.

HuffPo says that the cat beat the robot, the helicopter, the guitar and the diamond ring. The shoe and the wheelbarrow were almost voted out, but in the end the iron got kicked out and is now living behind a dumpster on Mediterranean Avenue. The shoe, the thimble, the top hat, the racecar, the Scottie dog the battleship and the wheelbarrow will stay on as pieces.

NOT THE IRON! When you’re drunk, stoned and your fingers have become gummi worms, the iron was the Monopoly piece to go with because it had a little handle. That little handle came in handy when you were fucked up. But whatever, of course the cat wins. The cat always wins. The only way the cat wouldn’t have won is if it was up against a (useable) bong piece and a dildo piece. And yes, that was a hint to Hasbro. Dump the shoe and give me a dildo!

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