Somewhere A Bed Is Missing Its Skirt

February 5, 2013 / Posted by:

If you threw a bleach-stained B.U.M. Equipment zip-up hoodie, grocery store flip flops, a scrunchie bracelet and a key chain with about 10,000 keys on it (Side note: Why do people in CA carry so many keys? Are all of them wardens at a pirate prison?) on Jennifer Lawrence, you’d have my cousin going to the gas station to buy an Arizona Iced Tea and scratchers. My cousin has even wore lipstick that almost matched her skin color before, because she wanted to look like she wasn’t wearing any lipstick. Well, bitch, I hate to break it to you, but the fact that you’re wearing lipstick gives away the fact that you’re wearing lipstick.

Jennifer Lawrence showed up to the Oscar Nominees Luncheon in L.A. last night and I’m guessing it was a business casual type of event. She ignored the first word in business casual. Jennifer looks like she just got back from the beach where she spent the past 8 hours getting drunk on sun, saltwater and beer. This is a look that says “give me aloe vera and another Coronita.” On a positive note, Jennifer Lawrence looks like a twin bed. Her chichis are the pillow, her torso is the lying down part and the bottom of her dress is the skirt. You’d probably have the best power nap on her.

And below are also pictures of Jennifer at The Hollywood Reporter Nominees Night party in Beverly Hills last night. That dress looks like a bedazzled skin infection complete with picked-at scabs and she’s got guinea pig hair.

The answer to the question “For why does she look like this?” totally explains why she looks like this. The answer is: her stylist is Rachel “Chupa” Zoe. Case closed!

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