The last time Tan Mom made an appearance at XL in NYC, she attacked a drag queen, fell on the red carpet, cursed everyone out and got kicked off the stage. (So basically, she was you on any given Friday night.) XL loves a mess, so they invited Tan Mom back for an encore performance and she did more of the same, but this time she also flashed her pork rinds, delivered some sweet, sweet moves and served up some caveman glamour. (So basically, she was you on any given Saturday night.) Yes, I said “caveman glamour.” If you look at these pictures after cooking your brains in a tanning bed for four days straight, she will look like Raquel Welch in One Million Years BC to you. Or in the very least, she’d look like Harpo Marx as Raquel Welch.
And I was going to say that this is Lindsay Lohan’s future, but this is Lindsay Lohan now. Living the life!