Open Post: Hosted By A Hatchet-Wielding Homeless Hero
We should all feel a little safer knowing that if we're ever attacked by a crazed racist who thinks he's Jesus, a real-life Jeff Spicoli will magically appear and save the day!
KMPH Fox 26 (via Mediaite) brings us this story from Fresno, CA about a psychopath who claimed that he was the reincarnation of Jesus and was trying to rid the world of black people. The crazy racist bitch targeted a PG&E worker, because he was black and rammed a car into him. The KKK's answer to Jesus pinned the man between his car and a truck and then tried to pull the man out to finish him off. Two women saw the whole thing go down and ran toward the scene to stop Racist Jesus from hurting the man even more. When the women started telling the crazy bitch to leave the man alone, he started attacking one of them and tried to bear hug her to death. Then the dark clouds cleared, lightning flashed and a hitchhiking, hatchet-wielding homeless savior named Kai dropped from the sky to save everyone!
Because this story isn't crazy enough, Kai happened to be the passenger in the racist Jesus' truck. The racist Jesus was giving Kai a ride.
Kai jumped out of the truck, pulled out his hatchet and became the anti-Christ when he started smashing on the racist Jesus. The police showed up, arrested the racist Jesus and the PG&E worker was taken to the hospital where he was treated for two broken legs.
Kai's interview with Fox is perfection from start to finish and is the best thing that has come out of Fox. "Smash, smash, smu-ash!" is the new "Run and tell that!"
And I better see Kai in the next Avengers movie. Thor who?
• 
Again, no hard feelings.
UBF - I'm sorry if my comments hit a nerve. I clearly wasn't thinking about the other side of this issue. My sincere apologies.
My little brother actually got polio from his vaccination as a 3 month old baby. As I understand it, the vaccine itself is a very small dose of the disease that one's body should generally fight off. Well, his didn't, and his left leg has been paralyzed his entire life. My mom didn't want me to get vaccinations after that and suspended them altogether until the school board threatened to kick me out of high school until I got all caught up. There was no homeschooling or other options at the time - either I got them completed or I didn't get my edumacation.
I know there are many different circumstances involving vaccinations and I inappropriately tend to lump all these scenarios together and picture Jenny McCarthy screaming her words of 'wisdom.' Each situation is unique.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
UBF, normal is over rated. Your kids are alive and happy. THat is all that matters. Well to me it is.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:20pm.
snowy - I was listening my tunes this weekend and Lil G said "who the hell is this?" I said "Tupac" she said WHO??? holy shit. So I schooled her on 2pac and the whole biggie thing... SHE FREAKIN LOVES HIM NOW and is like OMFG HE IS SO HOT... stupid kids
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"I ain't a killer but don't push me
Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRVwrhDArOU
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
So I saw that Michael Fassbender movie 'Shame' over the weekend. It was a huge WTF?! I wanted to see Fassbender dong, but then I felt icky about it. Has anyone else seen it? Am I supposed to assume that he & his sister had an incestuous relationship?
No need for the pity party, I dont know "normal". So I dont have to feel like i had some kind of loss. My kids are cool kids, hilarious , and not as bad off as some kids with Autism are, they can tell me if they are in pain, they aren`t mean or violent, dont self-injure, they smile and laugh all day long and are generally happy kids. Just autistic happy kids. Sorry, i guess the Momma Bear came out for a minute in the last few lines of my previous post.
@ Orangina - zactly what I was talking about, lol
Submitted by Winnyfranfran on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:47pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:37pm.
I saw The Who in 1982 at the Pontiac Silverdome. Eddie Money and The Clash opened up for them. It was my first concert. It was awesome! I later found out my sisters and my brother were seated right near me but I didn't see them there.
I was at that same concert!!!! We got off I-75 on the wrong exit and The Who were sitting in 2 separate limos (windows down so it WAS them)at a light. We were screaming, honking, and waving FOOLS.
Do any of you have relatives that you visit that leave you with gobs and gobs of food to take home? I love going over to one of my great aunt's because not only is she a character, but she also likes giving you food, and not the cheap knock-off shit either.
Over the weekend my mom and I went out to eat with them, and after we all got back to my aunt's house, my aunt was like hold up, you want some chicken??? And proceeds to open her freezer and pull out huge ass ziploc bags raw frozen chicken tenders and bag of other chicken parts(legs, thighs, breasts) a pack of seasoned chicken sausage(which I'm not gonna try and eat) a pack of country style ribs and a couple of big ass frozen dinners. My mom looks at me and goes, "guess you won't be needing to make groceries for a minute huh?" Lmao!
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
UBF - sorry.
Maybe the guy who says the world (or his neighborhood) would be saved after we kill all the n-words is really a lovely guy and only wants to kill black people as a joke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0C6nvNlVx1A
He's a nice guy - really - he was just joking. That fascist nazi hippie.
(Is it hippy?)
ME, it hit here a little over a year ago. My son was a Senior then and they were so freaked out that they had all the kids get another booster "just to make sure". So no kid could register for high school unless they got it. My kid WAS NOT HAPPY.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:37pm.
I saw The Who in 1982 at the Pontiac Silverdome. Eddie Money and The Clash opened up for them. It was my first concert. It was awesome! I later found out my sisters and my brother were seated right near me but I didn't see them there.
Oh, ba-buttons... Since you're a man and don't have that thing where you automatically develop feelings for someone you bang, you might be capable of a one-night stand with no complications. But is she? It sounds like more than just physical attraction on your end, and that can lead to trouble.
I know you're a hottie, and you should have no trouble finding hot, sweet, smart women to bang. You don't need someone who's married. I think it's fine to crush on a married person (lord knows I have), but acting on it is always a headache, according to my observations. Someone ALWAYS gets hurt.
Good luck!
Sorry for your hard times UBF
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:41pm.
Foxxy - No. I'm closer to you. Henry Cowell is my back yard.
oh, i see! i just guessed the places in CA where i've personally observed the most eye-rolling instances of hippydom :-P
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:35pm.
GG - Whooping cough - It's been going around our school this winter. No one in our house has caught it (my kids may be vaccinated?? not sure) if it's part of the routine vaccinations then they are. But yeah I'm seeing illness coming back that were dormant for decades.
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Whooping cough is part of the TDaP vaccine. I think it is part of the regular vaccination schedule, but you should get it every 10 years if possible.
Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:27pm.
@ Jacko - show Lil G some of the Digital Underground videos where Tupac is a backup dancer. She'll get over that hard core rapper.
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Oh you mean like this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byIkY9qsTdU
I m going to pipe in on the Vaccination debate for a second. Having two kids with Autism, i have seen both. Our first kid had never shown any reaction to any vaccination. EVER. He is autistic and to me has had shown signs of Autism as early as 6 months old. Our second son was developing perfectly normal until he got his 12 months round of shots. He went from talking to nonverbal, screeching all day long, sensory issues out the ass to the point of vomiting when he touched something slimy , when he just at his 1st birthday 3 weeks earlier shoved his mushy Birthday cake in his face with both hands. It has been a documented change in him, witnessed by professionals, who were at the time working with our older son and saw our little one on a 3 times a week basis. I am not saying that Autism is caused by vaccinations. What i am saying is there is some genetic component and the full flown Autism can be triggered by outside factors, in our case the vaccines. There are known allergies to EVERY DRUG under the sun, why is it so hard to believe that some children react to them? I choose to not vaccinate my younger son out of the same reason a parent who knows their kid is allergic to peanuts isn`t feeding their kids peanutbutter sandwiches, even if the world says peanutbutter is soooo healthy. We have tried several times since then, with every shot resulting in MONTHS of therapy to recover skills that he has had before the shots. Our older son is now also not vaccinated, but that is due to immune suppressant medication he is on due to an unrelated issue and cannot receive any life virus vaccinations. And the fact that the CDC now has starting PAYING after losing lawsuits from parents with autistic kids isnt very reassuring either. Just my two cents. Lived it, seen it, got the fucking T shirt. Walk a mile in my shoes, then we ll talk.
Foxxy - No. I'm closer to you. Henry Cowell is my back yard.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:52pm.
OMG DID YOU SEE THEIR HUG? omg it was so sweet♥
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I thought they were so brave to endure the smell of each other.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:54pm.
But did he invent 7 minute abs?
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Foxxy - I've seen The Who - AFUCKINGMAZING performance for geezers!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:31pm.
chewi - I agree. Totally irresponsible. Let's not vaccinate little Timmy, but here, smoke this bowl!
NO OFFENSE HERBERS!
Just seems hypocritical to be against vaccinating your kid and be a big ole hippy and live "clean" but you smoke weed like it's fucking air.
LOL. so, are you in Bolinas or Encinitas? ;-) lmao
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:33pm.
My mom took me to a "Chicken pox party" when I was 2.
Hahaha what the hell. I got chicken pox (first time) when I was 17, and measles a month after. Both times people we knew asked if they could bring their children to "sit with" me. As if I wasn't already suffering enough.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:33pm.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:31pm.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:22pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:16pm.
.
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My mom took me to a "Chicken pox party" when I was 2.
THANKS MOM!
Yes, I got 'em. I got them then, and I got em again when I was 20.
THAT SUCKED.
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Wow. I've never heard of anyone getting it twice. Maybe it's not such a bad idea, then.
I know I'll be asking about the shingles vaccine at my next dr.'s appointment. My Grandma managed to get that twice. She's usually the Energizer Bunny, but she couldn't move for days.
@ DD --- awww, thanks for asking! it was absofuckinglutely incredible!!! first, keep your eyes on their opening act, Vintage Trouble. maybe familiar to many but they're new to me. kinda think more r&b kings of leon with a lead singer who blows like Al Green and moves like James Brown! they're on Conan tonight
those Who peepaws are both very good at what they do. the staging of the opera is superb, 5 screens on stage, 2 at sides, Moon and Entwhistle in part performed their roles on screen, and the young guns now touring with the peepaws did portions of the roles. band could not be more tight, Pete's magnum opus was given its due. Peepaw Daltrey had to tell the front floor seats to stop smoking weed -- he's allergic, closes his throat. got raspy for a min but his voice came back. the greatest hits part was awesome too! it really did knock me against the back of my seat and tears flowed a little to realize i was lucky enough to see those two guys live before they retire from touring [ok, fine, shrooms might have been involved in that].
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
ME, my moms did the same thing. She put all the kids in one room to watch tv and BAM! That was a shitty two weeks...5 miserable itchy kids.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:28pm.
mike, I would say any town NOT in a valley and away from the cost. But that is just my humble opinion.
Yeah, I know to avoid the valleys. Thanks.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:31pm.
ITA. I don't GAF if anyone smokes weed (it's legal now here, you know), but when there is a proven resource available to fight debilitating diseases and it's covered 100% by health insurance coverage, why WOULDN'T you vaccinate your kids? I just don't understand it.
*shanks Jenny McCarthy for creating unnecessary mass hysteria*
Whooping cough, of all things, shut down a few elementary schools here already this winter. So stupid!
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
GG - Whooping cough - It's been going around our school this winter. No one in our house has caught it (my kids may be vaccinated?? not sure) if it's part of the routine vaccinations then they are. But yeah I'm seeing illness coming back that were dormant for decades.
Oh I think I am in love with the hippie homeless dude.
FREZZZZ-NO! *waves* Hi, auntie Rosie!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:31pm.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:22pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:16pm.
chewi - I live in hippi town. There is a HUGE population of people here who do not immunize their children, for many reasons, but a very big belief among a lot of them is they believe the MMR vaccination causing the increase in Autism risk.
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*rolls eyes*
I cannot deal with people who don't vaccinate their kids. It's the same thing here and it's so ridiculous. I work with a guy that had a kid about 3 1/2 years ago, and that kid has not had one single vaccination. Working in the healthcare industry, you can imagine the side-eye he's getting from basically everyone in this office. It's just so irresponsible, in my opinion.
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ITA. Although I don't believe in the chicken pox vaccine - go play with a sick kid like everyone else! But MMR and TDaP (tetanus, diptheria and pertussis) are serious shit.
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My mom took me to a "Chicken pox party" when I was 2.
THANKS MOM!
Yes, I got 'em. I got them then, and I got em again when I was 20.
THAT SUCKED.
chewi - I agree. Totally irresponsible. Let's not vaccinate little Timmy, but here, smoke this bowl!
NO OFFENSE HERBERS!
Just seems hypocritical to be against vaccinating your kid and be a big ole hippy and live "clean" but you smoke weed like it's fucking air.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:22pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:16pm.
chewi - I live in hippi town. There is a HUGE population of people here who do not immunize their children, for many reasons, but a very big belief among a lot of them is they believe the MMR vaccination causing the increase in Autism risk.
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*rolls eyes*
I cannot deal with people who don't vaccinate their kids. It's the same thing here and it's so ridiculous. I work with a guy that had a kid about 3 1/2 years ago, and that kid has not had one single vaccination. Working in the healthcare industry, you can imagine the side-eye he's getting from basically everyone in this office. It's just so irresponsible, in my opinion.
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ITA. Although I don't believe in the chicken pox vaccine - go play with a sick kid like everyone else! But MMR and TDaP (tetanus, diptheria and pertussis) are serious shit.
When I heard that Whooping Cough made a come back I wanted to punch out some dumb assholes. That disease was basically gone and irresponsible cunts let it come back and into our schools. People should have their diseased rugrats stay at home.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
On Saturday I took my grumpy ass kids and the rent-a-kid I had (Big D had a sleep over Friday night) and went hiking in the woods much to their protest. SORRY DUDES, NO MORE MINECRAFT! TIME TO GTF OUT OF THE HOUSE IT'S BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE!
Anyways, they wound up having a blast, we hiked in an hour and then back out an hour. I'm now the owner of 12 banana slugs, that I have to go return to the forest. SO SLIMEY! Didn't see any other critters though.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:52pm.
OMG DID YOU SEE THEIR HUG? omg it was so sweet♥
Yeah - I thought so, too.
That, and the Budweiser pony ad made my day.
...............
Shut up you ugly poo-faced git!
mike, I would say any town NOT in a valley and away from the cost. But that is just my humble opinion.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
@ Jacko - show Lil G some of the Digital Underground videos where Tupac is a backup dancer. She'll get over that hard core rapper.
Kai's peeps are all over the place where I live. They're good people. I think we're supposed to say "Oh no, he had a hatchet!" but I hitchhiked when I was Kai's age and the passenger is in WAY more danger than the driver. The thing is so many good people are afraid so the only ones that will pick you up are either a little offbeat but kind, or else totally plotting what to marinate your body in before they cook you.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:21pm.
How was The Who concert?
Yes!!! HSOTY!!!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:16pm.
chewi - I live in hippi town. There is a HUGE population of people here who do not immunize their children, for many reasons, but a very big belief among a lot of them is they believe the MMR vaccination causing the increase in Autism risk.
______________________________________________
*rolls eyes*
I cannot deal with people who don't vaccinate their kids. It's the same thing here and it's so ridiculous. I work with a guy that had a kid about 3 1/2 years ago, and that kid has not had one single vaccination. Working in the healthcare industry, you can imagine the side-eye he's getting from basically everyone in this office. It's just so irresponsible, in my opinion.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
luv me some lilG!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:13pm.
This story reminds me of a Bill Hicks comedy routine:
RIP Hicks -- love him!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
snowy - I was listening my tunes this weekend and Lil G said "who the hell is this?" I said "Tupac" she said WHO??? holy shit. So I schooled her on 2pac and the whole biggie thing... SHE FREAKIN LOVES HIM NOW and is like OMFG HE IS SO HOT... stupid kids
----------------------------------------------
"I ain't a killer but don't push me
Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:13pm.
That's awesome PSL. 6 hours - wow. Just wow.
I took a long weekend and didn't think ONE TIME about my office, and I couldn't have had a better weekend. The weather was lovely, the Super Bowl, etc., etc., etc.
Now I'm back at work...uggggggggggggggggggggggh. So ready for the weekend again. I should know within the next few months if my job will be eliminated. If it is, I will get a six month severance package. I already have the first month planned out - do absolutely everything I enjoy and NOTHING I don't enjoy. I just hope I can hold on until April. Being in a limbo position makes the week pretty unbearable.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:16pm.
chewi - I live in hippi town. There is a HUGE population of people here who do not immunize their children, for many reasons, but a very big belief among a lot of them is they believe the MMR vaccination causing the increase in Autism risk.
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That has all the makings for a major pandemic. They will call it Hippie Dippy plague.
I watched that POS movie "Savages" this weekend with Blake notsoLively. Meh.