Open Post: Hosted By A Hatchet-Wielding Homeless Hero
We should all feel a little safer knowing that if we're ever attacked by a crazed racist who thinks he's Jesus, a real-life Jeff Spicoli will magically appear and save the day!
KMPH Fox 26 (via Mediaite) brings us this story from Fresno, CA about a psychopath who claimed that he was the reincarnation of Jesus and was trying to rid the world of black people. The crazy racist bitch targeted a PG&E worker, because he was black and rammed a car into him. The KKK's answer to Jesus pinned the man between his car and a truck and then tried to pull the man out to finish him off. Two women saw the whole thing go down and ran toward the scene to stop Racist Jesus from hurting the man even more. When the women started telling the crazy bitch to leave the man alone, he started attacking one of them and tried to bear hug her to death. Then the dark clouds cleared, lightning flashed and a hitchhiking, hatchet-wielding homeless savior named Kai dropped from the sky to save everyone!
Because this story isn't crazy enough, Kai happened to be the passenger in the racist Jesus' truck. The racist Jesus was giving Kai a ride.
Kai jumped out of the truck, pulled out his hatchet and became the anti-Christ when he started smashing on the racist Jesus. The police showed up, arrested the racist Jesus and the PG&E worker was taken to the hospital where he was treated for two broken legs.
Kai's interview with Fox is perfection from start to finish and is the best thing that has come out of Fox. "Smash, smash, smu-ash!" is the new "Run and tell that!"
And I better see Kai in the next Avengers movie. Thor who?
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*runs into thread* Somebody say "tart"?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Luci can be The Scottish Tart...:::: hands over the crown of Glory:::: ...starts weeping again... Withy.. no fair.. Luci gets all the titles.... stomps foot... !!!!!
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
LOL Whamo, I vote nickles and dimes get the axe next. Loonies and toonies are ok but I'd love to do away with all change. I know, it would cause hella problems...
@Tyroan, I think MK has you beat in that department.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Remember those games when you were little.. A picture hidden within a picture?
Go to Beys concert ad.. Go to the first frame. press stop. . Before they start to tie the corset?
What do you see? Hint...It's not wearing a trenchcoat....Go...
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Submitted by veryoldbat on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 11:17pm.
Wham! I'm the Scottish tart.. Canadian American mixed bitch... BUT IM THE SCOTTISH TART!!!!
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What, I didn't know that, are you overseas now....you Scottish TART! Lol!!
@ Luc...do you live in Scotland? Now I'm all confused, I'm having a hard time keeping track of all you guys.
*scratches head*
Nothin hanging.. Have a pair that are alert and attentive... :)
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Had just one VOB. With too much of everything, of course. Today was a day of penance. lol As MK said, I'm there for the bulges and the half-time Calvin Klein ad. That's all. haha Good to hear Foxxy wasn't too upset. I think they had a good chance (after the power outage). Hope you enjoyed it too. How's it hanging?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:50pm.
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Hey Stooooney:) Actually right at the end of the clip he said he doesn't have a family or at least he's basically dead to them or something like that. For a surfer he sure was dirty though, you'd think that surf and sand would scrub you down but his hands looked filthy.
Wham! I'm the Scottish tart.. Canadian American mixed bitch... BUT IM THE SCOTTISH TART!!!!
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
I don't watch much tv, but I bet I'm the dlisted champion of Watching Biggest Loser While Eating Pizza and Ice Cream.
@ Reason...no kidding, there goes my retirement plan! They were a pain in the butt anyway, I don't have a problem with only nickles. :)
@ Luc....You dirty little Scottish tart you :P
@ VOB...yes I too have seen them 3-4 times but this last time through they really were spectacular. I was really impressed, I mean you kind of expect your old bands not to be the same band you saw as a kid and you go to a show for your own love of nostalgia but DAMN if they didn't blow the doors off that idea, they absolutely kicked ass and not with youthful smashing energy they had but just wonderfully tight playing, great emotion with flashes of that energy but you don't want them to pretend they are kids. All they musicians playing with them were beyond tight. I just can't say enough about them. Foxxy was saying it was the best concert she'd seen!
We were rooting for the 49ers ... And we watched the whole thing. Foxxy was in good spirits today. She loves her football. I was worried that she'd be down... But NO! She has already moved on to next year. How were your parties?
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Howdy VOB, how was your day? Did you stay up for the game last night? I had very little sleep so I was a walking zombie the ENTIRE day. Just getting my second wind now. Natch. ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Luci Belle.. I looked up Melania? Was there a cutting observation on her vacant stare that I missed? I do my best to never look at her.. It's a medusa thing.
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Evening all. Witty Winni Wins... How's everybody...
Wham are you still here? I saw the who three times in my youfff....they are still amazing. Withy? PHM? Snow anyone?
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
So many questions. Why does homeless hitchhiker have what appears to be expensive hiking gear on? Does he just prefer to sleep in the woods rather than get a job? I bet he has a rich yuppie family in like, Colorado or somewhere. And I thought people in California were supposed to be skinny and fresh-looking? An obese lady in a Packers t-shirt isn't at all what I had in mind. Did they catch the racist jesus or did he get away?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Hey Wham, I haven't spoken to you in ages. Alas, we are now but ships passing in the night. Filthy Canadian. x
Hi there Whamo, How you doing tonight? You rolled up all your pennies yet?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hello Reason and hello Luc.. :)
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:44pm.
http://youtu.be/4Y7i1ASCS5o
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Thank you, that was freaking hilarious!
"Pole-i-ceeees" - hahahahah Love him.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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The BY-STANDARDS are all overweight.
Don't care what he claimed, hope that asswipe driver gets his butt kicked in jail and is left there a long time. Good thing the worker is fine.
Kai is excellent, Smash smash Smaaaaa-aash hahahah and MK, ugly topic but you described it like only you could. lol
Good evening!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by mike on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:53pm.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:44pm.
http://youtu.be/4Y7i1ASCS5o
Kai's full interview. NSFW. Dirty bird language but hysterical!!
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Kia is a ROCK STAR baby, I guarantee you as the day is long this isn't the last time we see this dude, He's on minute one of his fifteen. Someone on another youtube clip called him the white Antoine Dawson(what ever the heck "hide yo kids" name was) and shy of being gay(who knows I guess) he has all the same qualities of the "hide you kids" dude.
He's likable in his eccentricity, someone in La LA Land will be able to hook him up with a little gig(or at least a hot shower)
Indeed Kai here will be an overnight sensation, Reality show here he comes!
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:44pm.
http://youtu.be/4Y7i1ASCS5o
Kai's full interview. NSFW. Dirty bird language but hysterical!!
lol! If I knew all hitchhikers were that fun (and if I weren't so anal about my car), I'd pick one up occasionally
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:43pm.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:04pm.
I haven't watched it but I've seen it listed on youtube. I have seen all the documentaries he has done on the Tudors. He is just so passionate about his history..I love it :)
Whamo - this is it?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayeux_Tapestry
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LOL!! YES that's it all right, how the heck did you find it? I was looking for a good 20min for that. It's a heck of a lot longer than I remembered! I saw him talk about this about this maybe even a year ago. 230 feet!
DRAG RACE SPOILER ALERT!!!
Yay they sent home that busted little Serena Cha Cha's Big Lots drag ass home!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
http://youtu.be/4Y7i1ASCS5o
Kai's full interview. NSFW. Dirty bird language but hysterical!!
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:04pm.
I haven't watched it but I've seen it listed on youtube. I have seen all the documentaries he has done on the Tudors. He is just so passionate about his history..I love it :)
Whamo - this is it?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayeux_Tapestry
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Bacon - My thoughts are with you and your family. I've read of Papa Bacons struggles lately and know you've been through a lot lately. ❤
Submitted by Schmoopy on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:19pm.
Yes horses are expensive! Both of mine are almost the same age as I am, but this is the first year I am going broke trying to feed their asses.
I pay more a month in animal food than most people pay in rent. Lol.
Submitted by Paquita on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 6:55pm.
Mike if you are around my suggestions for places to visit are...
Thanks! I was hoping to hear from you. I leave this Friday.
I've been busy with work! But some of the restaurants are in a mall called main entrance - San Agustin and hopefully the weather allows for terrace sitting while sipping beer or plaza 401.
Hope you enjoy it!
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
Kai and I have the same dealer.
Boredasfuckyo - I love that link! So saving it for future reference. Lmao.
PrettyHate - ugh, droughts and the price of hay. It's bringing back all sorts of memories of different mixes too, alfalfa, etc. Whew, love horses, blacksmithing, tack, expenses and all.
Yeah Whamo I knew that...so my love for him is unrequited and ever burning.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:04pm.
MJT, I LOVE David Starkey! He is one of my nerd crushes.
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Aw sorry GG, In my search just now I found out he's openly gay. Lol
MJT, I LOVE David Starkey! He is one of my nerd crushes. Have you seen the series by Simon Schama's A History of Britan on the youtube?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
MJT, I actually think that RIII had bad PR. Like they say, history is written by the winners.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Schmoopy on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:42pm.
We are in a serious drought here. And people from down south came and bought up all of our hay..so it's at a premium now. I just think this guy is helping me out, which I do not want.
And the bitches of the AKC club are the worst. One around here owns a grooming shop and had the nerve to ask me if my 12 yo German Shepherd was pregnant. She caught some sort of skin disease from her grooming hole and kept scratching and biting off all of her beautiful long coat.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:42pm.
@ whamo -no but it sounds cool. Whats the name of the tapestry? I'll google :)
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I have no idea MJT, I saw that one months ago. I'm pretty sure this guy does a few series because I recognise him from basically over the last year or so. I'll try a goggle search myself and see if I can find anything on it.
Submitted by Schmoopy on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:42pm.
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Tell that bitch to show you the receipts or shut her cunt mouth!
and if you have her cell send this picture to her...
http://24.media.tumblr.com/47a490dc3ab07b682e0571deaee495c1/tumblr_mgyc1...
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:25pm.
Whamo.....you ARE the father!
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Oh oh!!! Is it a brown kid with redish hair? :D
@ whamo -no but it sounds cool. Whats the name of the tapestry? I'll google :)
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
PrettyHate - that does sound expensive. I used to show 4-H quarter horses way back when so I don't know what the price of hay would be now. Shop around. I only wish I had earlier when looking for a dog obedience club.
Here's my SOB story, if anyone's interested -
I need some validation, feedback and a shank to fuck this one breeder up with! So I'm trying to get my Bichon basic Obedience training and I thought I would expand my social horizons and join a kennel club. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE. This woman who is in this AKC club dissed my breeder and called her a puppy mill when she is clearly NOT. I have owned all sorts of dogs, purebred and not. I KNOW PUPPY MILLS. She went on to completely insult me, even when I politely but firmly argued with her. GOD, what is with these cunty cunt dog club women. They make Best in Show look like a documentary, not a satire. I should have known better and now I just want to trash talk this bitch to anyone who will listen! ARGHHH! (Rant over)
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:18pm.
@Whamo - this is the one I am watching. I LOVE David Starkey. It's on Netflix...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0431550/
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Yes I've definitely seen this dude on my PBS channel. Have you ever seen him read this tapestry that is about a foot high and it rolls out to about 25 feet or something crazy like that? They are missing about three feet for it to be absolutely complete,the story it tells is amazing.
Bacon I am so sorry about your Dad :( I will for sure keep you & your family in my thoughts.
I think I solved my malware problem since I am less drunk tonight...yay!
And I am *sort* of dating this new guy. I'm not sure how I feel about him yet. I kind of complained about my hay problems to him (like I do to EVERYONE) and the fucker texts me tonight and tells me he found someone who has hay for $1.25 a bale for good horse hay..I am currently paying $6.00 a bale for okay horse hay. I am sorta suspicious.
Whamo.....you ARE the father!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Evenin' everyone. Damn, I miss all the good convos, I see you all were talkin' about vid games. I loved Gran Turismo but I couldn't compete on the expert level. I'd get left in the dust all the time. But ohh, that Subaru Impreza XRX, what a car.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ-QrCFMjs
@Whamo - this is the one I am watching. I LOVE David Starkey. It's on Netflix...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0431550/
I am up to Henry II :)
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:01pm.
Lady Caca trying to be edgy again. I guess she's the only on who doesn't know she's so over.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/04/lady-gaga-monster-ball-tour-pin...
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She really IS a fake insufferable cunt trying to act like she's edgy shit isn't she??? I think my detestment for this bitch started when Piggy Hilton started forcing her down everyone's throat ad nauseam.
"The document also makes note of Gaga's peculiar request for a "manquin [sic] with puffy pink public [sic] hair" that shall be present in her backstage suite.
Because ...?
The famous singer also wants "old rock posters from her favorite artists [like] David Bowie, Queen, Elton John and Billy [sic] Holiday" on the walls of her dressing room as well as fan art from her beloved Monsters, according to Celebuzz."
Anytime someone goes out of their way to mention how much they are fans of "insert legendary or obscure musical/public figure of some sort here" it only makes me think of some annoying ass hipster doing it to be considered knowledgeable about these people, and that they probably don't actually listen to and/or like them? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying people who claim to like them are lying, I just mean the people who say it in a way that they think it makes them smack of superiority and elitism. Like I was listening to such and such, they are sooooooo ahead of their time, yadda,yadda, but never mentions a single song or album that the person they claim to love and/or adore have ever made. Which SHE DOES CONSTANTLY!
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson