This Bitch Again: Donald Trump Sues Bill Maher For $5 Million
When the talking fart bubble out of Jabba the Hutt's ass known as Donald Trump publicly told President Obama that he'd give $5 million to the president's charity of choice if the president produced his college records and shit, Bill Maher jokingly threw a proposition at Trump. On The Tonight Show last month, Bill Maher said that he'd give $5 million to Trump's charity of choice if Trump proved that his mother didn't make him by screwing an orangutan bareback-style. Bill Maher basically said that Trump's hair looks like an orangutan's dirty ass, so he wouldn't be surprised if his biological father was an ape. Makes sense to me!
Donald Trump says that he has coughed up a copy of his birth certificate that says he is the father of Fred Trump, a human person, and Bill Maher hasn't paid up. So Trump filed a lawsuit in L.A. today to get that $5 million. Trump queefed out this statement to Politco:
“I don’t know whether this case will be won or lost, but I felt a major obligation to bring it on behalf of the charities. Bill Maher made an unconditional offer while offer while on The Jay Leno Show and I, without hesitation, accepted his offer and provided him with the appropriate documentation. Prior demands for payment went ignored by Mr. Maher despite the fact that the beneficiaries of this suit will ultimately be the charities […] who would share equally the $5 million — something I am certain they can desperately use."
Trump wants to donate the money to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, American Cancer Society, Hurricane Sandy Victims, March of Dimes and the Police Athletic League. Trump also said on Fox & Friends this morning that he doesn't think Bill Maher was joking when he made the bet. Trump's lawyers couldn't be reached for comment, because their mouths were otherwise occupied with the act of laughing at how he keeps throwing stupid money at them.
In related news, orangutans everywhere have filed a class action lawsuit against Bill Maher for defamation for saying that Donald Trump is part their species. Gloria Allred is representing them and they will win.
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I side with Maher on this. I have a feeling he was being sarcastic when he said what he did about Trumpet Trousers.
Also what does a birth certificate prove in this instance? I thought you need a DNA test or something to show parentage. (I could be totally wrong, I have no idea how a father is determined on a birth certificate).
Maher made the offer, Trump produced the records, so Maher should have to pay the $5 million. End of story.
Why all the Maher hate? Sure he almost certainly sucks as a person but I don't think he's very dishonest about it. Unless there are domestic abuse charges that I don't know about.
Trump's mom got knocked up by an orangutan.
Maher's mom got knocked up by a sloth.
These two should just shake hands, call it a wash, and go home.
Yeah, this is definitely a PR stunt before his Celebrity Apprentice nonsense starts. I agree with MeowMeow, Maher's definitely a misogynist. I saw him on TMZ a few years ago with some bimbos hanging on both arms that were cackling at his lame ass jokes. He strikes me as the type that makes women do some degrading shit in the bedroom. Don't know why...that's just the vibe I get from him :(.
Submitted by winniwins on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 11:18pm.
... I'm like the octomom of double posts!
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Hahahaha
@Sweetas, oh yes. that and worse. I can't with Trump. I *almost* want to side with whoever he's bickering like a little bitch with! Grrrr.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Bill Maher needs to pay up or shut up...both would be best.
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
"Donald Trump, Trash, Trolls" should be on the Donald's tombstone when God forbid he shakes off his mortal coil and his ridiculous hair thingy.
Omg guys. What the hell? I'm like the octomom of double posts!
Trump is an attention whore with hair like freshly spun cotton candy, for sure. But Maher isn't any fucking better. A more misogynistic (probably impotent) cockbag has never existed.
Fuck 'em both.
Submitted by veryoldbat on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 11:09pm.
Maybe a timeout?
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Electric Feel
Feel sorry for the orangutans.
Randee.. Couldn't the judge fine them both for wasting the courts time?
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
I hope that the judge, after he or she calls the case of Ass No. 1 v. Ass No. 2, tosses it out with an admonishment at both of them for being prats.
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Electric Feel
Luci.. my mistake... That's is. Melania in the middle.
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Hmm, looking at Trump's birth certificate, I notice his mother's name is Mary Macleod. Veddy interesting....
Is anyone really surprised that Trump doesn't understand the concept of sarcasm? On another note, I knew it was too good to be true that this asshat would just go away. He embarrassed the shit out of himself on Twitter on election night which made me think he finally went into a bunker with Victoria Jackson and finally let the rest of us live in relative peace but nope. Fuckwad is still around.
Douche doesn't even begin to describe Trump.
Trump is one of the biggest tight asses around, Been broke how many times?, If he was as rich as he says he wouldn't be doing reality tv. He has turned into a media slut.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:40pm.
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*motorboats Lucy♡*
Can't pick sides, they all sound like nasty griping bitches.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Likening orangutans to Donald Trump is as cruel as it gets. The poor things have to suffer the loss of their habitat and the threat of extinction, and now this? Cruel.
One of these things is not like the oth...uh...nevamind.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:36pm.
I thought that was her in the middle
Hahaha
Hey ♡
Submitted by winniwins on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:34pm.
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Congratulations, in all my time on the D I have never seen a NINE post, that has to be a record! Has anyone else seen anything like this before?
Wow!!!
winni you drunk, girl.
OH MY FUCKING GOD, GROW UP!!!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by misslainey on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:34pm.
So, Trump pulled out his birth certiicate to prove his father is a human man and not an ape named Cornelius. Well, gosh darn, he sure showed Maher, didn't he
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LMAO yeah, do you want to be on the winning side of that argument?
Winniwins? hehehe
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:32pm.
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I thought that was her in the middle just from the fact she's had to live with him all this time. #somean
Heya!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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So, Trump pulled out his birth certiicate to prove his father is a human man and not an ape named Cornelius. Well, gosh darn, he sure showed Maher, didn't he?
*sits with P.T Bull.
Bill Maher is a pathetic little man who wears far too much make-up and says far more reprehensible things than Trump. It's about time his mouth got him in trouble. Pay up.
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Has anyone seen Melania Trump's face lately.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:20pm.
He just tries to get his name in the press before a new season of "Celebrity Apprentice" starts.
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Ah. Makes sense now. He was squished by Obama's reelection, jumping on the gun controversy is way to dangerous, classism is out.... Maher is the perfect putz. Not too dangerous but well hated by all.
More proof Trump stopped having sex a long time ago. Makes you wonder who his wife is getting it on with...
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Submitted by crazyinjapan on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:00pm.
I'm not surprised that Maher is a bet welcher, but I am surprised that Trump was birthed from humans.
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ahahahahahaaaa
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:03pm.
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They're all an unpleasant bunch. We need some hotness back in here. NOW! Thanks for the butt shot, seems that'll have to do for now. ha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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UGH, hate that ugly petty bitch Trump!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I call rosie the same thing and I am not going to apologize, and I consider it true. She provokes it by insulting others and calling them idiots, losers, phonies...
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Submitted by motherslittlehelper on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 9:35pm.
Did he file the lawsuit before or after he apologized to Rosie O'Donnell for repeatedly calling her an idiot/loser/phony, etc.,
Maher is a dolt who talks out of his ass. I know his word means nothing, and its amusing to see trump call him out.
I'm not surprised that Maher is a bet welcher, but I am surprised that Trump was birthed from humans.
It still blows my mind that Maher dated Supahead (and vice versa).
Bitches with too much money are scary!
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Don't start none and the'll be none.