They Gon’ Catch Me Ridin’ Dirty

If you’re impressed with this, you should see his reverse cowgirl (right, Ushrrr?). While giving us the thug lite version of Mary Stuart Masterson in Bad Girls, Justin Bieber went horseback riding with his friends in North Hollywood, CA yesterday afternoon. Doesn’t it seem like it was just yesterday when he was riding a plastic horsey in front of a supermarket (“That’s because he was doing that yesterday.” – you) and here he is riding an actual big boy horse. They must put growing serum in sizzurp! Because….

TMZ says that there’s new pictures making the rounds of The Lesbeaver smoking a joint and in some of those pictures there’s a large bottle of codeine and a double cup of Lil Wayne’s beverage of choice sizzurp (codeine, sodie pop and a Jolly Rancher) on the table. Bieber’s sipping from the double cup in one of the pictures. A source type tells TMZ that Bieber doesn’t ever get high on sizzurp, so there must’ve been something else in that double cup. But the other pictures do show the Biebs clearly sucking on the good shit. The source says that many people close to Biebs think that his friends, Lil Twist and Lil Za, are tainting his innocence and leading him into the hood rat stuff way of life.

Sizzurp, really? Justin Bieber probably overdoses and passes out when he sucks on a Hall’s for too long, so I can only imagine what he’s like when he takes a sip of sizzurp. A drunk toddler is not the look. I bet those motherfuckers don’t even give him any sizzurp. They just give him a double cup of grape Fanta with a drop of baby Tylenol in it. He takes one sip and is like, “DAYUM, this shit is strong! I’m already fucked up!” Like they’re really going to waste sizzurp on his lightweight ass.

And we have Vanilla Ice to blame for this, because this is Vanilla Ice all over again. Damn you, Vanilla Ice, for selling franchises of your life to Canada!

Here’s more of the Biebs making faces like a first time bottom taking a nine incher while horseback riding yesterday.