The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For February 1st!
These His & Her's - Weight Reduction Body Suits can be yours for only $19.95 plus a %@#^ load of shipping charges.
(note: side effects may include higher blood pressure, headaches & dizziness, change of hair color, increased head size, Zombie like drooling, impotence, spitting blood, loss of consciousness & eye balls popping out. Do not fart while wearing suit or operate any heavy machinery. To be safe, any machinery. - Homeless J
Runners-up:
The Real Housewives of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. - PeggyOlson
This month's Snooki and JWOWW centerfold is Playboy's lowest selling issue to date. - iwouldmarrymichaelk
America was sad to see how badly Pebbles from "The Flinstones" and Sally from "Davy and Goliath" had aged on Cartoon Network's "Celebrity Rehab". - turnelbup
via Poorly Dressed
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After even New York, BuckWild, and Pumpkin turned their noses up when approached about participating in the 2014 auditions for Kanye Kartrashian's VH1 reality dating show ("I have standards - this mess is too low class" - former Rock of Love contestant), the producers finally agreed to let Kanye's former beard and her two sisters audition. It's now down to the final two after Kim's 2013 fake-pregnancy-for-cash scam was revealed.
"Dammit Janet. I made you Secretary of Homeland Security so those records wouldn't get scratched ... give my twenty ... and then start the Rocky Horror Picture Show album again!"
"I'm sorry Mr. President, First Lady, but Anderson Cooper has decided to go straight ... home. Yes, it's another Anderson 360."
Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carrey gear up for another bitch fight on American Idol.
"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men
Feeling left out, Kourtney and Khloe finally saw Kim's butt surgeon.
A day without sunshine is like night.
"Ok, Mr. President, First Lady, I think we are prepared if they request the "Time Warp" & "Sweet Transvestite". But I think we should go through 'The Sword of Damocles' song once again."
(The Inaugural 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' rehearsal)
"I'm sorry Mr. President, Firsty Lady, but they are expecting a waltz at the Inaugural, not 'The Monster Mash."
Move over Eva Gabor and Raquel Welch! Niki Minaj and Katy Perry collaborate on a fabulous new wig line.
I guess Shonda Rimes finally agreed to let Izzie and George give an update to their dead story lines on Grey's Anatomy.
"I'm Rihanna Seacrest ...
And This Is ... Amazon Idol"
Go back to Party City where you belong!
"Dancing With The S.A.R.S - 2013 Auditions"
Nicki Minaj finally found her perfect match.
"Dude, what do you think about the two chicks I lined up for us tonight?"
"Um, you wouldn't happen to have any crack to smoke, would you?"
"They say our love won't pay the debt
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent"
"I guess that's so, and we can't legalize pot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got"
Babe ...
(Michele) I got you babe!
(Obama) I got you babe!
"Hey, close the F'n door - Obama-Cher going down here, man!"
Basement Baby and Freddy Kreuger had a Single Ladies Dance off! #we can sing and dance live.
Nightmare on Elm Street: pulling oil.
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Snooki and JWOWW have never looked better!
Kim and Courtney...SANS FARDS.
Lindsay's 'Walking Flu' viruses strut their stuff.
"Hey man. "I have these two girls here that I want you to meet."
"Oh yea. What do they look like?"
"Have you seen the movie Poltergeist?"
Anatomically correct diagram of how to conceive your very own baby Kimye. Poses must be held for at least 20 minutes at a time, no farting.
"These are our massage therapist? What kind of place is this?"
"OK. Do you want the one on the right or the one on the left?"
"Dude, I'm fuckin' scared."
"Mr. Stevie Wonder and Mr. Ray Charles. Your dates are here."
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AI on Tour: Nicki and Mariah present The Face-Off
"Hello sir. These are the two ladies from the nuclear plant"
Submitted by jacknjolene on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 9:46pm.
damnit!! i logged on just now to say that but your ass beat me to it lol!!
Phaedra with her Donkey Booty and Kenya with her Stallion Booty decide the only way to solve shit is a good ol' fashion Ass-Off. Are YOU ready?
says jack and jolene
Pink and Blondie had a race
all around the pillow case
Pink fell and broker her face
and Blondie won he race
Pink said it was no fair
cuz Blondie was a douche
Gumby and Pokey take Las Vegas
why are we still so fixated on the Hilton Sisters
Lady Gaga:: in breaking news Nikki Minaj and Mariah Carey are not amused.
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Kim and Kourtney go sans fard in the E! promo for their new show: Kim and Kourtney take over your soul
michael K and Perez do a face off ...
the olsen twins. the end.
Oh God. Phaedra's Donkey Booty video is worse than I thought (I am glad Kim got another gig).
Beyonce is a professional and not taking chances! Not one, but two backups of herself for Sunday!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
According to legend, these blessed children got the best of both worlds. Kim's body and Kanye's fac.... well... they got Kim's body.
Laminate floors sure beat wooden floors in terms of durability and the withstanding of pure ugliness!
Kim Kardashian's and Kanye West's twins were revealed today to be two of the four whoremen of the apocalypse.
Randy and Brian decided to go with team Nicki
Nicki Minaj's sex tape "Roman Zolanski in Paris" is more disturbing than anything else.
2030: Nicki Minaj quickly shows Blue Ivy the ropes of show-biz.
The Ommpa Lommpa's are not aging well!
------------------------------------------------
You might find The Hoff in a bar
or in Germany with a guitar.
He might do a dance
in shiny black pants,
but at least he can talk to his car.
Despite Beyonce's misgivings, Blue Ivy and Kanye & Kim's daughter KanKim grew up the best of friends and later produced inspiring motivational videos together.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
I know they are both named Joan. Which one is Rivers and which one is Van Ark?
Responding to press backlash, the Kardashians attempt to look more human. Success!
-or, the opposite-
Pimp Mama Kris and minion revert to their true selves to summon their dark lord.
Twins: Gonorrhea and Syphilis, brought to you by a drug induced night arranged by Mama Kris and birth from the Kimmy K's baby cave.
DNA donor believed to be Kan-gay West.