Monday, February 4th 2013

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For February 1st!

These His & Her's - Weight Reduction Body Suits can be yours for only $19.95 plus a %@#^ load of shipping charges.

(note: side effects may include higher blood pressure, headaches & dizziness, change of hair color, increased head size, Zombie like drooling, impotence, spitting blood, loss of consciousness & eye balls popping out. Do not fart while wearing suit or operate any heavy machinery. To be safe, any machinery. - Homeless J

Runners-up:

The Real Housewives of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. - PeggyOlson

This month's Snooki and JWOWW centerfold is Playboy's lowest selling issue to date. - iwouldmarrymichaelk

America was sad to see how badly Pebbles from "The Flinstones" and Sally from "Davy and Goliath" had aged on Cartoon Network's "Celebrity Rehab". - turnelbup

via Poorly Dressed

Posted by: Michael K
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Mani6's picture
Submitted by Mani6 on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 6:14pm.

Congrats to the winners and to the losers don't be disappointed...there were many other hilarious entries and I know many people enjoy reading them as well.

............................................

If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman

turnelbup's picture
Submitted by turnelbup on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 11:28am.

Thanks, MK! And congrats winners, funny funny stuff!

*************
"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles

Deb's picture
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 11:18am.

Congrats winnahs! Good ones!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 9:10pm.

"The power just went off ... go check the breaker room!'

"WTF!

"Jay-Z, Beyonce? Did you guys lip-sync again?"

"Hey, it was destiny's child!"

"Ok, Blue Ivy, read my lips, back away from the fuse panel right now, honey!"

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 7:37pm.

"So that was Gag .. nam .. stye ... ak ke ka, gulp slurp gulp ... style? I'm surry, I just thew up in my moth ... continue."

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 6:59pm.

All the hype about the Harbaugh brothers - seriously pissed off the Highbrow sisters, who will face-off (literally) as rival cheer leaders.

fuzzy_wuzzy's picture
Submitted by fuzzy_wuzzy on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 2:16pm.

Those Teen Moms really have a hard time. Not only do they have to worry about their pizza faces, but also their "How I Got My Body Back" People covers.

Aunt B's picture
Submitted by Aunt B on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 8:47am.

After The Thing and Freddie Krueger decide to come out as a gayelle couple they start a dance troupe for less than limber, very butch girls.

jellin76's picture
Submitted by jellin76 on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 1:23am.

"All the single lepers, all the single lepers,
all the single lepers..."

(billy5276 must have read my mind)

billy5276's picture
Submitted by billy5276 on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 11:39pm.

All the shingle ladies, all the shingle ladies
All the shingle ladies, all the shingle ladies
All the shingle ladies, all the shingle ladies
All the shingle ladies

Kiwi chicklet's picture
Submitted by Kiwi chicklet on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 11:28pm.

Against all advice from Barbie, even after their gender reasignments at the factory, Ken and his housemate Chad refused to completely give up the versatility that clip-on hair gave their look.

Stan Hooper's picture
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 11:09pm.

Hard to believe it! No one has put a ring on these two classic beauty's fingers!

=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by bgo2000 on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 10:46pm.

The Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj collaboration is going swimmingly.

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 7:39pm.

"Cut, Cut ... I asked for Kate Upton, for this Super Bowel commercial, and they send me Cat Up Chuck?"

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 8:54pm.

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you both this, but the tests have come back, and you both tested positive for Beverly Hills' Cop Herpes Simplex 10."

Mani6's picture
Submitted by Mani6 on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 8:39pm.

Hell...I was drunk...in Atlantic City...they advertised a tag team Wilma and Betty...how could I refuse!

............................................

If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 8:36pm.

"I'm sorry, this is the 'X Nuclear Factory demolition' - not the 'X Factor auditions'. You will both have to leave now!"

Submitted by bkoz on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 8:27pm.

You Wanna Be on Top? ANTM begins casting new season.

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 8:15pm.

Thank God for re-writes - 'Slither Linings Playbook' would never have gotten Oscar attention.

turnelbup's picture
Submitted by turnelbup on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 8:04pm.

America was sad to see how badly Pebbles from "The Flinstones" and Sally from "Davy and Goliath" had aged on Cartoon Network's "Celebrity Rehab".

*************
"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 7:57pm.

(Alicia Keys) - "Obama's on fire. Obama's on fire. I mean, really, the Obama's are on fire ... call 911 ...!!!"

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 7:25pm.

"Scotty, screw the ... dylithium crystals, we need, ... more power ... Uhura & I ... must ... do ... the Time Warp ... again!"

LargeMarge's picture
Submitted by LargeMarge on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 4:19pm.

Betty & Wilma Flintstone dressing as the Barfdashians.

crankenstein's picture
Submitted by crankenstein on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 3:57pm.

yawn, another picture of lindsey out on the town with her mom.

listedD's picture
Submitted by listedD on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 10:04pm.

OMG!!! I would never tap that. Did you see how ugly their toes are???

ditquoi's picture
Submitted by ditquoi on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 2:14pm.

I can't tell if this is racist or not.

Submitted by megalolzz on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 1:49pm.

The Kardashian Family: Beneath the Make-Up

Submitted by Sluttyjesus on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 1:31pm.

Nikki Minaj and Lil Kim signed on to be the new "faces of meth"

Submitted by PhaQ Bitch on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 1:30pm.

And here's a sneak peek at Taylor Swift's back up dancers for her "Forever Alone" tour!

Sweetas's picture
Submitted by Sweetas on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 1:24pm.

Welcome to the first annual Kim Kardashian fan club meeting.

Submitted by Tinkerkiller on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 1:43pm.

Christina and Lil Kim give photogs their best "eat shit and die look" when they catch them practicing Lady Marmalade without full makeup.

Submitted by Tinkerkiller on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 1:00pm.

Even after leaving the show, we know Kim Zolciak and her daughter are #TEAMSTALLIONBOOTY!!!

Submitted by Tinkerkiller on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:53pm.

Sharon Osbourne shares her instagram with the viewers of The Talk of Kelly and Lady Gaga going "toe to toe" again!

chocopuffs's picture
Submitted by chocopuffs on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 11:29am.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies!¡! Beyonce getting ready for her encore at the super bowl!¡!!

Edna -E- Mode's picture
Submitted by Edna -E- Mode on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:50pm.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye are such know-it-all diva douches, they just "had to" get all up in Kim's womb and show their fetus How It's Done.

Submitted by funkynorthphilly on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 10:36am.

Ann Coulter unveils her likeness at Madame Tussauds.

christine the hoff's picture
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 10:05am.

When the Dr. said I had a new strain of herpes, he wasn't kidding!

------------------------------------------------
You might find The Hoff in a bar
or in Germany with a guitar.
He might do a dance
in shiny black pants,
but at least he can talk to his car.

christine the hoff's picture
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 10:03am.

When the police put a blacklight in Lohan's toilet.

------------------------------------------------
You might find The Hoff in a bar
or in Germany with a guitar.
He might do a dance
in shiny black pants,
but at least he can talk to his car.

hellobitchy's picture
Submitted by hellobitchy on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 9:40am.

After their cover shoot for The Source sans fard, Nikki and Lil Kim learned they had a lot more in common and decided to squash their beef.

Beccarella's picture
Submitted by Beccarella on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 9:04am.

Donkey Booties, too - by Phine Bodies' own Phaedra & Apollo

PeggyOlson's picture
Submitted by PeggyOlson on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 8:44am.

The Real Housewives of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men

BitMe's picture
Submitted by BitMe on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 7:59am.

Pimp mamma Kris had lots of explaining to do when this portrait of Kourtney and Kim was discovered in her attic.

OhLordNotAgain's picture
Submitted by OhLordNotAgain on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 7:16am.

You see folks this is what happens when the "magic of television" is switched off: Niki and Mariah in their true forms minus the effects of the smoke and mirrors.

Submitted by Bretonicus on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 6:55am.

Tracy Anderson would later regret the decision to allow Pizza Face Diaz to 'train the trainer'.

Submitted by hanmol on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 6:13am.

We're not sure how but Jimmy Savile is involved.

Submitted by sdc30161 on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 5:15am.

"Ms. Minaj, as the legal department has repeatedly told you, your contract prevents you from appearing on both 'American Idol' and 'RuPaul's Drag Race.'"

Jintess's picture
Submitted by Jintess on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 2:19am.

What the horsemeat BK ads looked like. The left was baconetta and the right was topmewithcheese.

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sun, 02/03/2013 - 7:11pm.

"Arr-re yu both on acid ... or is acid on both of yuu?" (Simon Cowell)

Homeless J's picture
Submitted by Homeless J on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 6:50pm.

These His & Her's - Weight Reduction Body Suits can be yours for only $19.95 plus a %@#^ load of shipping charges.

(note: side effects may include higher blood pressure, headaches & dizziness, change of hair color, increased head size, Zombie like drooling, impotence, spitting blood, loss of consciousness & eye balls popping out. Do not fart while wearing suit or operate any heavy machinery. To be safe, any machinery.

Submitted by justin.j.church on Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:43am.

Nicki Minaj and Lil' Kim have finally squashed their beef and are working on an album together. The sample cover of "Freaky Friday" still needs some work.

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