Brings New Meaning To "I'm So Hungry I Could Eat A..."
After weeks of barfing out a million denials covered in zesty sauce, Burger King finally admitted that if you ate a Whopper at one of their fine gourmet establishments in the UK, then you might've chewed on a ground up piece of the Black Stallion's nipple. Sarah Jessica Parker just stared in horror at her half-eaten Whopper and cried out "AUNTIE?!!!" before dropping it and galloping away.
When the grocery chain Tesco and a bunch of other companies found out that they sold ground beef with horse and pig in it, Burger King shook their heads no and swore on a bushel of the King's sweet potato curly pubes that all of their burgers are made with 100% beef. Even though BK's meat came from the same plant where the horse-tainted beef was found, they still denied it. But then BK did their own DNA tests and found out that yup, there's Seabiscuit in that shit. They pushed out this statement to The Guardian:
"Our independent DNA test results on product taken from restaurants were negative for any equine DNA. However, four samples recently taken from the Silvercrest plant have shown the presence of very small trace levels of equine DNA. Within the last 36 hours, we have established that Silvercrest used a small percentage of beef imported from a non-approved supplier in Poland. They promised to deliver 100% British and Irish beef patties and have not done so. This is a clear violation of our specifications, and we have terminated our relationship with them.
[The company was] deeply troubled by the findings of our investigation and apologise to our guests, who trust us to source only the highest quality 100% beef burgers. Our supplier has failed us and in turn we have failed you".
"The highest quality 100% beef burgers"? That is some charbroiled bullshittery right there. Who expects Kobe beef-like hamburgers when they go to Burger King? You know that when you go to BK you're going to get the wrong stuff between two buns (Side note: "Wrong stuff between two buns" is what's written on my medical file every time I go to the free clinic for a prostate check). I'm surprised that there's more than just horse meat in there. I eat too much fast food and every time I eat that crap, I know that I probably just ate a patty made of worms, subway rats and coagulated chicken jelly. They're allowed to call it beef because they get a cow to queef on it before they ship it off. I still eat it, it's still delicious and it still makes my butt cry for mercy on the toilet.
So yeah, if you've eaten fast food, then I'm sure you've wrapped your mouth around a big piece of horse meat before. You sick Equus bitch.
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Submitted by misslainey on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:43pm.
Submitted by Mrs_Fox on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:23pm.
Do you find it easy being frutarian? I did raw vegan for a year, but fiund it hard to stick with in winter. However. It was the best I've ever felt in my life.
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I didn't find it easy at first, because I don't live in a place that caters to that lifestyle, but I persevered because I'm serious about my health.
When I used to eat meat I would eat a fast food burger every now and then, and I could tell the difference between beef, and some other meat. It probably was horse,sheep,deer pig, whatever. I agree with others; If you are eating meat, what difference does it make if it's horse or cow ?
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:57pm.
not sure what anyone is grossed out about, "you people" eat cow, you eat horse, what's the fucking difference?
:P
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ZACKLY!
Four legs, hooves, two ears...one moos and the other neighs. What's the diff?
Many Indians feel the same way about us eating cow as we feel about others eating horse or dog.
Doesn't it all taste like chicken, anyway?
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Dark-sided!
not sure what anyone is grossed out about, "you people" eat cow, you eat horse, what's the fucking difference?
:P
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
@ GG - a friend of mine had a 9 month work stint in England during the 90's and she isn't allowed to donate either. I can't either since I had hepatitis in my 20's. Unfortunate, since the whole needles and blood thing never bothered me.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:46pm.
Hiya SDR! Jellys that you have ALL THAT LAND to plant food in.
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Hiya GG! Don't be jealous. It's not that much. The garden is up to 3/4 acre this year and the bees are scheduled to arrive in April. Come help me!!!
I happily eat meat. But I'm glad I don't eat BK.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Horse is more expensive than cow. These must have been sick horses.
Poland also had a scandal last year where they were selling sausage made with road salt, which is carcinogenic.
Submitted by kiiwiih on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:33pm.
Not trying to be ignorant or anything but is it really considered bad eating horses in the US and UK? It's not like I eat horse or foal meat everyday but it's been known to happen. Good meat too. I can't see the difference between horse, lamb or cow.
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Not sure about the UK, but for the most part, horsemeat is anathema in the US.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:40pm.
I don't think I'd eat horse because they're outside in my pasture but I don't mind if people eat horses. Meat is meat. I'd rather a horse be sent to humane slaughter than left to starve in a dirt pasture. The horse packing plant here in Texas was closed a few years back and guess where the horses go now?
Mexico.
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Agreed, but there isn't anything humane about the slaughtering of horses in Mexico; it is barbaric.
There isn't a plant in the United States any longer thanks to PETA.
Also, horses are not raised to be a meat product like cows so the horses that end up in a meat product are either; old, sick, broken down, or unwanted. That isn't the type of meat that any human would want to consume.
Waaaaayyy back in the early 90's when I used to eat meat we lived in England. They had that mad cow scare. Now I can't give blood. Came home and was going to donate some then they said I couldn't. The guy saw that I was bummed about it ( I was close to my gallon pin) so he gave me a biohazard sticker for my pains.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Hiya SDR! Jellys that you have ALL THAT LAND to plant food in.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I love how people distinguish between different kinds of carcass like some are better or more normal than others. You're eating someone's body, does it really matter to you whose it is? Bring on the Dothraki Whopper!
Still better than what's in a McRib
Fast food is gross. In other news, the sky is still blue and Elton John is still gay.
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I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. - Michael K 1/16/13
We eat horse meat in Germany. My dad loves that shit and tried to trick me into eating some at least once a year . I never did. Deer, bunnies , wild boars are fair game, too. So eat the horse and stfu.
Submitted by Mrs_Fox on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:23pm.
Do you find it easy being frutarian? I did raw vegan for a year, but fiund it hard to stick with in winter. However. It was the best I've ever felt in my life.
I eat Whataburger when I want fast food. It's not a weekly occurrence so I think I'm ok. All this nasty stuff with our food supply is slowly turning me vegetarian though. We broke new ground this week for an even bigger garden.
I don't think I'd eat horse because they're outside in my pasture but I don't mind if people eat horses. Meat is meat. I'd rather a horse be sent to humane slaughter than left to starve in a dirt pasture. The horse packing plant here in Texas was closed a few years back and guess where the horses go now?
Mexico.
The deceptive labeling bothers me much more. If I want to eat giraffe, then there better be 100% giraffe in my meat.
Lol @ Dawn Davenport
Hey - you got your chacha heels on?
*smirks at carnivores*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Well I be damned. There's a good side to having celiac disease after all! I quit all restaurants after my diagnosis, even expensive joints that claim they have gluten free meals, because the chance of my meal getting cross contaminated with gluten during handling is just too great. So glad restaurants are in my past--good riddance.
Well, I'll bet the neighbors are just LOVIN' this!--Mama.
This is the stuff of night mares! Hopefully BK will be saddled with a lawsuit, and they'll really have to pony up!
I'd rather eat a horse than a cow. Horses are shifty, I don't trust them. I like cows, you know where you stand with a cow.
HA Ha Ha!
There are too many witty folks around here today! I'm dying from LOLing.
Not trying to be ignorant or anything but is it really considered bad eating horses in the US and UK? It's not like I eat horse or foal meat everyday but it's been known to happen. Good meat too. I can't see the difference between horse, lamb or cow.
*horrified face*
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Stopped eating pork at age 16, and became a vegetarian at age 23. Never missed it.
At any rate, during WW2, the only meat my grandfather was able to find was horse meat, so my grandmother fried it and smothered it with gravy. However, knowing you're eating horse is totally different than getting horse meat surprise.
It's a good thing they didn't check for OTHER types of DNA in that shit... Soylent Green anyone?
Submitted by M.E.: "I'm so glad I don't eat fast food."
It's funny, but the last few times I took the kids to McD's (grandma sends them Arch cards), I didn't eat any. Used to LOVE Big Macs, but lost the taste for it. Even the few fries I ate kind of grossed me out. I'm not opposed to eating fast food once in a while, but it just doesn't taste good to me anymore.
Still love those cheddar and sour cream Pringles, though...
If you eat that shit you deserve what you get.
I haven't eaten fast food in almost 7 years. Don't miss it at all.
However, I did eat goat at a tailgate party.
I don't have any problem with people eating horses, it's no different than eating cows. But I do have a problem with an establishment serving horse and telling the customer it's something else.
It's not okay to deceive people that way--fast food, gourmet, soup kitchen, it doesn't matter.
I've eaten horse in France. Admittedly, I KNEW what I was eating in that case.
reminds me of an All in the Family episode when Mike and Gloria pass off horse as beef to Awwchee and Edith
Edith: Horse??
Gloria: What difference does it make
Edith: Well...The Queen rides a horse
Gloria: It's meat just like beef or chicken
Edith: But the Queen don't ride a chicken
And this is one of the reasons I stopped eating meat and animal excretion; I don't trust these people where my food is concern! If I can't peel it, wash it and then eat it, I don't want it. Fruitarian for life.
Hahahahha... me and a friend laughed so hard when the story about Tesco first came out.
I love meat, and horse is really good. Also elk and reindeer. Mmmm...
I'm so glad I don't eat fast food.
MK, this post is liquid gold. I do eat meat. But not that fast food meat. No siree. (However, when I was pregnant, I turned into a McDonald's whore, due to all the other vices I gave up......
a hungry hooker can't win. (especially a broke one.)
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
"Sarah Jessica Parker just stared in horror at her half-eaten Whopper and cried out "AUNTIE?!!!" before dropping it and galloping away."
haahahahahahahaha! i mean neigh!!!!!!!
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Horse meat is lean and popular in France. I'm going to a restaurant that specializes in buffalo this weekend. It's better than filet mignon. Well, at least the way they do it.
Gross. Reason # 48947958749 I do NOT eat Fast Food.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
BK was my first non-babysitting job. Just the smell driving past one of them gives me bad flashbacks.
I would go to BK, if I had to use the bathroom really badly.
And whether or not horse meat is eaten all over the world, if you claim the burgers are 100% beef, then THAT is what they should be.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
This is hysterical.
So people can eat cows, pigs,chickens and a barrage of other animals but they can't eat horse? why? because it's cute? it makes people feel bad?
Why can people feel bad for horses but not feel bad for a cow?
Hahahaha. We had this discussion with the kids. Like, why it's acceptable to them to eat a pig but not a horse. Or a chicken but not a pigeon. It's pretty arbitrary, actually.
The only objection I have is that people thought they were eating beef.
Sarah Jessica Parker just stared in horror at her half-eaten Whopper and cried out "AUNTIE?!!!" before dropping it and galloping away.
LOL!!!!!!!
I don't even want to think about what's passing as 'meat' in McVomit's burgers...
If the horsemeat wasn't tainted or rotten, what's the problem? People eat horsemeat all over the world.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.