Brings New Meaning To "I'm So Hungry I Could Eat A..."
After weeks of barfing out a million denials covered in zesty sauce, Burger King finally admitted that if you ate a Whopper at one of their fine gourmet establishments in the UK, then you might've chewed on a ground up piece of the Black Stallion's nipple. Sarah Jessica Parker just stared in horror at her half-eaten Whopper and cried out "AUNTIE?!!!" before dropping it and galloping away.
When the grocery chain Tesco and a bunch of other companies found out that they sold ground beef with horse and pig in it, Burger King shook their heads no and swore on a bushel of the King's sweet potato curly pubes that all of their burgers are made with 100% beef. Even though BK's meat came from the same plant where the horse-tainted beef was found, they still denied it. But then BK did their own DNA tests and found out that yup, there's Seabiscuit in that shit. They pushed out this statement to The Guardian:
"Our independent DNA test results on product taken from restaurants were negative for any equine DNA. However, four samples recently taken from the Silvercrest plant have shown the presence of very small trace levels of equine DNA. Within the last 36 hours, we have established that Silvercrest used a small percentage of beef imported from a non-approved supplier in Poland. They promised to deliver 100% British and Irish beef patties and have not done so. This is a clear violation of our specifications, and we have terminated our relationship with them.
[The company was] deeply troubled by the findings of our investigation and apologise to our guests, who trust us to source only the highest quality 100% beef burgers. Our supplier has failed us and in turn we have failed you".
"The highest quality 100% beef burgers"? That is some charbroiled bullshittery right there. Who expects Kobe beef-like hamburgers when they go to Burger King? You know that when you go to BK you're going to get the wrong stuff between two buns (Side note: "Wrong stuff between two buns" is what's written on my medical file every time I go to the free clinic for a prostate check). I'm surprised that there's more than just horse meat in there. I eat too much fast food and every time I eat that crap, I know that I probably just ate a patty made of worms, subway rats and coagulated chicken jelly. They're allowed to call it beef because they get a cow to queef on it before they ship it off. I still eat it, it's still delicious and it still makes my butt cry for mercy on the toilet.
So yeah, if you've eaten fast food, then I'm sure you've wrapped your mouth around a big piece of horse meat before. You sick Equus bitch.
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"Sarah Jessica Parker just stared in horror at her half-eaten Whopper and cried out "AUNTIE?!!!" before dropping it and galloping away."
oh shit i just choked on my water!
we were having a convo the other day over lunch with my fam and my dad was telling us about how horse meat was available in the 70's and he used to work out with a guy that ate it. my sister, a vegan, was mortified. i wanted to barf. my husband yelled WHAT??!! apparently we had never heard of people eating horses before. it's sick!
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Noooooooooooooooooooooo, BK! I always have your back for having the Veggie Burger on your menu :(
Sorry, but horses are pets. I've read that in some countries people have to really LOCK UP & HIDE their horses because people will steal them and sell them to slaughter. I worry about that happening here, too.
Horse, cow, if you fry it, I will eat it.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
BK is fucking disgusting.
But, now I'm craving a Tommy's Burger.
The first of the only two times I've had an e. coli poisoning was from a BK burger. I haven't gone there since, and that was 20 years ago. I've no doubt they knew what they were serving. I hope they get sued.
Meh, I've eaten chicken, beef, pork, buffalo, duck, lamb, rattle snake, ostrich, deer, moose, kangaroo, alligator, elk, fish, lobster, eel, shark, clams, oysters, muscles, scallops, shrimp, crickets, scorpion, ants, I feel like I could handle horse.
Maybe because I have been honored to spend the best years of my life with horses I have a different perspective.
The horse was not meant to eat (except in dire circumstances).
The horse is man's noblest and finest companion.
He is entrusted with our lives and our safety.
He is intelligent, willing and loyal.
He represents the finest in God's handiwork.
I could no more eat a horse than eat one of my children but that is just me and I am not starving.
idiots drive me: Polish/Ukrainian food is DELICIOUS.
Became a pescatarian just this past April. Don't miss meat (other than fish). Wasn't a huge fan of it and was too picky about what I did eat. I still eat eggs and dairy (some) though. Its hard to trust what you're buying in the store or anywhere else anymore.
*eats moose lips hotdogs*
*bites horse burger*
YUM!
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
neigh..neigh
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Most of the world eats horse, it's lean & tasty meat. Only English speakers are retarded about it, acting like it's so much worse to eat a horse than a cow.
Thanks Christianity, for another winner on your list..OH yeah, it's all because some pope hundreds of years ago decided that he didn't like the pagans eating horse so he stigmatized it.
Food is food, people are starving somewhere else..stop being a prissy little cunt about it.
"No intelligent life form writes in caps lock" ~GOD
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and of FUCkING COURSE the Brits point he finger at the Poles, who the fucking hate having in their country. I hever felt more unwelcome, more conspicuous, or more in danger than in I did speaking a Slavic language in London. I bet once the hoopla dies down, they'll find that BK knew what they were doing, and the Poles will simply be the scapegoat, since W Europe doesn't like the food competition from Poland and Ukraine.
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What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
Meat is meat. I guess if I didn't know I eating random meat, and was fed it, it would be a big deal, but horse meat is very common throughout the world, including Europe. Its not like it violated social norms, like there being dog meat in the burgers or something.
Elk and buffalo are fucking delicious.
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What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
*skips in a circle biting thumb at meat-eaters and drive-through dependents*
DID YOU MOTHERFUCKING POOP IN MY FOOD? YOU BITCH! *THROWS TAMPON*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6PPzUW2PIY
Submitted by Captain Howdy on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:52pm.
Horse is more expensive than cow. These must have been sick horses.
Poland also had a scandal last year where they were selling sausage made with road salt, which is carcinogenic.
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Those were old racing horses that were injured/ sick etc. that went into those burgers. They were also pumped full of various steroids and antibiotics and whatever else it is that is put into them, as horses aren't meant for human consumption. I also read in the papers that those horses had been severely abused by the Poles before being murdered. There's actually a significant risk of developing cancer following the consumption of that contaminated meat, as horse medicine is carcinogenic in humans.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
BOOYEAH!
-i've always been too fuckin cheap to buy burger king (they do not have a mcDOLLAR menu) and it pays off yet again.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
@ mel, I know right?
Didn't know what was worse, hearing something about someone and having it confirmed with only a look or realizing you sent a beloved pet to it's death. Shit made me wanna go sit in a corner with a bottle and a security blanket.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLnGdyUN-IU
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:57pm.
Simple: I don't care so much about the type of meat as the fact that I'm not being told what that type is.
Also, the fact that those horses were probably sick with something.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 2:03pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:30pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:26pm.
OK HOLD UP NOW! A DOG IS DIFFERENT!!!!!
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YOU WON FLIED LICE WID THAD?
*reported for hilarious wrongness*
you are on a roll today, huh? lmao [btw the mansfield thing is an urban legend... ;-)]
"Voodoo is forgetting
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HERRO?
dp
BAMBAM!!!! THE HORROR!!!!! :O Poor puppy. :'(
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Where my hubby is from it's common to eat horse. It's pretty good, in fact.
Good lawd ...I had BK for dinner yesterday, and saw this on the news as soon as I got home. I was thinking "well thank God I'm a vegetarian and only eat their veggie burgers." Then I thought " the veggie burgers are probably the real beef." *huah*
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
When I was in my twenties I gave one of my puppeh's babies to a coworker at the job I had at the time. She was a philipino immigrant and I didn't know shit about the culture.
I got informed about some things later on but didn't believe them cuz she was just so nice.
When I returned to visit the old job, I asked her how was the doggie doing. She gave me the weirdest look, she said ooh he good, good and I just knew that bitch ate my puppeh's bebe! lols >:-(
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLnGdyUN-IU
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:30pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:26pm.
OK HOLD UP NOW! A DOG IS DIFFERENT!!!!!
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YOU WON FLIED LICE WID THAD?
*reported for hilarious wrongness*
you are on a roll today, huh? lmao [btw the mansfield thing is an urban legend... ;-)]
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
The horrorshow of how animals are tortured in factory "farms" and feedlots finally put me off all this crap for good. Not to mention the hormones, antibiotics, chemicals, slaughterhouse shit/filth, etc etc.
It ain't your grandma's beef or chicken anymore, or even your mom's. In fact it's getting close to the point where they're selling you almost literal shit as food.
Run horsies run!
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:38pm.
@ophelia's -- the goblin community demands your apology
Yes you're right Miss Foxxy - goblins look way better than her. ;) I read that she has to move back home with White Oprah. Her blowjob money has run out apparetnly. OMG now that's a reality show I would like to see!
tomahawk :)
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
@ophelia's -- the goblin community demands your apology
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by jelliebean on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:29pm.
Reminds me of the time when we lived in the Inner Sunset area of San Fran near a street with many restaurants. Every week we would see signs about a cat that had disappeared, or the owners, usually kids, would go door to door asking if someone had seen it. They were probably being eaten by raccoons but my roommate always said it went into the restaurant meat.
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Where we lived before, there were a load of cats wandering around. They all disappeared at around the same time the stories about Romanians stealing pets for their fur started...
I have an Algerian friend whose grandmother lost her cat, and was convinced that the Chinese had personally stolen it and eaten it.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:33pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:32pm.
*rolling on my couch over your new avi*
ahaha I know right? she looks like a fucking goblin!
Submitted by JimiJanisJim on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:49pm.
Also, horses are not raised to be a meat product like cows so the horses that end up in a meat product are either; old, sick, broken down, or unwanted. That isn't the type of meat that any human would want to consume.
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Many of the animals raised for meat production face the same horrific conditions. Mass meat production is just nasty all around. In fact, the whole food industry is a total fucking mess. The only way to completely avoid it is to shop locally sourced or grow your own.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:32pm.
*rolling on my couch over your new avi*
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:26pm.
OK HOLD UP NOW! A DOG IS DIFFERENT!!!!!
or cat -- http://lolphotogallery.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/That-Wasnt-Chicken...
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:27pm.
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*Joining group hug*
And by the way: Your siggy makes my day every day - which is a double compliment, I guess.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:26pm.
OK HOLD UP NOW! A DOG IS DIFFERENT!!!!!
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YOU WON FLIED LICE WID THAD?
Reminds me of the time when we lived in the Inner Sunset area of San Fran near a street with many restaurants. Every week we would see signs about a cat that had disappeared, or the owners, usually kids, would go door to door asking if someone had seen it. They were probably being eaten by raccoons but my roommate always said it went into the restaurant meat.
i think it's awesome how many of my fellow dlisters don't eat dead flesh! (GROUP VEGGIE HUG)
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
It's not so much that it's horse, as the deception. You wanna sell horse meat? Fine, just be honest and realise that most people in the US/British Isles don't want to eat it.
OK HOLD UP NOW! A DOG IS DIFFERENT!!!!!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
DD, if it is a choice of starving or eating a horse...maybe my ass would take a bite out of ol' Crimson!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
for me, it is not "cultural conditioning," it is what SDR and gladys (jimi) said re: the input and production of the meat
MK if you ever see a story like this about In-N-Out? Please. Do. Not. Post. tyvm
*pours beef gravy all over the the moral condemnation and indignation of the non-meat eaters*
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
When my Dad was growing up he ate horse meat but that is because they had no other choices. Eat Daisy the horse or starve.
Tofu doesn't grow on trees.
Selling horse meat to British citizens is prohibited, that's why this is a problem.
Slaughtering horses is okay though, which has led to this.
Since I don't eat meat I don't know if I would draw the line when it comes to horse meat as in fact slaughtering any animal is likewise shitty.
But I do hate the "shocking pictures, warning, now watch" articles on the DM, always ruins my day, even though I never click on these articles.
I can understand the revulsion, but why is horse or dog any different than cow or pig? It's just cultural conditioning that makes it so. To take it a step farther, your beloved dog may have eaten horse in its pet food.
Yes awful but someone needs to check for human DNA. And plastic while they are at it.
Thank God it was BK and not In-N-Out. Poor MK would have a heart attack.
"...sometimes sucking on the same dick gets real boring." - MK's eloquent cousin
*packs overalls, heads to Texas*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
It's kind of taboo to eat horse in the U.S., but how is it any different than eating a cow, really. It's funny how we put animals into categories. Lunch versus Pet.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK