David Beckham Signs With Paris-Saint Germain, Proves He’s Really Rich By Donating His Salary To Charity

January 31, 2013 / Posted by:

My wet dream of fighting David Beckham for the last bunch of bananas at a Trader Joe’s in Glendale will never come true, because he has left Los Angeles FOREVER and moved back to London with Posh, Harper the 7th and the Cruz boys. Becks got his ass a job closer to home and announced today in France that he’ll be ripping off his jersey for the fans of Paris Saint-German starting now. People says that dozens of teams from around the world promised to throw wads of money at him if he graced their fields with his nipples and he went with PSG. Becks’ 5-month contract with PSG ends on June 30th. Becks said this in a press conference this morning:

“I consider myself to be part of this club in the future – in helping this club to grow … in helping the French league to grow and also helping this club to be one of the biggest powerhouses in football.”

If you live in Paris and your dream is to fight Posh for the last macaroon at Franprix, then I need to tell you that’s a dumb dream, because Posh doesn’t go into grocery stores and she sure as hell doesn’t fight over carbs. But anyway, Posh is staying in London with the kids and Becks will commute back and forth. Becks also said that he will donate his entire salary to a children’s charity in Paris. The French media says that his contract is worth over $5 million.

What’s $5 million to Posh and Becks? If Posh shit, her shits would be worth more than $5 million. Besides, it’s smart to give it all to charity. Because once the French super tax hit his salary, he’d be left with two stale pieces of baguette and a couple of coins. Gérard Depardieu knows what I’m talking about.

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