At a press conference for the Super Bowl in New Orleans today, Beyonce strolled out on stage and told everybody to stand, which is kind of weird. Why weren’t they already standing? It’s Beyonce! She’s more powerful and important than the President and the Pope combined. Even paraplegics find a way to stand for Beyonce. Once everybody stood (Side note: the people who didn’t stand were immediately dragged away to the basement and will never be heard from again), Beyonce sang The National Anthem to prove to hos that she can sing live. Beyonce then dropped the mic and served everybody pâté made from her placenta to prove to everyone that she was pregnant with Blue Ivy Carter.
Once Beyonce was done hollerin, she started taking questions from reporters and of course the first question was about the lip-synching scandal. Beyonce admitted that she sang to a backing track, but she did it for her country!
“I am a perfectionist and one thing about me is I practice until my feet bleed. I did not have time to rehearse with the orchestra. It was a live television show and a very, very important emotional show for me. One of my proudest moments. Due to the weather, due to the delay, due to no proper sound check, I did not feel comfortable taking the risk. It was about the president and the inauguration. I wanted to make my country proud, so I decided to sing along with my pre-recorded track, which is very common in the music industry. And I’m very proud of my performance.”
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, can somebody please send me the link for the live stream of the press conference for the Puppy Bowl Kitty Halftime Show, because I really need to hear what those pussies have to say.