Brandi Glanville Reupholstered Her Vagina With Eddie Cibrian's Money
Seen here at a glamorous event at a McDonald's last year, Brandi Glanville writes in her new tell-all Drinking and Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders that after Eddie Cibrian tainted her pristine vagina with the pussy juices from all of his side pieces, she got a face lift on her coochie and used his credit card to pay for it. Looking at that picture above probably convinced you to have Chicken McBites covered in sweet 'n sour sauce for lunch and then reading that sentence changed your mind.
Brandi writes that after she birthed out her two sons, she asked Eddie if her vagina still looked like a freshly bloomed baby pink calla lily or if it looked like two long pieces of sardine jerky fighting over a chewed up wad of gum. Eddie told her it was still precious until one time he told her it wasn't. Then after Eddie dumped her for LeAnn Rimes, she decided to de-Cibrianize her twat. Brandi says that she was broke and living in her SUV at the time, so she charged the surgery to Eddie's credit card:
"I would ask Eddie from time to time if my vagina was the same after childbirth. He always said yes, except once. He was actually quite vulgar.
I decided that since Eddie ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one. A week after the vaginal rejuvenation surgery, he was on the phone screaming, 'What the fuck cost you $12,000? Did you get a nose job?'I responded simply, 'Yes. A nose job.' And I hung up."
Great. So now LeAnnRimes, the Hedy to Brandi's Ally, is going to track down the plastic surgeon who restored Brandi's vagina to its pre-Cibrian glory, ask to see the "after" pictures and say, "I want that pussy on my body!" Single White Vagina starring Brandi AnalGlanville and Falcor's malnourished twin sister.
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Daaaaaaamn Brandi sure does know how to do 40 years old! She needs to hit up those cougar dating sites (or any site for that matter, just let me know which one!)
OMFG, too much information. This woman just can't let things go. She keeps the drama going. Your husband was/is a jerk who left you for someone else. That's not nice but jesus fucking christ it's time to move on.
She just can't resist having a dig at Leanne and/or Eddie every chance she gets. It is getting old!
In all this, I feel really sorry for Leann. Brandi and Eddie both seem like pretty slimey fame WHORES that will sleep with anyone for fame and money. Leann obviously has serious mental health issues and when she discovers how souless her Eddie is, I think it might do her in.
Submitted by Good Kiddance on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 12:58am.
Wouldnt it be difficult to recover from such a painful surgery if you are living in your car? This is the trashiest thing I have heard in a long time.
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Exactly - I don't believe she was living in a car when that happened. She's trying to play the pity game but that's the stupidest way to gain sympathy if you ask me.
Wouldnt it be difficult to recover from such a painful surgery if you are living in your car? This is the trashiest thing I have heard in a long time.
real classy bitch, this one. talk about your vagina to strangers some more, whore.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
I got 2 words for all o' y'all: MICHELLE DUGGAR.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
i'm willing to donate $20 to the brandi needs therapy fund.
My mom had that surgery done.. Lol, I think it's fine! Hell she was 5'3 and birthed two 9-pound watermelons (my dad was 6'4).. I don't understand the hate.
I had 2 c-sections for health reasons... But if I'd had them naturally I would've considered this surgery.
It is a Borat quote. And quite possibly an Eddie Cibrian quote.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 8:26pm.
Submitted by CeeMac on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 7:23pm.
Her vagine hang like sleeve of wizard.
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LOLOL. Can I sig this?
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Ha. isn't that a Borat quote?
Ya walk around in nothin' and have a showroom fresh (and paid for!) pussy and still no one's hittin' it?
And your man left you for Lean Rimes?
That needs to be that Wonka meme
(no relation to Jennifer Lopez, she wishes)
Submitted by azgirl on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 4:49pm.
Kegels are your friend. I do about 100 a day and have pushed out 2 babies, everything is normal down there. You can do them anywhere, if I am driving around I can do a whole bunch of them. Not only does it help everything after childbirth I also heard it helps fight off incontinence when you are older.
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I am 50, had two kids vaginally, and Kegeled my brains out for years. I wet my pants on a daily basis.
Brandi has a smokin' body for a woman that popped out two kids. I'm just saying.
Submitted by CeeMac on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 7:23pm.
Her vagine hang like sleeve of wizard.
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LOLOL. Can I sig this?
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Uhh.. wait. She thinks he ruined her body because she gave birth? Oh, I tried so hard to like this dumb whore, but she is simply that...a dumb whore. So,the size of your vagina is way more important than the fact that you gave birth to two healthy babies?
Actually this vapid ho made me laugh with her delivery and the fact that she so clearly would cut a bitch.... good for her....
Beats me as to why she or the anorexic stick insect/preying mantis look alike would fight over this sleaze bag ... he grosses me out.
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
I know someone whose ex-husband used to specialize in this. I met him. He was an asshole and she left him (after he hooked her up w/ a boob job, of course)!
Feel bad for Brandi and Eddie's kids...what trash parents they've got. Thank god they've got a Bonus Mom...oh wait.
Allright ho's, I do not understand this surgery AT ALL. Splain it to a slut. I ain't never had no chirruns and I don't do no kegels, but I know I have a kitten, not a cat...meaning I have a tiny 'giny and can't comfortably accomodate a large man without bleeding. Sorry to be so graphic, BUT I'm small down there. I'm a small dick havin' dude's best friend with benefits. So, back to the surgery, which is my worst nightmare because I wouldn't be able to fuck NO ONE if I had that, what is it they do??? Do they cut and restitch, making you tighter? Do they take away some sagage? What? What?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
STFU Already
Her vagine hang like sleeve of wizard.
That has to be the worst way to blow 12k. One guy with a big cock can undo all the work!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
We all know with Brandi's record that she has always had loose lips.
I just looked at a bunch of labiaplasty before and after pics. 9 times out of 10 the results aren't that impressive and certainly not worth the pain and money involved.
*rolls eyes* the shit women will do to themselves so men will stick around for another few months.
I work at a GYN office and we have an badass brochure on kegels.....we have one for women and men. Yes - there are MAN kegels.
She was getting her coochie done while she was living in her car with two children? And way to De-Cibrianize her life by constantly talking about him! However, being a thorn in Eddie's life is karma payback for all the cheating, lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 3:09pm.
she could have spent the money that she STOLE on her boys instead of fixing her swinging saloon doors.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 3:09pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Amen! God, I went through hell with my ex trying to get him to pay for daycare, and this twat blows 12k on her giny? No wonder men get all pissed off about child support.
Kegels are your friend. I do about 100 a day and have pushed out 2 babies, everything is normal down there. You can do them anywhere, if I am driving around I can do a whole bunch of them. Not only does it help everything after childbirth I also heard it helps fight off incontinence when you are older.
I saw a documentary about this once *barf.* Surgeons actually tighten up the inner walls after childbirth so they feel like teenagers again, literally feel. It wasn't about trimmming labia. As one woman put it, she no longer had sex that felt like a "pencil was thrusting into a cave" after her surgery *barf.* she said she felt like a teen again and she had never been happier.
Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 3:09pm.
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Precisely. She stole that money and if Edie had any balls, he would have gotten that money back in divorce court. (Well, I guess that depends on how much of the marital assets he spent on his affairs)
Since this is the surgery a la mode in L.A. you know that elective anal reconstructive surgery is next!
http://ostomates.org/forum/showthread.php?t=2706
sooooooooo........she chose vaginal rejuv for 12 grand instead of getting a place to live.......that's.......... an interesting choice
"It's a bowl of bullshit with chip scraps"
I can't with vagina hate. The solution to low vag-esteem is not surgery - it's realizing you are being pathetic and stopping.
I'm a love it or leave it kinda gal. If someone EVER told me that vag wasn't good enough for them, I'd say FINE, THEN GO FUCK SOMEONE ELSE, HAVE A NICE LIFE. Period.
Hope LeAnn unknowingly paid the bill! Lmao. Team Brandi.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
puss, puss, puss, reupolstered puss, goose! run!
TMI my vag
If you can't take the box, get out of the oven.
Whore up people.
lmao
I feel bad for the kids involved.
Brad Pitt LOVES huge labia so much, he's with someone who wears hers on her face.
DID YOU MOTHERFUCKING POOP IN MY FOOD? YOU BITCH! *THROWS TAMPON*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6PPzUW2PIY
Of all the plastic surgery to get... UGH.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 3:09pm.
...swinging saloon doors.
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*dies*
This woman is just as despicable as Leanne. Maybe even more, considering that she could have spent the money that she STOLE on her boys instead of fixing her swinging saloon doors.
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
What work ethic is her kids getting taught? No one gets a real job, the adults in their life just shamelessly exploit their private lives to cash a cheque. What's sad is she's marketing herself as a hot mess. To her, that's a career move. Drink, tweet every thought and have no shame. Lovely.
I don't get how anyone can be Team Brandi (or Team Leanne). They're both awful, no choice has to be made.
I also don't get how anyone can be on either of these waste of space sides. Seriously, both are pathetic.
Just thinking about vaginal "reupholstering" makes me want to stick an ice pack between my legs. I'd have to be pretty desperate to pay for that kind of agony!
Submitted by miz cynical on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:35pm.
LOL! In her place, I'd totally do that. Leann is such a humorless lunatic that she'd copy anything.
"And then after we got married, I got a tattoo of Eddie's face over my crotch… oh, and we tried autoerotic asphyxiation, that was SO sexy..."
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:39pm.
I bet that was the first time those dickwads had ever had sex with anything but their left hands.
Have some dignity, woman! Tell them that if they don't like it, there are plenty of guys who'd be glad to visit "down undah."
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:57pm.
One or two is more stars than I saw when I was there. If you're not a gambler or ten years old (which I was), it's pretty dull.
Plus side, I saw my first skank bride there. Before that, I didn't know anybody got married in lace bikinis.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I can't stand her but that was pretty funny...
"yes, a nose job" >snort<
It's Miz Vav to you...
"I want that pussy on my body!" Single White Vagina starring Brandi AnalGlanville and Falcor's malnourished twin sister.
ahahahahahaah lmao M.K. you gotta stop today please I need to get stuff done and I cannot stop laughing
Single White Vagina ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Also I love how many people on here are offended at her talking pussy shit when this site is all peen all the time. Pussies Rule!
She needs to seriously STFU & move on. No one cares about your snatch, Brandi. No one.
I don't get this surgery or how it's done. Totally mystifying.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:06pm.
annobanano -- vaginal rejuvenation surgery is fairly grizzly. The most major part involves major trimming of the labial lips. I cannot even begin to imagine how much recovery hurts -- OUCH!!!
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I once had a mole cut off to be biopsied from my inner labia.. It was some of the worst pain I've ever experienced. I can't imagine how it'd feel to get pretty much all of the inner labia cut off (they call this a Barbie.. gross).
What the hell? Have these people no shame? Who in the hell is this twat and why does she think I want to hear about her twat? I am disgusted.