Who cares if this is just another story that’s trying to kill the rumor that Bradley Cooper has a peen fetish, this is kind of Bradley Cooper news I want to hear about.
InTouch Weekly says that B. Coop wants to be a Dr. Scholl corn remover in his next life, because he wants to be stuck to a delicious foot all the time. Jennifer Lawrence introduced B. Coop to a model named Laura Simpson and they went out on a few dates, but she dumped his ass, because he was obsessed with her hooves and kept asking her for pictures of her feets and it grossed her out. Some source said this:
“After a bunch of dates, things got very awkward. He was always touching her feet. It was weird, so she broke it off. [They had] six real dates and were hooking up for about a month.”
So, B. Coop wants to suck your big toe like it’s a hard dick and your response is, “EWWWWW“? B. Coop wants to stick his dick between your toes and your response is, “EEEEEK“? Either this story is fake or this Laura Simpson trick doesn’t appreciate the pleasures in life. If that was me, I wouldn’t even care if B. Coop kept calling my foot “Victor.” I’d be all about it. Lick it, clean it, choke on that sock lint, bitch!