Lindsay Lohan Is Too Sick For Court
Lindsay Lohan is supposed to drag her pregnant slug lips into a court room in Los Angeles tomorrow morning to face a judge, but surprise, surprise, she's not going to. TMZ says that LiLo's NYC lawyer Mark Heller gave a letter to the judge in California from her doctor on Park Avenue that says that she's got the flu, or something, and can't get on a flight, because she doesn't want to infect the other passengers. Mark Heller also gave the judge an article from the New York Post about how the flu has become the biggest threat to NYC. Correction: LiLo is the biggest health threat to NYC, the flu is a distant ass second.
LiLo could go to jail for lying to the cops in that car crash case and the judge said in a hearing a couple of weeks ago that she must show her face in court. Mark Heller isn't going to be in court for her and LiLo's ex-lawyer Shawn Holley wants nothing to do with her anymore, so she won't be in court either. The judge could either issue a warrant for her arrest for once again pulling a bullshit excuse out of her ass or the judge could play nice and reschedule the hearing.
TMZ is accusing LiLo of doing something she never does, LYING, because they have pictures of her shoplifting shopping in SoHo on Saturday, the same day the doctor diagnosed her with the flu. How dare they accuse an innocent and honest human person of lying! I'll have them know that Lindsay Lohan has the walking flu (sort of like that walking pneumonia she had). She has to walk around stores in SoHo and steal things or it'll get worse. Her doctor says so and everything.
And LiLo is really getting out of court with a doctor's note? That's some 8th grade shit. I'm surprised she didn't use the excuse almost every girl in my 9th grade P.E. class used when they didn't want to go in the pool: I'M ON MY PERIOD! Strangely enough, I used that excuse too when I didn't want to go in the pool and it worked.
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Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 9:30am.
This court appearance is gonna be good! The local lawyer who's sponsoring Heller hasn't practiced in 17 years? hahaha Maybe she'll finally get the death penalty... I also love how The Shutters and Loews turned them away; I guess there was no room at the inn.
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WO prolly tried to use her Fudgie the Whale card there ahahaha!
Actually, she's banned because she trashed one of their rooms back in 2007. Karma, bitch..Karma.
11:30 can't come soon enough!! Judge Steph better not disappoint is all I have to say.
This court appearance is gonna be good! The local lawyer who's sponsoring Heller hasn't practiced in 17 years? hahaha Maybe she'll finally get the death penalty... I also love how The Shutters and Loews turned them away; I guess there was no room at the inn.
Awww... poor little blowhan is so sick with an "upper respiratory infection" that she flew back to LA tonight with white oprah, due to hearing that she'd be arrested if she didn't. What a stupid, lying dumbass; I wonder if she understands that everyone thinks she's a joke & hates her guts?
And the spiraling down of America's favorite shit stain liar continues...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by MissDior on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 4:15am.
Good Lord! Have y'all seen the pix of her at the airport?
yes! what in the fuck is she wearing??!! She's a pleather nightmare.. and that hat!! they both look wasted. She's on her cell prolly begging and pleading with Shawn. Live feed is at 11:30a.m. I hope she wears this airport outfit.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2270480/Lindsay-Lohan-touch...
Good Lord! Have y'all seen the pix of her at the airport? Apparently, "upper respiratory infection" really means "end stage liver disease related to advanced alcoholism and drug abuse". She's dying.
In case anyone is bored, this is Hohans stunning year in review...like a big circle of crap!LOL!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/stacylambe/the-highs-and-mostly-lows-of-lindsay-...
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
At the doctors office he can test almost immediately if you have the flu or not...it's a test mucous swab.
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 7:33pm.
Ho's what is UP with Lilo's DOUBLE CHIN???? I mean, sersly, skanks I'm asking???? Lilo not showing up in court? Meh, day in the life...but that DOUBLE FUCKIN' CHIN!!! Please 'splain. Me no understand!
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One word: alcoholism.
http://www.ehow.com/about_4779443_physical-signs-alcoholic.html
Being a drugged out crack whore, im sure she has heard of sudafed or a cold and flu tablet, not that PE shit but the stuff that actually works, take a pill and hop on your broomstick bitch.
Submitted by ElectricDreamMachine on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 5:22pm.
I don't think you can be too invested in the continued non-Lohanning of the human race.
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 5:01pm.
I'm pretty sure she's had an abortion or twenty. Remember when she had "surgery" in the hospital and was seen briskly skipping out the next day?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
According to TMZ, the Park Avenue doctor's note says that Lindsay has an UPPER respiratory infection; if that's true, she doesn't have the flu.
Influenza ("The Flu") is a LOWER respiratory infection. Sometimes a secondary sinus infection occurs in its wake, but the flu itself is an infection of the lungs (hence its deadliness).
If TMZ reported correctly, then Lohan has a cold. A person can fly with a cold....just take appropriate decongestants with proper timing. It's uncomfortable, but it can be done.
If Lohan's got a sinus infection, then she would have started antibiotics on Saturday and would no longer be contagious. And she'd still be able to fly (see above).
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"Support your local Search and Rescue team: Get lost."
WendyNerd: Don't go to class with the flu. You'll infect other people. That's not being responsible.
I'm a teacher (middle school), and students that show up sick get sent to the office to call their parents to pick them up. Parents unable to? Then the kid sits in the office until they can. A student may want to keep a perfect GPA, but I want to keep my job (and my health); sick students may not stay in my classroom.
Got the flu? Stay home. The flu can kill people.
Your other point is spot on: She should have been in L.A. *days* ago. If Lohan does have the flu (yeah, right), she *shouldn't* fly, but the judge should still issue a warrant for her arrest, because Lohan should not have waited until the last second to fly to L.A.
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"Support your local Search and Rescue team: Get lost."
You know, she wouldn't piss me off so much if she wasn't so entirely convinced that everyone else is a moron.
WHAT A SHOCK, BLOWHAN. I GUESS YOUR PASSPORT WAS STOLEN TOO, HUH?
Even if this is true, I am getting over the flu and I still dragged my ass to class yesterday (I didn't have class until 2:30 today, so I got to sleep in). Why? Because 1) my education is uber important and now that I FINALLY made the Dean's List, I don't want to fuck it up. and 2) IT'S CALLED RESPONSIBILITY.
This is bullshit about not wanting to infect other passengers. You take a cold pill, cover yourself up, and you can't tell me that Lohan couldn't get a private jet or get a secluded seat if she wanted one. If this was true, she'd have a doctor's note, wouldn't she? AND WE HAVE PICTURES OF HER SHOPPING.
Let's not even forget that she should have flown back to LA DAYS AGO.
I just... I just hate her so much. So much. The only thing Lohan cares about is her instant gratification. She has no respect for anyone or anything. She's a shitty, lazy, narcissistic coward. And she thinks she has a right to act this way because she's somehow better than us. I hope she burns. I hope she gets a prison sentence. Not jail, PRISON.
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
Throw her in jail.
"This fuckery could also double as an anthem for cats in the workforce." - Michael K, 5/1/12.
She should just change her name to Sonja Henie in honor of her admirable ability to "skate".
She must have some closed circuit cam videotape of Lady Luck in an illegal mahjong parlor or the Fates using cheap dollar store dental floss instead of thread. There *has* to be an explanation as to why she gets away with shit other "mortals" would have been thrown into the clink for a decade ago.
This bitch is infuriating, no question. The fact that she constantly pulls crap and suffers no consequences - it make me, as Stoney would say, feel stabby. I wish they would lock her ass up for at least several months. But the reality of the situation is this and she knows it - the jails are so overcrowded that she will practically be checked in and checked out. They can hold her, or they can hold some baby killing, drug dealing gangbanger chick. Ugh. Look, I'm a tax-paying Californian, and I'm all for building bigger jails and more prisons. It just never seems to be enough. And from the county that couldn't convict OJ (wtg shout out to Nevada) or Robert Blake (at least they got bat shit crazy Phil Spector), what do you expect?
Ho's what is UP with Lilo's DOUBLE CHIN???? I mean, sersly, skanks I'm asking???? Lilo not showing up in court? Meh, day in the life...but that DOUBLE FUCKIN' CHIN!!! Please 'splain. Me no understand!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
This lying piece of shit AGAIN! Even if I was sick I would go to court hacking lungies on everyone, carrying 4 boxes of tissues, snots dripping from my nose and maybe the judge would feel sorry for me.
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
they should have gone with herpes flareup. much more believable.
I was late to court once, due to a blizzard, the judge lectured me as he already had issued a bench warrant. This for a traffic ticket!
by IrishFury on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 6:50pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 6:48pm.
I KNEW IT!
I'd comment more but I'm too sick.
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Hi Dog-Bref!
You have a case of the six? What's wrong - flu?
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Dog-Bref! LMAO!
I was being like BlooHan - too sick to do anything. I'm fine, still, thanks but the youngest pup has projectile vomiting. Why is that a girl will grab a garbage can if she can't get to the can but a boy will just puke all over the wall?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 6:48pm.
I KNEW IT!
I'd comment more but I'm too sick.
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Hi Dog-Bref!
You have a case of the six? What's wrong - flu?
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Dark-sided!
I KNEW IT!
I'd comment more but I'm too sick.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by mike on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 5:39pm.
It's supposed to be 75 here tomorrow, so I'm planning a case of the Lohan Flu. Difference is, I'm doing it right. Today I acted slightly withdrawn and periodically did a little hacking.
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Nice work, mike! Hope you don't get well until you want to!
You are reminding me of the Seinfeld episode where George is employed by the Yankees. To "seem" busy, he always sighs heavily and acts exasperated when the boss is watching. He ends up sharing a hot tub with George Steinbrenner.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
This Bitch makes me homicidal. I hope she gets a warrant put on her ass. But I know that's just pipe dreams. She'll get off easy as usual. The CA justice system is a joke. Fuck the whole lot of them.
*Crackie is growing up*
Tie her to Kris Kardashian and THROW THEM IN THE PIT
It's supposed to be 75 here tomorrow, so I'm planning a case of the Lohan Flu. Difference is, I'm doing it right. Today I acted slightly withdrawn and periodically did a little hacking.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown: "usually a judge sees a continuance as giving them more time to do something else...and this is the first continuance requested by Heller since Holley was removed, so..."
Ah. Well, I can certainly relate to that.
Is it common or uncommon for there to be numerous continuances?
(Thanks in advance for your answers - I'm really curious to know if this is normal)
Hi Foxxy, she should have sent the judge the passed out in the poo poo photoshop jobbie, or the sour cooch flash. The judge would have given her an automatic pardon. No need for games here. lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I wish I had this Cunt's luck at dodging legal bullets.
LOL @ Within!! hahahahaahaaa!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I read "Lindsay is supposed to drag her pregnant..." and my heart skipped a beat until I read "...slug lips" lol. I am way too emotionally invested in this
@ GG [edit]
yes -- as long as s/he can provide declarations re: authentication, as Rande said. but prosecutors are busy as hell too and generally do not get the vapors over continuances even before a trial [and this is just a probation violation hearing, right? i don't know all of what this bitch has going on in CA]. and, usually it's common courtesy to get the other side's consent before the continuance request is presented to the court so ...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy, what if the opposing lawyer (sorry, I am lawtarded) got pics of this ho shopping on Sat., would that help?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Having the case of the double chins and ass lips is no reason to avoid court, Lieho.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 5:09pm.
Why does she always get the bleeding heart liberal judges?
usually a judge sees a continuance as giving them more time to do something else on their never ending "to do" list for that week/day - fewer proceedings, sooner they are off the bench to do their other work. and this is the first continuance requested by Heller since Holley was removed, so...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 4:52pm.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 4:00pm.
sadly, the dirty trick this bitch just pulled was that she had the doctor say that she was too sick TO FLY across country, risk of inner ear damage from sinuses swelling during flight blah blah blah. it may not matter -- may not -- if she's seen doing anything in public in NYC. but, when she does travel, would think her ass better get on a Hell A bound flight...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 4:45pm.
Submitted by Swede on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 4:43pm.
If she wants to put this off until March, that would be great.
I got jury duty coming up. I'm really hoping to put a celeb behind bars.
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I hope that you get your chance. I wouldn't use that last sentence in your interview though! ;)
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So you wouldn't advise building a miniature electric chair with a Mechano set while you're being interviewed?
Why does she always get the bleeding heart liberal judges?
So judges can't read anything in the press about up coming court dates that they may be presiding over... well damn that plan to hell!
It is rather mystifying that she hasn't dropped a kid or three. Amazing really. I don't think she's sterile. And there are always a few stories of someone who gets told they can't have kids and then they come down with a case of the babies! The only explanation I can come up with is, she is so delusional that she thinks kids will jeopardize her "career" . Yaaah.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 4:00pm.
Are the tmz pictures inadmissible to the court?
The govt could easily make them admissible by bringing the photog to court or even authenticating them long-distance through the photog. Or the judge could just ask her lawyer, "Mr. Heller, I saw photos of your client shopping when she was supposed to be sick. Are those reports accurate?" Since the judge is only ruling on whether a continuance is necessary, she can base her ruling on how the lawyer responds.
Submitted by Swede on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 4:43pm.
If she wants to put this off until March, that would be great.
I got jury duty coming up. I'm really hoping to put a celeb behind bars.
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I hope that you get your chance. I wouldn't use that last sentence in your interview though! ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
If she wants to put this off until March, that would be great.
I got jury duty coming up. I'm really hoping to put a celeb behind bars.
It's best if Miss Lohan continue residence in the Long Island area as there is only a pallet waiting for her in California and NYNY has more people who share her interests and pastimes, like those Olsen girls.
Submitted by miz cynical on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 2:52pm.
I know that I keep saying this, but why the fuck is the bitch never where she's supposed to be? If she's supposed to be in court on the West Coast, then she's on the East Coast or Europe. But in a week, she'll be back in Cali where she should've been a week prior! How fucking hard is it to stay in one place and show the fuck up when you're supposed to?
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She travels more than your average A-lister does....she's just avoiding courts.
Way to go LiLo...you have bicoastal court dates. What a winner of a human being you are.
Good ol' slug lips. I hope they put a warrant out for her ass and then pick her up at LAX.
First of all.....people cry flu constantly....people say they get the flu every year. They don't. The flu is terrible, you feel like you're dying and you're unable to get out of bed for days. Getting a fever and feeling sick for a few days is not the flu.
If she really did have the actual flu it would be hard for her to get on a plane...but she could do it and usually the bed-ridden part is only for 2-3 days if you're lucky.
I still call bullshit but most people have only had the flu 3-4 times in their entire life.
It kinda depends what kind of strain you get. My friend's kids currently have the flu but some A strain??? And those little ladies are active with a bit of fever. They did confirm it was the flu via nasal swap .
Isn't there a test you take to confirm the flu? Wouldn't she have to show this to the judge? Unless she gets the doc to lie for her...