The Difficult Brown Thinks He’s Jesus On The Cross

January 29, 2013 / Posted by:

After Chris Brown and Frank Ocean battled to be the Queen of the Parking Space, The Difficult Brown used his hands to make this busted down, community college art class painting of Jesus and his back-up cross hangers. Fist Brown posted his painting on Instagram and added the note: “Painting the way I feel today. Focus on what matters!” By the look of this painting, I’m guessing what really matters to Chris Brown is man abs, because DAMN he spent a lot of time with Jesus’ rock hard ab biscuits and V muscle. Jesus take the ab wheel! But couldn’t Jesus stop doing ab crunches for a minute so that he could dye his beard to match his hair? How are you going to spread the good word with a beard that is several shades lighter than your hair? Jesus would never work the two-tone look so this painting is a FRAUD!

While The Difficult Brown is off comparing himself to Jesus, the New York Post says that Frank Ocean is thinking about pressing charges against him. Frank still claims that Fist Brown threw the first punch that started the brawl. The L.A. County Sheriff’s Department says that Chris Brown hasn’t been hit with charges yet, but they are investigating. TMZ says that Fist Brown wants to talk to the police with his lawyer, because he claims he never hit anyone. The fight apparently started in the parking lot and then moved to the lobby where Chris Brown’s dudes and Frank Ocean’s dudes wrecked the whole place up. The surveillance footage from the lobby fight shows Team Breezy and Team Ocean creating waves in the lobby (Get it, because breezy + ocean = waves? Leave me alone, it’s early!), but the video never shows Chris or Frank throwing a punch. There’s no surveillance footage from the parking lot, so nobody knows who started it.

Chris Brown’s lawyer should argue that his client could never throw a punch at Frank, because Frank doesn’t have a vagina and tits. A valid argument! Not guilty! All charges dropped! But seriously, all of this over a stupid ass parking space? Everybody involved needs to have their licenses revoked and should be forced to take the bus from now on, because they are not worthy of any parking space. Slapping a trick over a parking space is just some dumb shit. When somebody steals your parking space, this is how you handle it:

Learn from Evelyn Couch. TOWANDA!

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