Pimp Mama Kris Got Her Own Talk Show
It looks like Pimp Mama Kris has renegotiated her kontract with her kreator Lucifer and will terrorize us for another year. Because Deadline says that after long negotiations (read: Illuminati rituals and sacrifices involving whatever is left of Bruce Jenner's soul), Fox announced today that Pimp Mama Kris' new talk show called Kris (or as most of us will call it when it comes across our screens while we're channel surfing, "HISS! HISS!") will start testing in certain markets, like NYC and L.A., this summer. This makes me miss the days of quality daytime television like The Richard Bey Show.
Fox's EVP of Development & Programming says that PMK's Fun Time Hour of Whoring will feature interviews with celebrities and segments on beauty and fashion. He went on to say this:
"Listen, I had to give Pimp Mama Kris her own show or she was going to feed my children to Khloe."
No, he said this instead:
“Whether offering real advice to her family or sharing personal moments with viewers, Kris is honest, compelling, entertaining, and unscripted – all excellent qualities for a daytime talk show host.
Wouldn’t be summer without at least one test, would it? In all seriousness, we go into this believing that if it works, the Kris Jenner program could really compliment what we’ve got going with Wendy, Bethenny, etc.”
"Kris is honest.... and unscripted?" Okay, yeah she totally threatened to feed his children to Khloe, because there's no way he'd be able to say that without choking on a stream of laughs coming up his throat.
So my guess is that PMK's talk show will open with her teaching viewers how to shoot and sell a porn starring your own daughter, then she'll interview Kanye West's asshole waxer and she'll close the show by modeling thongs next to Kendall and Kylie. SANTO DIOS! What have we done to deserve this?
And I know that PMK is a minion of Satan, but the mother and tattoo artist who held down and tattooed a baby are even more evil than her. As far as I know, I don't think PMK ever forcibly tattooed her kids (cut to Kendall showing off the letter K that PMK branded into her inner thigh).
• 
bourgie -- do you know that Big Ang thinks she's hot? And yes, believe it or not, that is a woman.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
Look, if the government is going to force this on us, and allow this kind of shit on our Televisions, and we have no way of escaping, then they need to pass recreational drug laws so we can get stoned out of our goddamned minds while this fuckfest is on. There is no other solution.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
I would rather endure the displeasure of a root canal than give my viewing eyes to this lady.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
You say, hiss hiss--I say, piss piss.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 8:04pm.
Who the hell are "Wendy" and "Bethenny"? I guarantee you more people are watching QVC than any stale talk show and it will be gone in a millisecond.
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The KKKArdashians have some stupid line on one of the shopping networks. The ugliest things ever! They are not known for their style yet there they are selling crap in their blindingly vibrant colors of black and gray held together with staples and duck tape. TRASH!
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 8:08pm.
Submitted by bourgie on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 8:04pm.
....This morning on Fox I saw some creature called Big Ange on the Wendy Williams show. The two of them looked like freaks of nature.
^^^^^^^^^^
Looked like? They ARE!
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Um, excuse Big Ang's beoootay, but you ho's be jelly...you need some peanut butter on the side bitches? Cuz y'all wish...;-)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
The 9th gate of hell just opened. When will it swallow this family up?
Kudos Baconslut, I just read your post! This is snuff porn for me.
The toddler tattoo, where is the CPS is on line one tag?? WTF?! That's abuse. The only difference is that Kris tattooed her evil onto Kim's heart. I really think she (mistreated) her differently, that's why Kim is so screwed up.
*runs back to The Empress of Lucite palate cleanser*
Meh. A lot of talk shows don't last, anyway.
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Douchechill!
MotherFUCK. In a world with dwindling resources, where teachers get paid peanuts,this fucking WASTE OF AIR gets her own talk show. Fuck, I hate the world right now. What a pathetic species we are.
It will never test well.
I watched some stupid shallow cunt getting her newborn's ears pieced just this past Saturday at the mall. There was a crowd outside the window at Claire's watching the whole thing go down. The baby was screaming. I almost made a scene but I took deep breaths to maintain my cool because I know better than to criticize any mom unless you want your head ripped off. NO EXCUSE. That shit is WRONG and if you did that to your newborn you are a selfish fucking idiot. Get some goddamn brains.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Richard Bey was the cats pajamas...PMK is the devil incarnate
Dear Hands,
Tighter....tighter..... now squeeze tight!!...hold it...hold it....hold it...hold it...hoooollllddd iiiiitttt.
Thank you,
Humanity
I didn't see the tattoo baby at first. Horrible. It reminds me of one time in the mall at Claire's there was this young couple with a newborn baby girl getting her ears pierced. God, I can still hear that baby's screams. I struggle with not being a judgmental mom, but seriously, tattooing and/or piercing a baby? Cruel.
Hopefully the whole brood will get together for her debut, and with the vermin all clustered in a small enclosed space, a stray meteor can strike and kill them all. A bomb will do too.
Submitted by QueenVelveeta on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 8:09pm.
Will.Not.Ever.Watch.
ditto.
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You might find The Hoff in a bar
or in Germany with a guitar.
He might do a dance
in shiny black pants,
but at least he can talk to his car.
Vile.
OMFG I am fucking homicidal watching that tattoo video. I wish death on that piece of trash mother.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Will.Not.Ever.Watch.
awww fuck no
Submitted by bourgie on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 8:04pm.
....This morning on Fox I saw some creature called Big Ange on the Wendy Williams show. The two of them looked like freaks of nature.
^^^^^^^^^^
Looked like? They ARE!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Can we all snort now, or should we wait until later?
Won't someone please pick this useless famewhpre up and drop her in a deep hole somewhere?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
That is a such a great picture of her!.......because it looks like someone's about to choke her to death...
Brown Oprah...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I always knew Fox was on the dark side. Now they have KJ with her own talk show there in addition to Bethanny Skeletor. This morning on Fox I saw some creature called Big Ange on the Wendy Williams show. The two of them looked like freaks of nature.
Who the hell are "Wendy" and "Bethenny"? I guarantee you more people are watching QVC than any stale talk show and it will be gone in a millisecond.
The mother in the tattoo vid is worse, MK? We'll likely never see her or hear about her again. We can't say that about Kris.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 7:58pm.
I thought these assholes were on the way down?!?!?
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Perhaps this latest bit of over-over-saturation will be the last straw.
*crosses fingers, wishes upon a star*
No.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
That baby tattoo video will haunt me. I only made it through a few seconds. Hopefully it's a fake.
About Kris: People, don't worry. Just be patient. In another year or so they will be hanging out in obscurity with Paris and the Gosselins.
Here that sound? It's the sound of the Four Horsemen. The end is near.
I thought these assholes were on the way down?!?!?
Yes, who would not want advice from PMK, because she has done so well with her own brood. Let's see, Kourtney is the married one who is knocked up by another man, right? Oops, no that's Kim. Kourtney is the one who has been knocked up twice by a man she's scared to marry because he's immature.
Sounds like a great show.
We're going to give you a fair trial- followed by a first class hanging."- Silverado
I don't see this lasting long... I think these assholes are on their way out. And PMK isn't that well loved.
The draw to these fools are the daughters...
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...the end
Can't be any worse than most daytime talk shows and likely only somewhat worse than most nighttime talk shows. If you choose to spend your days watching such inanity, feel free.
Katie bar the damn door. This is just too much assery for one lifetime.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Disgusting.
This further solidifies the fact that I made a very SMART DECISION when I got rid of my cable...
Wasn't Richard Bey like a knock off Jerry Springer?
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
Dear Owner of the Hands Around PMK's neck,
TIGHTEN UP! TIGHTEN THE PHUCK UP!!!
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