Pimp Mama Kris Got Her Own Talk Show
It looks like Pimp Mama Kris has renegotiated her kontract with her kreator Lucifer and will terrorize us for another year. Because Deadline says that after long negotiations (read: Illuminati rituals and sacrifices involving whatever is left of Bruce Jenner's soul), Fox announced today that Pimp Mama Kris' new talk show called Kris (or as most of us will call it when it comes across our screens while we're channel surfing, "HISS! HISS!") will start testing in certain markets, like NYC and L.A., this summer. This makes me miss the days of quality daytime television like The Richard Bey Show.
Fox's EVP of Development & Programming says that PMK's Fun Time Hour of Whoring will feature interviews with celebrities and segments on beauty and fashion. He went on to say this:
"Listen, I had to give Pimp Mama Kris her own show or she was going to feed my children to Khloe."
No, he said this instead:
“Whether offering real advice to her family or sharing personal moments with viewers, Kris is honest, compelling, entertaining, and unscripted – all excellent qualities for a daytime talk show host.
Wouldn’t be summer without at least one test, would it? In all seriousness, we go into this believing that if it works, the Kris Jenner program could really compliment what we’ve got going with Wendy, Bethenny, etc.”
"Kris is honest.... and unscripted?" Okay, yeah she totally threatened to feed his children to Khloe, because there's no way he'd be able to say that without choking on a stream of laughs coming up his throat.
So my guess is that PMK's talk show will open with her teaching viewers how to shoot and sell a porn starring your own daughter, then she'll interview Kanye West's asshole waxer and she'll close the show by modeling thongs next to Kendall and Kylie. SANTO DIOS! What have we done to deserve this?
And I know that PMK is a minion of Satan, but the mother and tattoo artist who held down and tattooed a baby are even more evil than her. As far as I know, I don't think PMK ever forcibly tattooed her kids (cut to Kendall showing off the letter K that PMK branded into her inner thigh).
• 
My ears were pierced when I was six months. And again when I was in second grade. And again in sixth. I had my nose pierced in eleventh (and redone yesterday, in fact). Aside from the first one, it was all my choice, I begged my parents. I was and am perfectly healthy (I was also breastfed for 18 months). I see nothing wrong with piercing a baby's ears. I don't remember it the first time but it wasn't very painful any of the other times. A little pain for all of a minute and then it's just uncomfortable until it heals. Ive had shots That were worse. I've always loved big and dangling earrings. I thought it was weird when my best friend in fifth grade didn't have her ears pierced.
That said, it is NOTHING like that bitch branding her baby (or the scum who did the tattooing). And it's nothing like circumcision. You don't like earrings? Just don't wear them. No skin is removed or permanently marked. I don't use earrings in my second piercings or cartilage piercing anymore, no big deal.
No more Kartrashians on my beloved D!!
No more no more no more!
That is all, goodnight freaks!
Ugh! Whyyy??? When will they go the way of Parisite Hilton? I'm surprised they are still around. I thought we almost got rid of them until Kim got knocked up. Sigh.
That's one ugly mug.
Submitted by Side-Eyez on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:17pm.
THIS. It's the apocalypse and I expect to see four horsemen anytime now - and I'm an atheist. When is the fucking torture from this this woman, her prize pig Kim and the rest of them going to stop? Someone please make it stop.
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Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:15pm.
I mostly just lurk but this shit made me extra fucking stabby lol.
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Just makes you fuckin stabby don't it?! LOL!
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:59pm.
Conventional wisdom from my upbringing is that only people from hot places (and/or Catholics) pierce their babies' ears. My mother used to give the side eye to "the foreigners" with pierced baby ears, LOL.
I was happy to let Eldest get her ears pierced at age 7, but Mr. Hekki refuses. I was all "but you're CATHOLIC!!" and he was all "What difference doea that make?"
*****
I grew up Catholic and got my ears pierced when I made my First Communion and so did most of my friends. I had one friend whose baby sister had hers done pretty much at birth. My Irish mother frowned upon this and intimated that it must be something EYE-talians do.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:15pm.
good to know......
This is what happens when another pimp steals your main ho. I just can't see PMK giving a damn about anyone besides herself. And we already have Tyra..sooo.
grrrrrr.......... Dog...........;p
Submitted by contrario on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:49pm.
How strange that the tattoo mother is considered abusive while a mother that let circumcise her little boy is given a free pass
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That's exactly what I thought. At least the tattoo can be removed. Good luck re-growing that foreskin. (Yes, I know there are restorative procedures, but that's a piece of your peen that will never come back.)
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:21pm.
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I thought the same thing about her nose...
Submitted by Big L on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:06pm.
Welcome to Dlisted, where people can have an opinion.
You may think of this chick as the next superstar, I think of her as just as disposable as all those other trash-whores advertising is throwing in our faces.
And its not Khloe, its Kim, FYVM.
THIS. It's the apocalypse and I expect to see four horsemen anytime now - and I'm an atheist. When is the fucking torture from this this woman, her prize pig Kim and the rest of them going to stop? Someone please make it stop.
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Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:15pm.
I mostly just lurk but this shit made me extra fucking stabby lol.
Her kitten died? Seriously?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:57pm.
Submitted by Big L on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:53pm.
BOOOOOOooooo on the K clan. A new star has risen....the new Guess jeans chick is hot as hell...
http://blog.theavenueagency.com/2012/08/open-any-major-fashion-magazine-...
PMK needs to step it up a big ol' KIM load....whaaa...haaa..haaa....
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If that chick is hot, than I m Miss fucking Universe. She is toe to toe in the fucked up nose department with PMK
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Congratulations Miss Fucking Universe...Where's YOUR picture?
Miss Guess is a youngster, just starting out, no need to criticize. Obviously beautiful enough for this and many other ads.....
Oh,...wait, I get it now....IT'S KHLOE Posting as Miss Fucking Universe!!! hahahahahhaa
contrario: I think both are horrifying.
Did that Bethenny show even take off? I have never heard or seen anything about it.
Conventional wisdom from my upbringing is that only people from hot places (and/or Catholics) pierce their babies' ears. My mother used to give the side eye to "the foreigners" with pierced baby ears, LOL.
I was happy to let Eldest get her ears pierced at age 7, but Mr. Hekki refuses. I was all "but you're CATHOLIC!!" and he was all "What difference doea that make?"
Submitted by Big L on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:53pm.
BOOOOOOooooo on the K clan. A new star has risen....the new Guess jeans chick is hot as hell...
http://blog.theavenueagency.com/2012/08/open-any-major-fashion-magazine-...
PMK needs to step it up a big ol' KIM load....whaaa...haaa..haaa....
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If that chick is hot, than I m Miss fucking Universe. She is toe to toe in the fucked up nose department with PMK
NO ONE is going to watch this mess. She is not relateable in the least bit. As annoying as hosts like Wendy Williams and The ladies of The View are, stay at home moms and young professionals can connect with then in some way. Kris Jenner has nothing of value to offer.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
LMAO @ her nose!
It's never gonna end with this vapid bunch of famewhore cunts, is it?
BOOOOOOooooo on the K clan. A new star has risen....the new Guess jeans chick is hot as hell...
http://blog.theavenueagency.com/2012/08/open-any-major-fashion-magazine-...
PMK needs to step it up a big ol' KIM load....whaaa...haaa..haaa....
Submitted by Uptown James: "...Kim gets a white kitten and it has a turd stuck in its ass half way hanging out. I hate those 2 so much; now I hate their kat, too---how fucked is that to have white fur and walk around with a turd hanging out of your ass?"
Don't worry. That cat died.
Submitted by ThreeWolf4Life on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:39pm.
Morton Downey, Jr
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Morton Downey jr, man I haven't head that name in ages, he was had all sorts of whack jobs on his show and was totally unapologetic about his trash TV..until he was dying of cancer then he sure changed his tune. I guess staring your own mortality in the face makes one question ones choices in life
How strange that the tattoo mother is considered abusive while a mother that let circumcise her little boy is given a free pass (see Sandra Bullock).
More PMK no thanks, you are not that interesting, I'd rather see our Goddess Shauna Sand or even Gitte Neilsen with a talk show. PMK - NO mas! No thanks!
I've never heard of daytime talk shows "testing in certain markets". Didn't Anderson and Katie Couric just start? This news reads like a political balloon being floated, when there's huge backlash they then pretend they were never serious.
Its becoming more of a common thing. They test shows in a handful of market areas and if they do well they go national. Wendy Williams was part of a test market before she took off and went national and syndication.
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"'Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' We hear the music and we still think you're insane, bitch. For the record." [Michael K on Megan Fox]
Damn that nose had a lot of work on it!
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Don't start none and the'll be none.
Goddamnit MK I love you - you are so on point with pop culture references....The beautiful man who is Richard Bey, he was Jerry Springer before Jerry Springer, I dare say Jerry ripped him off. I remember 9 Broadcast Plaza holy crap I am old!!! back in the day ... Morton Downey, Jr. and Richard Bey kicked off the trash t.v. format!
I"m sure it will be a smash hit, they should get Chevy Chase to be her sidekick.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 8:55pm.
Anyone with pieced ears knows that it is painful to sleep in studs. Plus the potential for infection. Doing that to an infant because it "looks pretty" (it doesn't) means you are too immature and shallow to breed. Maybe that's just my opinion, but it's a fucking good one.
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My mom pierced my ears when I was 2 months old, and my sister's ears when she was a baby as well, we both suffered from fevers and getting sick when we were a few months older shortly thereafter, and needed tubes around 2 years old, my brother never had those issues. I truly do think there is a link between the piercing, either indirectly causing those issues. If I had a daughter I would never pierce their ears as a baby.
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
I think those hands around her neck pretty much express my opinion about this.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 8:28pm.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 01/28/2013 8:34pm.
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OMG I never saw that creature before! I still don't know who or what she/he is and no one could understand what it was saying during the "interview" with Wendy. I had to turn off the TV. Ick!
Dude in the picture with his hands around her neck should have strangled her when he had the chance.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Today while I was on the Elliptical at the gym, that same fucking episode of Kourtney & Kim Do All of Miami was on my screen for the 9th time, where Kim gets a white kitten and it has a turd stuck in its ass half way hanging out. I hate those 2 so much; now I hate their kat, too---how fucked is that to have white fur and walk around with a turd hanging out of your ass?
Now I learn that their Dissolute Old Shitbag Mother is getting her own show; she's prolly the reason that Andason Coopa got canceled---just to make room for her.... I hate her, too.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
I keep PRAYING AND WILLING AND CHANTING that those hands will get tighter and tighter and tighter and...
Submitted by squiggles on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:17pm.
Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:09pm.
I blame Seacrest for all of this.
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Oh hell, yes. They've made him a shitload of $ but I wonder if he secretly hates and is disgusted by them.
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The women, yes, but he secretly wants to bone Bruce Jenner. That way he can pretend he's with a woman but really be with peen.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:09pm.
I blame Seacrest for all of this.
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Oh hell, yes. They've made him a shitload of $ but I wonder if he secretly hates and is disgusted by them.
I've been around. :) I mostly just lurk but this shit made me extra fucking stabby lol.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
If only those hands would move just a bit closer and squeeeeeze the fuckinglifeoutthatbitchjustrealquick. Like why? I cant with the Goddamn kuntrashians, I just cant.
I blame Seacrest for all of this.
Mooooo.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I need to visit more at night.... why not? my night life sucks... might as well hang with you sluts.... at least I recognize most of you....
That is, if you'll have me
STONEY!!!! where the fuck you been, bitch?!?!?!
I missed your sparkly butt!!!! *hugs*
ontop - I recall someone saying once, what if they threw a party and no one came? I think it's time people, I think it's time.
Anyone with pieced ears knows that it is painful to sleep in studs. Plus the potential for infection. Doing that to an infant because it "looks pretty" (it doesn't) means you are too immature and shallow to breed. Maybe that's just my opinion, but it's a fucking good one.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
PMK is the most vile, offensive, skank in all of the land. I hope the show fails hard and is cancelled in 2 epis. NO MORE money for the Kitten Killers Kartrashians. Zero.
I for one will NOT be watching this butchered old hag. She has nothing to say that I'd want to klisten to.
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"You wait. They gonna get everybody on twitter, facebook, doing everythin' online and then they gonna pull the PLUG and we all gonna be FUCKED!"
Seriously, that tattoo video made me nauseous. How fucking gross.
PMK needs to go away...please...
My daughter just got her ears pierced at age 15. I wanted it to be her decision and at an age where she could take care of everything herself. I think it's more culturally acceptable for some, supposedly "less painful when you can't remember it", and have even heard that keloid scars are less likely to form for hispanic or black babies as a reason to pierce early, but not applicable to us.