Pimp Mama Kris Got Her Own Talk Show
It looks like Pimp Mama Kris has renegotiated her kontract with her kreator Lucifer and will terrorize us for another year. Because Deadline says that after long negotiations (read: Illuminati rituals and sacrifices involving whatever is left of Bruce Jenner's soul), Fox announced today that Pimp Mama Kris' new talk show called Kris (or as most of us will call it when it comes across our screens while we're channel surfing, "HISS! HISS!") will start testing in certain markets, like NYC and L.A., this summer. This makes me miss the days of quality daytime television like The Richard Bey Show.
Fox's EVP of Development & Programming says that PMK's Fun Time Hour of Whoring will feature interviews with celebrities and segments on beauty and fashion. He went on to say this:
"Listen, I had to give Pimp Mama Kris her own show or she was going to feed my children to Khloe."
No, he said this instead:
“Whether offering real advice to her family or sharing personal moments with viewers, Kris is honest, compelling, entertaining, and unscripted – all excellent qualities for a daytime talk show host.
Wouldn’t be summer without at least one test, would it? In all seriousness, we go into this believing that if it works, the Kris Jenner program could really compliment what we’ve got going with Wendy, Bethenny, etc.”
"Kris is honest.... and unscripted?" Okay, yeah she totally threatened to feed his children to Khloe, because there's no way he'd be able to say that without choking on a stream of laughs coming up his throat.
So my guess is that PMK's talk show will open with her teaching viewers how to shoot and sell a porn starring your own daughter, then she'll interview Kanye West's asshole waxer and she'll close the show by modeling thongs next to Kendall and Kylie. SANTO DIOS! What have we done to deserve this?
And I know that PMK is a minion of Satan, but the mother and tattoo artist who held down and tattooed a baby are even more evil than her. As far as I know, I don't think PMK ever forcibly tattooed her kids (cut to Kendall showing off the letter K that PMK branded into her inner thigh).
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Look at that COKE NOSE/horrid fucking pinched nose job - ugly inside & out! Can't wait for her show to bomb.
shaking my head like a downtrodden ole broad: NO!!!!!!! This makes me miss cable access programming, where the local puppeteer would make penis shadows on the wall behind him. Now that was quality....compared to bringing this PORNMOM to our screens....no doubt to dish about healthy living.
Puke. My. Guts. Out.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Submitted by Honey_Rider on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 12:53pm.
@crazyinjapan--
I'm sorry but I have to reply to your comment on public defenders, or "pretenders", as you call them. Public defenders IN NO WAY work "for the court".. Like every single practicing attorney, they are "officers of the court," but they do NOT work for the DA's office and they only work with the DA's office when they're trying to work out discovery or negotiate a plea.. Public "pretenders" are lawyers who spent the same amount of money and time to graduate from a law school, pass a state bar, and pass the character and fitness requirements to practice law. However, unlike their friends in private practice, they are people who chose to shoulder all those law school loans in order to serve the people pushed to the margins of our society- the indigent who have been accused of crimes. They receive very little appreciation from mot of their clients, they get no respect from outsiders to the justice system, they get lumped in with their criminal clients by most judges, and the pay is pretty much shit for the amount of hours and clients they have (except for Federal Defenders, they have it a bit nicer). Before you pontificate on the unworthiness of public defenders, check out the Southern Public Defender Training Center or the documentary, "Gideon's Army" and educate yourself. Or, hell, go to law school for 3 years and then decide you want to spend your career in jails, getting coughed on and sexually harassed by your own clients, whom you're struggling to do the best for.
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THIS!!
Satan fucking lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God is dead (just watched Rosemary's Baby).
What the FUCK people??????????????????? Whoever watches this shit is getting sent to North Korea for dinner.
Amarx: Hollywood and Swine is a satire site, like The Onion.
Will do! I met Ms Leveritt and had my book signed in 2003 at an event here in L.A. with Wynona Ryder, Jello Biafra which featured works by various artists as well as some of Jesse's artwork. I was part of the Free the WM3 listserve since 1997 and took part in the postcard campaign, Kathy was always a staunch supporter and even when things looked as bad as could be, she kept us going, most of the LA supporters watched Paradise Lost: Revelations at Burk's house, and it was then that I found out that he Was a good friend of my then Supervisor at WB. Burk is a truly lovely person. I agree that without the films they would still be in prison and Damien would have been executed, but it was Kathy, Burk, Mara and all the people behind the website who just kept the ball rolling. I hope the wait won't be too long because for these pre-screenings you have to show up at least one hour before and if the film is particularly popular, you might not get a seat, but I'm gonna do my best to be there early enough to get in.
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"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
@crazyinjapan--
I'm sorry but I have to reply to your comment on public defenders, or "pretenders", as you call them. Public defenders IN NO WAY work "for the court".. Like every single practicing attorney, they are "officers of the court," but they do NOT work for the DA's office and they only work with the DA's office when they're trying to work out discovery or negotiate a plea.. Public "pretenders" are lawyers who spent the same amount of money and time to graduate from a law school, pass a state bar, and pass the character and fitness requirements to practice law. However, unlike their friends in private practice, they are people who chose to shoulder all those law school loans in order to serve the people pushed to the margins of our society- the indigent who have been accused of crimes. They receive very little appreciation from mot of their clients, they get no respect from outsiders to the justice system, they get lumped in with their criminal clients by most judges, and the pay is pretty much shit for the amount of hours and clients they have (except for Federal Defenders, they have it a bit nicer). Before you pontificate on the unworthiness of public defenders, check out the Southern Public Defender Training Center or the documentary, "Gideon's Army" and educate yourself. Or, hell, go to law school for 3 years and then decide you want to spend your career in jails, getting coughed on and sexually harassed by your own clients, whom you're struggling to do the best for.
Sorry that was a bit huffy.
why is a photo of Glamourace heading a post about PMK?
Let's not forget that Kim and Kanye are still auctioning off the baby-naming rights to the highest bidder: http://hollywoodandswine.com/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-to-sell-namin...
Andy Marx
I won't watch the Baby Tattoo video.
No one would ever watch the PimpMama Kris show. A waste of time!
She is delusional if she thinks people give a shit about her.
Another Ryan Seacrest BullShit show!
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"I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. It blurs your vision and screws with your brain.- MK, 01/17/13
Agnostic 1: Please let me know what you think about Devil's Knot. I am from one of the towns where the trials were held. I went to some of the appeals trials and met many of they key players (the directors of Paradise Lost even asked me to be in the second movie! I said no, I have to live here). My lawyer was Damien Echols's first lawyer (it was one of his first ever cases). I hope they do a good job on DK because it is important to show how fucked up the justice system is. Public defenders are public pretenders. Since they work for the court, it is not to their benefit to get an acquittal. Appeals trials (at least around here) use the same judge who presided over the first trial. The only way those men got out of prison was due to the fact Joel and Bruce made those documentaries and that the original judge got into politics, and the WM3 got a new judge whose name is David Laser, and he is a stand-up guy. In short, they were extraordinary lucky that they did not die in prison.
Her nose job is so fucking atrocious, who can we write to get this show off the air before it gets on, let's all pray it fails miserably cause no one I know likes this nasty soulless cunt
The baby getting a tattooed is horrific. I could only watch literally like 5 seconds of it and the screaming baby is still ringing in my ears. Poor thing. The mother needs that child (and any others for that poor judgement) taken away and the tattoo parlor should be shut down. Just terrible.
Submitted by shade on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 9:41am.
Submitted by vsminimoose on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 9:07am.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 6:55am.
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I never sleep/slept in earrings except during the healing phase. Plus, there are options that do not include piercing studs to sleep in during healing. It's not like they close up if you don't constantly have earrings in.
You might think it's trashy, as it's not the US culture, but it's the culture where I came from. This is also the culture of a very large portion of the world. We also don't circumcise our boys as a culture, unlike the US. There are many things about American parents/ways of raising kids that I think are atrocious. So what? To each their own (except for tattooing a baby or directing your child's sex tape).
I probably won't pierce my future kids' ears until they are at least four or five and have some say in it. I was obsessed with earrings by age 4. I'm glad my mom got mine done when I was little, as are both my sisters. It's not a vanity thing, it's an I love wearing earrings thing.
I can't even get pissed off about this because I am tooooooo fucking LIVID over that Mom having her baby tattood! WTF!!! where was that?
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Submitted by vsminimoose on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 9:07am.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 6:55am.
Submitted by girlfromipanema on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:54pm.
My ears were pierced when I was six months. And again when I was in second grade. And again in sixth. I had my nose pierced in eleventh (and redone yesterday, in fact). Aside from the first one, it was all my choice, I begged my parents. I was and am perfectly healthy (I was also breastfed for 18 months). I see nothing wrong with piercing a baby's ears. I don't remember it the first time but it wasn't very painful any of the other times. A little pain for all of a minute and then it's just uncomfortable until it heals.
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WRONG. It's not about the instant pain of the needle, it's the constant pain of sleeping in studs (see Stoney's post below). Those posts stick in the delicate area behind your ear lobe and hurt like shit. To this day I cannot sleep in earrings. Why the fuck would you put an infant through that? It's selfish vanity. That's it.
And, IMO, it looks super trashy on babies.
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THIS. lol it does look trashy on babies. It's a fucking BABY - they already get enough praise and attention on their own. No need to glam them up with earrings. It's always the women that look like they can't even afford groceries that go and take their babies to Claire's
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A-men. And can I add to that those giant elasticised pink satin and lace garter belts(!) they submit the poor baby girls' little heads to?!
God FORBID you think their baby is a BOY without all those "details".
reply • report abuse
I don't watch FOX stations now. That really solidified my decision to continue not to watch them.
It seems that the plastic surgeon chopped off too much from Kris' old nose and she got to have a rubber tip glued on the remains.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 6:55am.
Submitted by girlfromipanema on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:54pm.
My ears were pierced when I was six months. And again when I was in second grade. And again in sixth. I had my nose pierced in eleventh (and redone yesterday, in fact). Aside from the first one, it was all my choice, I begged my parents. I was and am perfectly healthy (I was also breastfed for 18 months). I see nothing wrong with piercing a baby's ears. I don't remember it the first time but it wasn't very painful any of the other times. A little pain for all of a minute and then it's just uncomfortable until it heals.
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WRONG. It's not about the instant pain of the needle, it's the constant pain of sleeping in studs (see Stoney's post below). Those posts stick in the delicate area behind your ear lobe and hurt like shit. To this day I cannot sleep in earrings. Why the fuck would you put an infant through that? It's selfish vanity. That's it.
And, IMO, it looks super trashy on babies.
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THIS. lol it does look trashy on babies. It's a fucking BABY - they already get enough praise and attention on their own. No need to glam them up with earrings. It's always the women that look like they can't even afford groceries that go and take their babies to Claire's
PMK needs to seriously invest in some spray on hair. For an egotistical beyotch, she needs to up her thinning hair game.
Can only think of one word to describe this abomination: http://youtu.be/0cgbZqR2AGI
What kind of advice could she give?
"When you're filming your daughter getting peed on, make sure she is always facing the camera with her good side."
"Make sure your daughter's boyfriend's income is at least 3 times hers before you hide her birth control."
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
<"Submitted by Agnostic 1 on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 5:25am.">
Yeah, I knew they test-marketed movies but not talk shows. They really need to do this outside of LA and NYC. Like when Mel Gibson took his serious dramatic movie to Springfield and Homer wrote on his card: "You SUCK! Your movie was more boring than church!" I'm sure all the loons in West Hollywood will just love PMK's show with a "Can I be on it?!"
Submitted by girlfromipanema on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:54pm.
My ears were pierced when I was six months. And again when I was in second grade. And again in sixth. I had my nose pierced in eleventh (and redone yesterday, in fact). Aside from the first one, it was all my choice, I begged my parents. I was and am perfectly healthy (I was also breastfed for 18 months). I see nothing wrong with piercing a baby's ears. I don't remember it the first time but it wasn't very painful any of the other times. A little pain for all of a minute and then it's just uncomfortable until it heals.
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WRONG. It's not about the instant pain of the needle, it's the constant pain of sleeping in studs (see Stoney's post below). Those posts stick in the delicate area behind your ear lobe and hurt like shit. To this day I cannot sleep in earrings. Why the fuck would you put an infant through that? It's selfish vanity. That's it.
And, IMO, it looks super trashy on babies.
I want to hang the tattoo mother by her fucking fingernails. I'm seething.
Kill them before they multiply----more. They've already spawned enough and they have taken over the covers of all the tabloids. This family of cockroaches needs a giant can of Raid.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 9:45pm.
I've never heard of daytime talk shows "testing in certain markets". Didn't Anderson and Katie Couric just start? This news reads like a political balloon being floated, when there's huge backlash they then pretend they were never serious.
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Most shows such as this one as well as films are test marketed usually in L.A. & NYC, I live in Santa Monica and whether one is on the Promenade, on campus at SMC, at the West Side Pavilion or the Farmers market, you'll inevitably be approached by studio interns who'll hand out free movie passes for films that are coming out in a few months or late in the year. So far I have invites to see "Devil's Knot" about the West Memphis 3 case on Thursday, "The Internship" with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn for Wednesday and "Untitled Animated Feature" "from the studio that brought you Shrek, How To Train Your Dragon, Puss In Boots" for Saturday. They do the same for TV shows, I went to a rehearsal taping for Bill Mahers' current HBO show while it was still in the testing stages. It's actually a pretty common practice at least here in L.A. The downside is that you can't bring in a cellphone, tablet or any type of recording device, also if the studio has doubts about how the film will fare, you're required to fill out a questionnaire in which the responses are pretty much exalting the film and the worst is when you're required to be filmed saying how "hilarious" or "terrifying" it was.
OT-OMFG! That woman needs to be drawn and quartered. Fucking bitch I want to fucking hold her down while I brand her inner thighs with a cow branding iron. Damn! My blood is fucking BOILING after watching that mess!
Re earrings none of my 3 girls got their ears pierced because my ex hubby and I thought it looked a bit uh, how do I say this without sounding like a total ass? Well, tacky... My oldest pierced hers once she turned 18, my youngest, soon to be 14, had hers pierced by my Italian ex-MIL when she was 11 and I fucking lost it, her poor ears got infected and by the second day they were taken out. Her ears are still unpierced.
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"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Yes! Choke that bitch!
Remember when it seemed like we'd never be rid of Parasite Hilton? Now where is she? There is a light at the end of the tunnel, folks. Too bad there's another skank waiting there for her 15 minutes...
Why didn't the idiot who started to strangle her in this picture, finish the job? Douchebag!!!!
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Another one of Satan's produktions marked: NOT TO BE WATCHED. #protestKK
"Kris (or as most of us will call it when it comes across our screens while we're channel surfing, "HISS! HISS!")" *dies*
And poor little baby on YT. Those parents suck. ;(
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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PMK looks like an evil robot in that photo.
Submitted by Mani6 on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 12:13am.
BAN THE KARDASHIANS.
Word. If it wasn't for Dlisted I actually would not have heard about any of them for months now. Maybe that's the universe telling me something.
WTF??? I clicked on the link to the baby getting tattooed and it was "sponsered" by an add from Walt Disney Engineering by Disney Parks. Walt's head must be turning cart wheels in that ice cube tray it's stored in.
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
Submitted by Mani6 on Tue, 01/29/2013 - 12:13am.
I'm commenting to say NO COMMENT. BAN THE KARDASHIANS.
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ita
humans...LOL Gonna read her book again just for that!!! Her voice still lives. That's good writing.
Submitted by girlfromipanema on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:54pm.
My ears were pierced when I was six months. And again when I was in second grade. And again in sixth. I had my nose pierced in eleventh (and redone yesterday, in fact). Aside from the first one, it was all my choice, I begged my parents. I was and am perfectly healthy (I was also breastfed for 18 months). I see nothing wrong with piercing a baby's ears. I don't remember it the first time but it wasn't very painful any of the other times. A little pain for all of a minute and then it's just uncomfortable until it heals. Ive had shots That were worse. I've always loved big and dangling earrings. I thought it was weird when my best friend in fifth grade didn't have her ears pierced.
That said, it is NOTHING like that bitch branding her baby (or the scum who did the tattooing). And it's nothing like circumcision. You don't like earrings? Just don't wear them. No skin is removed or permanently marked. I don't use earrings in my second piercings or cartilage piercing anymore, no big deal.
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AGREED! My ears were pierced when I was around two. They got infected once about a year later and since then, never a problem...I can shove unwashed paperclips through my lobes and they don't even get red (I haven't done that since I was 13, though. Ew).
Those letters Mr. Kardashian wrote about Kris Jenner's physical and emotional abuse of Kim put a new spin on this circus. Any Mommy beats and hurts her child is very sick. Then pimps her. Now she is preggers but can't marry the baby daddy because Mr.Humphries... But they spent $10 million and VERA WANG HELPED and ..aaaaaarrgh!!!!!!!
Make them go away!!!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:18pm.
Great. Now I have to boycott Fox.
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no kidding. what in fucking fresh hell is going on in society. who are the people that are going to be watching this? who the fuck are you? you all deserve to be pissed on.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Off-topic (which I consider a service)
chuckle from the Onion, apologies if previously noted
Nation Would Not Be Surprised At This Point If Chris Brown Allegedly Traveled Back In Time And Punched Anne Frank
(actually this is no less noxious than the Kardashians .. sorry)
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Hahahaha.That was a funny article.
Watch her first guests be the Honey Boo Boo Child clan. All the shit she talked, you know she'll want them on first.
I'm commenting to say NO COMMENT. BAN THE KARDASHIANS.
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
I'm glad my mom didn't line her girls up think.... Which one of you would look the best getting pissed on...
this is the kind of news that makes me depressed.
Even my father knows how Kim became famous. Ew.
Also, there's too many talk show twats on the air right now. It should just be sexalicious Anderson Cooper, and Maury Povich, and Ellen.
I can't wait to read MK's take on when this biyotch's show is canceled.
You know White Oprah is fuming right now.
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
Great. Now I have to boycott Fox.
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It's a special occasion, Mimi's emancipation
A cause for celebration
I ain't gonna let nobody's drama bother me
To paraphrase Indiana Jones: "All you have to do is SQUEEEZE…"
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.