Oprah's Got A Face Full Of Foreskins
An anti-circumcision group based in Vancouver plans to protest in front of Rogers Arena on Thursday, because Oprah will be there for whatever reason. Glen Callender (who looks like this), founder of the Canadian Foreskin Awareness Project, is mad at The Mighty O for using and whoring out a $150-a-jar face cream that's got foreskins in it. Oprah has been using the cream for a million years and Glen says that it's very hypocritical of her to speak out against female genital mutilation while she's got blended dick hoods smeared all over her mug. (Cut to Gayle King saying, "O, honey, please wash your face. I'm not going to sit on it when it smells like foreskins.")
Glen tells The Owen Sound Times that Oprah would never put a clitoris on her face (insert gaylekingsmirking.gif here), so why is she putting foreskins on her face?
“Imagine how Oprah would respond if a skin cream for men went on the market that was made from parts of the genitalia of little girls. That would be an outrage and rightly so. I would like Oprah to come to her senses and realize that all children have a fundamental human right to keep all their genitalia and to decide for themselves if anything gets cut off."
SkinMedica says that they don't exactly rip the foreskin off of men and then throw that shit into a blender. They're not Madonna. The makers of the dick scarf cream say "they use foreskin fibroblast — a piece of human skin used as a culture to grow other skin or cells."
Okay, whatever, I just need to say that cream is a fraud! I've been rubbing foreskins on my face for years and I still get breakouts and it's starting to look like a troupe of crows Riverdanced on my eyes.
And this explains why John Travolta and Oprah are best homegirls. Oprah probably likes it when John Travolta gives her face a tongue bath for three hours straight. Kinky ass Oprah.
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Also - I'm surprised so many people don't come across it. Out of the 7 guys I've slept with, 4 of them were not circumcised. And these were all just plain jane white guys....wait - one was from Argentina.
The end.
"...if you come here you can see all the foreskins you want."--Lucifer Sam.
This needs to be the official slogan for the British tourism board (if such a thing exists).
Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:23pm.
Uncircumcised churros give me the willies!!
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Damn it LaChay! You made coffee shoot out of my nose! *choke choke*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by DianaDeath on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:53pm.
The worst-smelling dick I ever encountered was uncut, it was like piss and sardines. I could smell it as soonas he unzipped. That is all.
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I'm going to have to go ahead and second this. I had an ex with this issue. I also had a friend who was dating a guy with the same issues and she was always getting UTIs. Barf.
But I also dated guys who were uncut and it was fine...I think the guy just has to be dedicated to immaculate hygiene.
misslainey that's what I don't get about moisturizers, consitioners etc they all have water and alchohol as their main ingredients, how is that helping my dry skin/hair???!?!?!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
DianaDeath: so.....did you!?!?!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Yes. I didn't want to be rude and say no, so I spit on it a lot in an effort to "wash" it. I'll stop right there.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Last night a friend told me that her 20 year old friend had a circ at 20 and he would rather have every single one of the bones in his body break at once! More than one time - so the 'his choice' may not work out so well! My sons are circ'd and they were fine during it and fine after! Wouldn't change a thing!
Tmi but once I was sucking an intact wein a d after be came it was still in my mouth and the foreskin kinda swished around in there ... Not sexy.
The worst-smelling dick I ever encountered was uncut, it was like piss and sardines. I could smell it as soonas he unzipped. That is all.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:23pm.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:13pm.
*protests Whamo's virginity*
Wait - WHAT?!?!?!?!
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lol, I can't even remember where this one started but Weezy throws it out there every month or so...and someone always says...wait what! Bwahaaaa!!!
I've never seen an uncut version in real life, and I'd really like it to stay that way. Also, that face cream sounds gross and way over priced.
In my former life as a cosmetic counter girl, I bought all that over priced junk. Then I realized the main ingredients in most were mineral oil and water. So after that, I just used Vaseline and water on my face. I have no wrinkles. Now of course I don't use Vaseline, I make my own 'Vaseline' beeswax, castor oil and/or olive oil. I wash my face with a cold towel. Been doing that for years. I'm sure there are serums that worm, but that stuff is way overpriced. The best thing for your skin hands down is eating healthy, non processed foods, drinking lots of water and getting your zzzzs.
bitchSpray on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:20pm.
"i totally agree with that "HIS PENIS, HIS CHOICE" sign. when boys grow up, they should decide. it's none of the parents' business"
Amen!
Back to Oprah, what's the matter with her? Just lie around in the sun on your well-earned bags of money,with the guy or girl (no one cares which)of your choice? Relax!
That dingbat LeAnne Rhimes done opened her nasty mouth again!
http://whatpplaresaying.blogspot.ca/2013/01/by-screw-you-leanne-means-sc...
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Don't start none and the'll be none.
*males elephant noises*
Chewy- it was me and a bunch of other girls and we were all a bit freaked. "What the hell is wrong with it?? Is there something on it? Like a shield or something? Why does it look like it's hiding?" Then someone said, "He must be from Europe" and a bunch of us went, "Oooooooh," like being from Europe explains all weird sexual things.
Wait. Excuse me. There is a facial cream made out of foreskin!?!? Where the FUCK have I been?
I'd really like to hear the science behind this cream. I'm not a biochemist but I've got a shitload of a science background and work in the field today and I do not understand how a skin cell growth medium, mixed in a face lotion, can actually translate into younger looking or wrinkle-free skin.
I'm sure I'm not blowing any minds when I say this but that's just an example of some lab getting paid a ton of money to just throw some useless piece of "sciencey something" into a cream so the public thinks it's worth a damn.
Fucking crooks.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:21pm.
It's a little jarring if you've only seen cut ones.
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Bwhahaha! I can only imagine. I'm glad this topic has arisen...if only to help me handle an awkward situation in the future. I could totally envision the following dialogue:
Chewi: "What's wrong with your dick? Why is it wearing a coat?"
I would feel horrible! :(
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
She should stop using that cock cream because it obviously DOES NOT WORK. Her face has looked like her under eye area has been haning off her face for decades - more so when she lost weight. Sorry Oprah but "you sho is ugly".
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
'And if you're a girl and you're whining. Cut your labia off and dry out ya cavern if you're so particular about scent & germs.'
Pretty good point, actually.
How unnecessary. Black don't crack, Ope! You would have looked the same anyway.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Ha! This post is hilarious. And Oprah is surprisingly ignorant for someone who's been in contact with a lot of the most brillian people in the world.
Also, I've only had one cut peen and that freaked me out. I was drunk and went "the fuck?" And he said that being Jewish it was cut and I thought whatever, and went on with it.
Oprah looks like Fiona from "Shrek" to me, foreskin or no.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:27pm
/faints from laughter
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Hey Oprah, here's a jar of my old period blood. Smear it on your wizened, saggy old face and it will make you look 25 years younger guaranteed. Only $300, what a bargain.
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I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. - Michael K 1/16/13
LOL Snowy, for real!
Chewin, lol @ "hat on the peen"! Snowy's right, it's a trenchcoat!
Does anybody remember Nip/Tuck where Joan Rivers did a cameo raving about some facial creme that had semen as the main ingredient in it? No?
I had noticed how some of those porn stars faces looked remarkably youthful. :-P
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eat me tony kornheiser.
Oprah turns 59 this week. Looks like she has not had much if any surgery. She looks pretty good for her age. My aunt is a rabid fan of hers for years. Never understood why people follow someone/anyone to the degree that some of her fans have. She's someone that has gotten incredibly lucky with her career.
She probably sold millions of this ridiculous junk face shit for the company.
Oh, and I don't think she's gay. I don't think she likes sex and never has. I don't see an ounce of sexuality in her. JMO
sorry I have dealt with both and I swear I'm not taking on another uncut one ever again (unless it comes attached to Maksim or something) And chewy, IDK how to tell you this, but it's not just a hat....it's a whole down jacket!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
I don't really care what Oprah puts on her face, but I'd totally hit that Callender dude...
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Good
As
You
Hah! Some people won't even wear fur but they'll wipe human skin on their faces.
It's a very silly thing. Why can't people in the US just get over circumcising babies? I don't get why it's continued this long. Okay, so for a time it was acceptable but now it's just not necessary and it's well-proven.
Just sukadik of an uncut man you love or who's like really hot & super sexy and you'll never bitch about it again. Promise.
And if you're a girl and you're whining. Cut your labia off and dry out ya cavern if you're so particular about scent & germs.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:23pm.
Uncircumcised churros give me the willies!!
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Yes - the uncut Willies give me the willies too!!
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:13pm.
I've never seen a peen with the foreskin.
So, does that mean I've been fairly sheltered?
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Or your strictly dickly for American born White boys.
she looks like she's got a plastic mask glued on her face. weird. I loathe her....
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:19pm.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:13pm.
I've never seen a peen with the foreskin. So, does that mean I've been fairly sheltered?
Not necessarily. From what I understand circumcised cock is the norm in America. It isn't really a British thing (though they do it in my family) so if you come here you can see all the foreskins you want. I'd rather not.
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Bwhahahahahaha!!!!! Thanks Lucy! That gave me a chuckle.
But I do suppose I better contact my friend who is travelling Europe for the next six months...if she hooks up with some peen, I'm sure she would like to be prepared for a hat on the peen - I know I would like to be given a heads up (pardon the pun) on this type of thing.
You learn something new everyday on the D - I shit you not!
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
LOL Lucy: COME TO THE UK: WE HAVE FORESKINS GALORE!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:13pm.
*protests Whamo's virginity*
Wait - WHAT?!?!?!?!
Crazy Americans and your foreskin cutting, learn to wash yourselves.
And no, it isn't healthier or prettier, it's some crazy religious shit, that's all, you're the ONLY non-religious people in the damn world that do it FYI.
Oh and your dick is more sensitive when uncircumcised, so sex is better..thank mom & dad for not being able to experience that.
"No intelligent life form writes in caps lock" ~GOD
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Uncircumcised churros give me the willies!!
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:19pm.
Hahahahahhaaa!! That's gonna give someone a concussion!
chewinsmoke- From what I understand, it's more common in North America for men to be circumcised then it is in Europe. I was 19 or 20 when I saw an uncut one (it was a photo). My first thought was, "WTF is wrong with his junk?!?!?!" It's a little jarring if you've only seen cut ones.
Oprah is not looking particularly youthful these days. In fact, I noted to myself how old she looked when she interviewed Lance Armstrong. Major drooping happening around the eyes...
She's a damn fool to buy into that pseudoscience shit.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:13pm.
I've never seen a peen with the foreskin. So, does that mean I've been fairly sheltered?
Not necessarily. From what I understand circumcised cock is the norm in America. It isn't really a British thing (though they do it in my family) so if you come here you can see all the foreskins you want. I'd rather not.
1) circumcision is common only in the USA and in islamic/jewish communities. elsewhere it's done only for REAL medical reasons
2) i totally agree with that "HIS PENIS, HIS CHOICE" sign. when boys grow up, they should decide. it's none of the parents' business
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:13pm.
*protests Whamo's virginity*
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*waves bishop head at Weezy*
http://www.giantchess.info/2009/12/wooden-bishop-chess-piece.html
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:12pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 11:54am.
Right? It reminds me of that Cindy Crawford crap that it supposedly derived from a melon
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OMG that infomercial -- Dr. Jean Louis SAh-BAH and his fucking magic melons. Cindy has been tweeking her looks for years but hey there's a sucker born every minute....
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:13pm.
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From what I understand, there's been an intact movement recently that likens circumcision to genital mutilation in girls. That coupled with it being a cosmetic procedure that some insurances won't cover, I'd imagine a lousy economy has also contributed to the percentages dropping. My kids' generation might see a rise in uncirc'd men.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 12:12pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 11:54am.
*goes to kitchen to get some old crushed garlic jars, stops in office to grab some Avery labels* ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Well it's sort of on topic since she's friends with Black Oprah: Tina Turner is no longer a US citizen. I just read she's living forevermore in Switzerland and is now legally The Swiss Miss and speaks fluent German which probably sounds very badass from her. Oh to have her (current) life. I could do without getting hit with my own boot across the mouth.
People really buy this stuff? unreal. They would follow Orca off a cliff. Fucking drones.