Open Post: Hosted By Nicole Kidman's Thrusting Ass

Matt Damon hijacked Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and had on a few guests that Kimmel has never had on before including Demi Moore and Nicole Kidman. Between Demi and Nicole, you'd think that perma-horny Demi would be the one riding Kimmel like he's got a pocketful of singles and the strip club DJ just played her favorite song, but it was actually Nicole who scooted her crotch against his lap. Nicole came out, hopped on Kimmel and showed all of us the skills she learned from working Tommy Girl over with a strap-on all those years. Seeing Nicole in action again brought a tear to Tommy's brown eye.

And a little later on in the show, Demi came out....

Please don't hate on Demi's flattened silly putty face. Her face only looks like that because she's playing the new Lady Cassandra in Doctor Who.

Posted by: Michael K

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Open Post

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 01/27/2013 - 12:02am.

Yeah, things are going well, Withy. I'm content. But you...

"Body in the freezer, she took it out to the dump.
She was a day ay ay tripper, a Saturday driver, yeah,
It took me so long to find out, but I found out."

I'm on to you girl. That friend of yours you spoke of is really a frozen body, isn't it?

Submitted by veryoldbat on Sun, 01/27/2013 - 12:01am.

Princess .. LMAO... Well yup.. That tops just about everything.;)
:::passes a towel.. :::

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:59pm.

Howdy TR, VOB! You mean you have no more chocolate chip cookies left... not even the crumbs? Did you at least wait for them to cool? *whispers* I usually eat 2 or 10 too. *looks for something else to eat...* lol

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Bloggie noms close January 27th! http://2013.bloggi.es/

Submitted by princesspoppy on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:57pm.

Speaking of things better than Ted, I had a load blown in my eye tonight. Now, that was a first.

Submitted by veryoldbat on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:52pm.

CIJ.. Watched The Paperboy again.. It just gets better. Hey Withy!

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Submitted by veryoldbat on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:50pm.

Seriously.. SFRB.... What did Cameron Diaz do to herself? She was so beautiful...
It's a shame... But how did she do that You'd have to try to do that... Bar fight?

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:50pm.

Lol CIJ, How are you doing? You sound well. I took a short day trip to see a friend and thoroughly enjoyed it. Nice to hear of your spicy evening with the bf. It's so nice to take it easy and do something spur of the moment, isn't it? (The best option, imo) Hope you lit some candles. hehehe ;P

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Bloggie noms close January 27th! http://2013.bloggi.es/

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:50pm.

SFRB: Have you seen Rid of Me? It's an independent black comedy, and it's on Netflix. In the introductory scene, a punk-looking chick is spying on a blonde, suburban-looking chick in a grocery store. The punk walks up to the suburban, sticks her hand down her pants, and wipes menstrual blood on the suburban's face. ACK! The rest of the movie flashes back to explain why the punk chick did what she did. I thought it was pretty good. Anyway, the tampon hurling reminded me of that movie.

P.S. I also liked God Bless America.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:40pm.

I watched "There's Something About Mary" 2 weeks ago....I forgot how pretty Cammy was. She looks so horrible now. What a shame.

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Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

Submitted by SFRBully on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:38pm.

Cameron Diaz FUCKED her face up!!!

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKING POOP IN MY FOOD? YOU BITCH! *THROWS TAMPON*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6PPzUW2PIY

Submitted by veryoldbat on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:34pm.

Cameron Diaz is on SNL. LIfe hasn't been kind to her face. Actually.. Caeron..WTF did you do to your face? If this is what hanging with Goopy gets you...::::YOU IN TROUBLE GURL::::: wooof

Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR

Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:29pm.

oh, there IS an open post! hallelujer!

how are you sluts this full moon evening?

my son made chocolate chip cookies while i was at the gym.

*bangs head on empty plate, tries to wipe away tears but gets melted chocolate in eyes*

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God don't like ugly.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:24pm.

Hi Withy! You been keeping the bodies fresh in the garage freezer?

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:22pm.

Glad to see everyone had/is having a good Saturday.

Hi CrazyinJapan! :)

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Bloggie noms close January 27th! http://2013.bloggi.es/

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 11:15pm.

Hi everybody! Tonight's movie was Ted, and it was not good. The BF said it was a "male buddy movie that's supposed to be funny but isn't." It's about this guy who has a talking teddy bear as a cling-on friend. I found that, as I was watching it, I felt I was back in my college days tripping on acid (the talking bear) and wishing I wasn't while trapped in a frat house with no ride home. Most movies I watch the whole way through, even if I don't like them. However, in the middle of this one, BF and I turned off the Blu-Ray and, as they used to say in the 70s, made love. That activity was much more entertaining than Ted, and I highly recommend it over watching the movie. A definite CJ and BF thumbs down for Ted!

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 10:22pm.

@Dog -- joking aside, i completely agree with you. in addition to ingredient issues and the fact that i am outside of the "must get" population so no need to be selfish, i have only taken one flu shot in my life and [i realize odds are i had the virus before the shot but] i became ill with the flu within 24 hours. done and done.

i'm going to cook my dinner now -- going greek [the other kind] -- grilled halloumi cheese n salad, lamb n roasted potatoes. nice chatting with you as always!

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 10:09pm.

Foxxy - back away from the flu shot. Among its ingredients are spermicide, mercury and formaldehyde. You don't want that action.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 10:04pm.

@ Dog -- oooooookkkkkkkkk, maybe i need to back away from the biotin and get that flu shot after all lol ;-) *swoons over your stock* delicious in its pure form and you can do ANYTHING with that base. kudos

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 10:00pm.

Foxxy, Biotin really does regrow hair. The problem is it grows ALL of your hair so waxing is a must. lol

I just made homemade chicken stock with a ton of garlic and fresh basil.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:57pm.

@ Dog -- oh good, garlic is a daily requirement around here. i honestly do crave it if i go a couple of days without. *googles foods w/high biotin*

hi Bacon bye Bacon!

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:49pm.

Foxxy, not rigidly but I try to take them around lunch. At night I take the Biotin and garlic. Garlic is one nature's most powerful antioxidants. And Biotin strengthens hair and nails. It also promotes hair growth, which I'm doing so may hair gets thicker.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by BaconSlut on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:45pm.

Hola, horz!

Just a quick drive-by fondle between chores, hoping everyhooker is well. Replaced my coffee carafe today. Hot Lips has claimed and marked the box as his. I will never be rid of it. No. Seriously. Never. It is now a permanent and classy fixture in my profoundly elegant crib.

Back to laundry and dishes! ;)

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Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:45pm.

well, folks... as much as i find you all so very simply irresistible,(*hat tip to Foxxy!*) i've got to get ready to go "fishing" with a friend... i really hope the barrel isn't too big, because my aim isn't all that good, and i'm not into challenges that aren't skewed in my favor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-xLK8eqr8k

catch ya all later!

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:36pm.

@ ESE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrGw_cOgwa8

@ Dog -- good for you, i am shit with pill taking discipline [#noneedforbirthcontrol]. do you do a same time every day routine?

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:32pm.

Foxxy, I'm immune to the Ebola-cold and Ebola-flu because I take zinc, Super C and MSM every day without fail.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:29pm.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:27pm.
for some reason that both excites and frightens me, ESE ;-)
-----------------------

funny, it has the same effect on me!LOL!

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:31pm.

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:27pm.

Hi Foxxy. They dropped like fleas in my house. I'm fine, though. You?

you know what now that you said that i did see your comment earlier. sorry, hope they are treating you well as you help the sick and shut in and omfg i hope you are wearing a surgical mask and taking a lysol dip every time you walk away from one of them ;-)

ETA: i'm good, thanks for asking. i day dated today, so tonight is mine. chillaxin and trying to remain flu free. the stomach version seems to be what all the kids in my region are getting these days...

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:27pm.

Hi Foxxy. They dropped like fleas in my house. I'm fine, though. You?

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:27pm.

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:25pm.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:19pm.

"trust, there's always at least a tiny bit of truth to the nonsense i post to you all,"

for some reason that both excites and frightens me, ESE ;-)

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:25pm.

Hi Dog - hope you're not among the ill or wounded

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:25pm.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:19pm.

no, seriously! i really got him/her!... and i did use the utensils(well, not the hard candy... that didn't work!) that i "picked up on dlisted"... it was a long wait, but that furry fucker hadn't a chance!

trust, there's always at least a tiny bit of truth to the nonsense i post to you all, which part is true in each... i'll never tell until i feel proud of myself!... HA!

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:23pm.

Whamo, drive safe. Bundle up!

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:19pm.

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:10pm.

you were serious about the rodent?! lmao, one never knows with you... ;-)

@ Whamo -- be careful driving!!! and steal some drugs while you're there k thx bye bye

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:15pm.

Lol, you ladies are too much!

So my buddy just called and he doesn't have to stay there so it looks like he's ok and just got bashed up a bit, I'll give details in a bit.

Now I have to get my chilled unshaven ass up and dressed to go get him...this part sucks I really do not want to move right now, anyway I'll talk to yous guys in a bit...and yes I just said yous! :P

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 9:10pm.

breaking news, folks!

rodentgate is over!

just in case any of you were wondering, ESE caught the little fuzzy bastard mouse that has been eluding him for days early this morning.

the prisoner was treated according to the Geneva Convention guidelines. he/she was given food,(i gave him/her some cheddar along with a bit of turkey breast.)water, and was allowed use of lavatory facilities(he/she crapped in the box i held him/her in.)while being interrogated about the if, and where of the position of his/her cohorts hiding places... he/she was a rock. he/she didn't provide any information whatsoever.

feeling as the mission was, in its relative entirety, a success, the prisoner was released on his/her own recognizance free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment.

and that's the way it is... we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhGeH07lo5M

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:55pm.

LOL Weezy, I read that as "share" not "shave"!

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:48pm.

@ Foxxy..thanks, ya I'm just waiting to hear the results of his tests. I'm not sure if they're going to keep him in or I have to pick him up, I'll know soon. Hopefully he's just banged up and sore and there are no internal issues.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:45pm.

Dog, I have taken a solemn vow to never shave anyones ass. So we're cool. ;-)

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:34pm.

Weezy, don't you know it starts with an ass grab? Then the next thing I know, you're offering to shave his ass and then who knows where it goes from there?? No peen. NO. Mine.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:31pm.

Dog, what's a friendly ass grab between friends?

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:29pm.

Weezy, you back right off NOW!!!!!

Whamo, you need a massage.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:28pm.

Several of our execs were down in Florida last week for a conference and they got that norovirus. Barfing and diarrhea and dehydration. They had to charter a jet to get them home because no airline would let them board.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:27pm.

Poor Whamo. :-( Would it make you feel better if I let you grab my ass?

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:27pm.

Doggie.... heck ya that would be great, I love chicken noooders zoop! :) :D

I went to make myself something to eat but the damn chills got to me so I jumped back on the couch, made a little "tent" with my blanket and let the heater bake me. Seriously I have this heater right under me. Lol

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:23pm.

@Whamo -- positive thoughts for your friend, and you feel better too!

as i said a day or so ago January 2013 has been a bitch for a lot of dlisters

#virusfreesinceDecember2012

ETA: and i am 100% positive it is United Airlines' fault that you are ill. you know those trifling fucks don't disinfect those planes

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:13pm.

Whamo, I hope you feel better. Want some homemade chicken soup? Wiff noodles?

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 8:06pm.

Doggie, I just caught that bug on Friday! Everyone around me as well caught it and I was doing fine until I got back from my trip. I'm on the couch with the chills and a little space heater blasting on me. I'm not too bad just a bit weak and dizzy(er) when I get up and it's in my chest a bit. Hopefully it doesn't get any worse. As you say Ebola, I know people that have been fighting it for weeks so I might be lucky, it doesn't seem to have gotten worse anyway.

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 7:40pm.

I hope he will be okay, Whamdiddy.

Male Dog and the pups ALL have the Ebola-cold. I'm the last one standing and am fighting off all germs with wooden spoons and a wire whisk. This is not cool. I refuse to get sick.

How're you otherwise?

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 7:34pm.

@ Doggie...ya they'll do a whole series of scans and xrays for sure, it's a good hospital he's at.

So everything good in your world:)?

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 01/26/2013 - 7:23pm.

Whamo, I hope they do a CT scan because if he can't remember much, he may have a head injury. :-(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org