Taylor Swift Has Made Out With A Snail Before
Radar said a couple of weeks ago that Harry Styles booked Taylor Swift a seat on the S.S. Bye Bitch, because he's full of 18-year-old hormones and can't stop humping stuff (Note: Yeah, that fluffy thing that ran by and humped your leg for five seconds. That was Harry Styles) and she's a prude who wouldn't give up the panty as much as he wanted. But maybe Taylor Swift hardly ever slid naked onto home plate with Harry Styles, because his first base skills made her spit up snail slime.
Jenna B (the girl with bacne who sits in front of you in 10th grade English) told Ashley (the girl with the worst split ends EVER who sits next to Jenna B) who told Megan (the girl who gave Ashley's boyfriend a handjob at a party, I don't even know why they talk!) who told Star Magazine (via HL) that Taylor Swift got the icks every time she put her lips on Harry's lips. Taylor is telling her friends that he "kissed like a snail. Eventually Taylor found it hard not to be grossed out.”
What does a snail kiss like exactly....
One time when I still lived at my mom's house, I came home drunk during the Hour of the Snails (aka like 4am) and I forgot my key. So I laid down on the concrete in the front yard and watched a snail slither on by. I thought about it, but I never made out with that snail, so I have no idea what it's like to suck on a snail's face. Worms, however, are all tongue. I shouldn't have told you that. Hide the plant butter before you get any ideas.
And I'm sure Harry Styles would say that kissing Taylor Swift is a lot like sucking a burp out of a parakeet's ass.
In other Swifty gossip you just need to know, a source tells Radar (the same ones who said Harry dumped her for keeping her legs shut) that she doesn't know if she can ever trust Harry again, because she believes he cheated on her:
“She thought he was cheating on her when they were apart over the holidays so she ended it, telling him she couldn’t be in a relationship with someone like that. Harry protested that he never did anything wrong, and that’s why Taylor is trying right now to give him the benefit of the doubt and trying to work things out with him. But his reputation precedes him and it’s hard to believe Taylor will ever be able to fully trust Harry because the ladies just throw themselves at him and he does nothing to temper that."
Taylor shouldn't be so hard on Harry even if he did cheat. Every time he'd try to kiss her, she'd throw salt at him and every time he'd stick his hand down her panties, he'd find nothing but a large pile of Sluggo in there. What else what he was supposed to do?
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Taylor Swifts' first album disintegrate onto the country music scene, and was soon organism played on pop music radio stations Taylor Swift Facebook Page roughly the country. She displayed a talent for attractive lyrics and responsiveness outside her years while still maintaining the incorruptibility of her age.
You all better check yourselves talkin about snails and cooties and chitlins and serial killers (side eye to my homegirl GG). Some troll got his/her panties on a twisty knot when we got off topic in another thread Someone seriously needs a midol.
I'm sure her "people" are scrambling to re-do her image for the next cd. How much y'all wanna bet she will be the new Alanis circa 1995? It would be funny if she made an explicit "You Oughta Know" type song about one of her ex jump-offs, but something tells me what will be left of her rapidly aging "fanbase" would be repulsed at a description of explicit theatre-lovin' with Mayer, Styles, Kennedy or Gyllenhaal. Wasn't Dave Coulier bad enough with the original?
I am afraid to ask...but do chitlins smell like poop? :(
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by feelsblind on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 5:16pm.
Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 3:18pm.
you cannot pay me to eat chitlins. The smell is enough to make you puke and when you find out what they are... *gag*
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I will GLADLY take your portion along with my own. Give me a bottle of hot sauce, vinegar and potato salad with cornbread on the side??? Oh! Oh! Oh! That's good eatin'. :-)
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fuck u dan snyder.
The Mail says that Katie Holmes uses snail gunk on her face. I sense a snail trend...
I have no sympathy for this girl. She's being called to the mat for her very public, attention-seeking behavior. She's upset that no one thinks it's all sweet and innocent and that no one feels a bit sorry for her, break-up after break-up. Now she's all wounded b/c she and her handlers are realizing that they miscalculated and that she's come across as a joke. Kanye was onto something when he snatched that award.
Submitted by feelsblind on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 5:16pm.
you cannot pay me to eat chitlins. The smell is enough to make you puke and when you find out what they are... *gag*
So I've heard, buddy! But, I am glad that in most cultures - if you're gonna kill an animal - eat ALL of it. Nothing goes to waste.
Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 3:18pm.
you cannot pay me to eat chitlins. The smell is enough to make you puke and when you find out what they are... *gag*
Remember Calvin's club in the Calvin & Hobbes Cartoons....G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS)? This reminds me of that, for some reason.
ah good times....those cartoons were pure genius.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Submitted by ewesocrazy on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 4:36pm.
Johnnysgirl, that was disturbing, gross, and absolutely fascinating! I love it.
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Right? Part of me is like "That is eerily beautiful" and the other part is like "but I'm looking at glowing snail penises!" snort
Johnnysgirl, that was disturbing, gross, and absolutely fascinating! I love it.
This is the most nonsensical post ever, but it's still cracking me up.
OMG! Like wow, this post, omg, fur realz M.K. it's beautiful!!
"Worms are all tongue" who knew?
"...a large pile of Sluggo in there" ahahahaha of course!
Submitted by ewesocrazy on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 3:19pm.
I've never seen snails kiss, but seen some snail porn in a documentary-- Microcosmos. Snails get down, they don't give a fuck, dirty little hermaphrodites.
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I lOVE Microcosmos - one of my favorite films.
However, the best footage of snails mating is this clip of Leopard Slugs. It is fucking SURREAL. I am not kidding. Just watch O.O
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhVi4Z6CjZk
Ugh, I'm so sick of Swiffer and her crapulent music. We make fun of her for acting like a boy-crazy teenager, but then the media has to be all on top of whatever new guy she's "dating."
She's like the salt on his snail lips and it would get all foamy. Like a McDonald's milkshake you forgot so it's still foamy but hot and weird now.
I've never seen snails kiss, but seen some snail porn in a documentary-- Microcosmos. Snails get down, they don't give a fuck, dirty little hermaphrodites.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 2:31pm.
I just cant with the texture. Cant with menudo.
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If your childhood was anything like mine, you probably ate your share of organ meats!!! Lengua was a popular one in our house! My mom says since she got cancer, she can't tolerate the smell of the tripas for menudo so she never makes it anymore. If you have friends from the south, they'll tell you the same about chitlins - hella stinky when cooking!
Chinese Fortune Teller!
Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:21pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:09pm.
that paper thing where you write guys names and numbers on the paper then fold it up so you can use your fingers to open it in different directions and see how many months you would spend with each guy so you pick the guy you get the most months with
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Yeah, did those paper thingys have a proper name?
What mature 23-year-old talks about bad kissing and getting grossed out? She must date teens because that's her developmental level.
Thanks to @Lisbet for asking the 'aloe vera' and 'jojoba' questions! I had heard of Roberts & the t-shirts nonsense, but I wasn't sure of the meaning.
Luci - that's the first time that I've seen that t-shirt paired with her outfit. Homewrecking skank needs to focus more on not wearing up to the navel jeans from 1992 paired with combat boots and a 'period' sweater instead of insulting a married woman who just suffered a miscarriage whose husband she was fucking. Slag.
That whole post was nothing but poetry and fuckery. Fake marry me Michael K!
At 23 years old she's too old to still be singing about the poor me break up songs of a 16 year old heart broken teenager.
oh, to be a twenty three year old girl with a completely contrived persona, living off of millions of dollars brought by studio musicians, producer's mixings, business executives, and writings on par of an eleven year old... it really does appear to be the things that dreams are made of... to quote a great talent(Phil Hartman... you are missed)... "good times, good times"
i'm beginning to wish that Kanye shived her while interrupting her... two birds, one stone, and all.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
ME, my ma did the same thing...gak!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/24/13
My two BOYS play with them. *shrug* IDK, they make them in class.
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It's harmless and probably really good for developing hand-eye coordination.
Swift's one to talk, considering she looks like a damn praying mantis.
I'm over this stunt queen, Bitch thinks she is the next Jackie O, Dump that virgin queen persona bitch, we know your chomping on peen every chance you get.
GG - I had no problem with Menudo, I was blissfully unaware of it's ingredients until a friend decided to inform me one evening.
Never. Again.
Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 2:31pm.
M.E., I'm amazed contemporary kids still play with "cootie cstchers," & such things; they're so tech savvy nowadays.
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My two BOYS play with them. *shrug* IDK, they make them in class. Of course they don't have the same things in them as say a girls cootie catcher would, but....and then again, my oldest is very into origami so maybe that has something to do with it?
yyyaaaasssss!!! "cootie catcher!!!" thank you to all! lmao
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I can just see it now "He Kissed Like a Snail" will be the next ghanham-style craze, thanks to this bot's music machine.
Can't Goop perform an intervention on Swifty....erp, I guess that's what this is. Spin Zone.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
I just cant with the texture. Cant with menudo unless someone fishes out the bits of cow stomache for me. I am a lousy carnivore.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
M.E., I'm amazed contemporary kids still play with "cootie catchers," & such things; they're so tech savvy nowadays.
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:06pm.
Submitted by SFRBully on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:02pm.
"The Jerk" was on a couple of weekends ago, when DirecTv was giving free HBO, Showtime, Cinemax. It was the first time in ages I saw the unedited version. It is still as funny as it was when it came out in 1979.
"And waiter! No more of that old wine from the 60's! Bring us some FRESH WINE with little umbrellas in the glass!"
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YES! Rewatching it as an adult is a treat, isn't it?
When the truck driver pulls over and says "St. Louis?"
"No, Navin Johnson."
hahahahah! It was subtle but I had to pause it b/c i couldn't stop laughing.
Wow, all this talk of food is making me realise how limited my tastes are. My line is tomatoes. I'd happily eat the same things day after day, just to not think about it.
Isn't this Styles child gay? Is Swifty sharing a PR flack with Beyonce? This is so make believe. Little girl, stop it! Just make your shitty music and keep it moving.
Escargot is heavenly, shut up.
I'll gather as many of those little mother fuckers for you Deb. I hate those bastards. Normally I use them to practice my fast ball.
Que chochina, damned frenchies! I go all Igor when I see them...heeh heeh hee heeh. My kids say that I am a serial killer and am out on a spree.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 2:10pm.
Thanks, Nikita, oh wise one!
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Not wise only wanted to know how you anglophones were calling them. It is called procrastination and google. :-P
I learned something too.
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿
For the nostalgics of "La Femme Nikita":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rw31I0KtZw
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 2:05pm.
^ eggzactly.
It's like chocolate covered crickets.
It's still a fucking cricket. I don't care if it's covered in Lindt white truffle chocolate, it's still a fucking cricket.
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Gross, I didn't even know that was a thing. Blech. I have a friend that swears that frog legs are the greatest things too, so one night I figured I'd try one. The sauce and spices they were prepared in was actually amazing but I just could not get past it. I used to think I was pretty open minded about food but it turns out that I have a really small comfort zone.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 2:06pm.
My kids call them the Cootie Catcher.
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By googling it, this seems also right. I guess there is not only one name to call these children games.
And when I was young we were calling them coin-coin (it is in French and maybe there are other french terms too to call these games so yeah.)
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿
For the nostalgics of "La Femme Nikita":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rw31I0KtZw
I can't figure out when this chick became insufferable to me. To think I rooted for her during the whole Kanye incident. Now the sight of her face makes my stabby.
Thanks, Nikita, oh wise one!
I can totally see how the texture of escargot can be a turn-off.
I can't with menudo. Morel mushrooms kind of skeeve me. Sea urchin is bizarre.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Nikitainthesection on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 2:04pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:09pm.
let me know after she consults her magic 8-ball, ouiji board and that paper thing where you write guys names and numbers on the paper then fold it up so you can use your fingers to open it in different directions and see how many months you would spend with each guy so you pick the guy you get the most months with
AND
Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:21pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:09pm.
that paper thing where you write guys names and numbers on the paper then fold it up so you can use your fingers to open it in different directions and see how many months you would spend with each guy so you pick the guy you get the most months with
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Yeah, did those paper thingys have a proper name?
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I think they are called Origami fortune teller.
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My kids call them the Cootie Catcher.
Submitted by tonicbitch on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 2:01pm.
Yeah I can't with escargot. I thought it actually tasted okay but I couldn't get over what it was.
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^ eggzactly.
It's like chocolate covered crickets.
It's still a fucking cricket. I don't care if it's covered in Lindt white truffle chocolate, it's still a fucking cricket.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:09pm.
let me know after she consults her magic 8-ball, ouiji board and that paper thing where you write guys names and numbers on the paper then fold it up so you can use your fingers to open it in different directions and see how many months you would spend with each guy so you pick the guy you get the most months with
AND
Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:21pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:09pm.
that paper thing where you write guys names and numbers on the paper then fold it up so you can use your fingers to open it in different directions and see how many months you would spend with each guy so you pick the guy you get the most months with
------------------
Yeah, did those paper thingys have a proper name?
__________________________________________________
I think they are called Origami fortune teller.
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿
For the nostalgics of "La Femme Nikita":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rw31I0KtZw
lol@M.E.
"Since she probably practiced kissing on the back of her hand"
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Hey, I confess to being guilty of that in junior high! I got better over time. ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson