Sheryl Crow started dating Lance Armstrong in 2003, so some think she obviously knew he was filling his veins up with EPO. It’s kind of hard to ignore that fact, because every time they had missionary sex, Lance’s Hulk-like dick lifted Sheryl’s body two feet above the bed. But if Sheryl knew, she didn’t say anything then and she’s not saying anything now. Sheryl talked to Entertainment Tonight about the whole doping scandal and she kept her answers vague, only saying that she feels “bad” that Lance has to give up the titles he worked so hard to get (insert michelleobamaeyeroll.gif here). One of the people who blew the whistle on the doped-up douchebag in Spandex shorts isn’t letting Sheryl Crow get away and is yanking at that bitch’s hair for keeping her lips shut the entire time.
Betsy Andreu, the wife of one of Lance’s fellow dopers, tells The Daily Mail that she thinks it’s sick and weak of Sheryl Crow to not say anything when she could’ve saved a lot of his accusers from being attacked by him. Betsy let out this anti-Stand By Your Man anthem to the Mail:
“Are you kidding me? She was his fiancé. She surely knew what was going on. She could have helped other people. I am appalled and ashamed at how weak women were in this whole saga. It is an embarrassment. Sheryl was by his side when he was trying to destroy people and she said nothing. That’s unconscionable. I mean it just astounds me. You should know people are telling the truth and you’re silent. It’s sick. My God she was engaged to the guy. She, like so many other women, did not speak up. If they went through what we went through, would they want somebody to speak up? She could have done something. Somebody should ask Sheryl ‘did you see the blood tranfusions? Were drugs ever stored in your home? Did you see any of that in your house?’”
GOOD GOD GIRL GET A GRIP. At least Lance never called you fat! Lance called you crazy, called you a bitch, but he never called you fat! What more do you want? Do you want him to say you look good in those jeans? Okay, Lance thinks you look good in those jeans. There!
And in that picture above, I know that thing on Sheryl’s dress is a snake (how appropriate), but the part on the left looks more like a gilded circumcised peen to me. I would.