The Mother Of Hawkeye’s Unborn Hawk Baby Is A 22-Year-Old Canadian Model

When Jeremy Renner told Eva Longoria on the smoking patio at the Golden Globes that he gave his ex-girlfriend a surprise case of the BABIES!!!, he told everybody, because some nosy-eared witness heard it and spread the news to UsWeekly (or Eva Longoria’s ass gave the news to UsWeekly in exchange for a “best” label in their extremely important Best & Worst Beach Bodies issue). Not much was known about Jeremy’s ex-girlfriend, but then the highly skilled womb diggers at The National Enquirer (via Radar) went to work and found out that the future mother of Baby Hawkeye is 22-year-old model Sonni Pacheco from Vancouver. We shouldn’t be surprised about this shit, because aren’t they ALWAYS 22-year-old models?

A supposed friend of Jeremy’s tells the Enquirer that Sonni is living with him and his “roommate” at his home in L.A. and he’s taking care of her while she’s baking the baby they made. The friend went on to say, “Jeremy is delighted he’s going to become a dad. He realizes it’s unconventional to have his baby mama, an ex-girlfriend, living with him and his roommate, but he just doesn’t care.”

So to recap: Jeremy, his “roommate” and his knocked up ex-piece are all living in the same house and I’m guessing that house is his $25 million flip that looks like a cross between the Rocketeer’s lair and the fanciest Restoration Hardware store you’ve ever seen.

I thought that when you become a multi-millionaire movie star, the first thing you do is drop your roommate and those rough ass towels from Ikea that scrubbed a layer off your skin every time you dried off with them. But I guess not. I mean, roommate?!

Now I’m not saying that Jeremy’s situation is some New Normal shit, but when are we going to get to the part when we meet Sonni’s ultra conservative, Cindy McCain-like, ice queen of a grandmother and her daughter who does a dead-on impersonation of Little Edie from Grey Gardens? Because they’re my favorite part of the story.

And here’s some of Sonni’s extremely professional and elegant modeling pictures. Sonni is giving us some Barbizon: After Dark glamour and then some.