Thursday, January 24th 2013
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For January 23rd!
Dozens turn out for the premiere of Cirque du Scientology. - Eggbeater
Runners-up:
It's been over 3 decades but the Red Hot Chili Peppers still have it. - Emeriesan
Much to the chagrin of doubters, it turns out that there really IS a healthy market for drive-thru lunch hour anal bleaching. - BaconSlut
At today's Senate hearing, John McCain provided his response to Hillary Clinton's ambiguous explanation for the debacle that occurred last year in Benghazi. - Señor Loco
via Izismile
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This is Lance Armstrong on dope.
Beyonce leaks pictures of her giving birth to Blue Ivy. Many suspect they are fake too.
"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men
and then, he farted ...
That sheer terrifying moment when you realize you're doing your sexy flying splits and John Hamm is right there sitting in the front row.
Cirque du So-ghey was surprisingly popular in Russia.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
Wow, he really IS a virgin!
There goes Greg, looking like a complete asshole again.
David Miscavige feigns surprise that he himself has advanced to to quarterfinals of the Church of $cientology's Finding Mrs. Cruise games.
For Kim Kardashian it was clear who her Lamaze coach should be.
RueBoo
The new gymnastics move called "The Whitney": Kiss My Ass.
Tom Cruise quits Scientology and lets loose on Anderson Cooper's show to let Anderson know how he REALLY feels about him.
In former Soviet Union balls lick YOU!
A publicity still from Leslie Nielsen's unfinished movie The Naked Gun Moscow.
T-Rex tried to make us all believe he was mad at Lance Armstrong for lying, but these photos tell us otherwise.
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I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record
Finally got Lance Armstrong's head out of his @ss!!
The next Scientology exposé promises pictures that show exactly how Tommy Girl and David Miscavaige celebrate once a new beard is found.
ABC's new reality show: "Gymnastics With Richard Simmons".
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I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record
STOP! I HAD CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA LAST NIGHT!
Planking is so 2012
Lance Armstrong is about to find out what happens to guests that lie to Oprah!
There was a CT like this maybe 5 years ago? Same faux CCCP troupe but not Leslie Nielsen's face.
A devastated Lance Armstrong,forbidden from cycling and having defected to Russia shows Oprah exactly where to kiss him goodbye with help of one of his new gymnastics teammates.
http://13-mitred-abbots.tumblr.com/
Cameron, here is an illustration of number 5 in the list I gave you. How to perform your own colonic in GOOP fashion. Do this once a month.
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Iron does the body good.
Do they not have slings in Russia?
the TODAY campaign, to prove matt lauer wasn't the world's biggest asshole, was kicked off outside at Rockefeller Center today.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Gigilos Brace & Jimmy decide give swinging a try
Finally, John Travolta's rider demands for a red carpet were interpreted correctly.
When reached for comment about the Beyonce lip synching scandal, Mitt Romney briefly pulled his head out of his ass but could only offer this surprised reaction.
Brace, from the tv show, Gigolos is such a stunt queen that he has to literally prove what an asshole he is.
Finally able to be themselves, the boy-banders in "The Package Tour" make the moms wish they were at a Bieber concert.
Payback's a bitch Lance.
Kim was just devastated that somebody else's ass was getting more attention than hers.
And this is only the first day of the Goop Life Coach No Sex for a Year Program.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Billy Ray and Miley morning exercises.
Include me out.
DUDE! YOU ALMOST HAD SEX WITH LINDSAY LOHAN!
Sex du Soleil was having tryouts at the Letterman Show today!
Airline pilot John Travolta has the weirdest damn airport ground crew giving directions when he pulls that thing up to the gate.
Which one do you prefer Mr. Travolta and will send that right off to you.
Justin Theroux's favorite drinking game is pretending to give birth in front of Jennifer Aniston.
Objects In The Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are
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It's been over 3 decades but the Red Hot Chili Peppers still have it.
While Pussy Riot are still in jail, Disorder Crotch are pretty much everywhere.
Include me out.
Oprah will not rest until the whole world sees how she fucked over Lance Armstrong.
After seeing this particular move, Marcus Bachmann bought season tickets to "Cirque Du Soleil."
The cover art for the new volume of the Kama Sutra
I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing Sting perform Tantric Sex.
All set for Pin The Tail On The Donkey at the Scientology summer picnic.
Dozens turn out for the premiere of Cirque du Scientology.
Everybody was over the moon with their performance.
Goopy's first lesson for Cameron Diaz's transformation: The importance of putting your head up your ass.