Brangelina’s Child Army Might Be Adding A New Recruit

January 23, 2013 / Posted by:

Dlisted’s BABIES!!! tag has been overworked lately, so let’s just overwork it all the way. No 15 minute bong break for you, BABIES!!! tag.

If the tabloids aren’t saying that Brad Pitt and St. Angie lied to us all by getting married when all gay people can’t get married yet, they’re saying that they broke up and if they’re not saying that they broke up, then they’re saying that they’re one fetus closer to taking down the Duggars. This week, Star Magazine is going with the last one.

It’s been over 4 years since a fetus has moved into the holy baby rectory in St. Angie Jo’s body, and now some source (aka Maddox and Zahara cranking again) told Star (via Hollywood Life) that she has dusted off her uterus and pulled the white sheets off of the furniture, because she is knocked up again. The source says that Angie has been waiting a long time to add a 7th member to their child army, but Brad wasn’t having it, because the last thing he wanted was another child yanking on his greasy mop while he’s trying to have a quiet and intimate moment with his Vaporizer. But the source says that whether Brad likes it or not, another chosen one will land on earth soon. Brad is apparently telling his friends that they’re having another boy:

“Angelina has been talking about having another child for years now. But Brad kept putting his foot down because of their intense schedules and chaotic lifestyle. She’s focusing on the other children right now, trying to prepare them for the new baby. Shiloh has even determined that the baby’s name must be John.”

The source had me until the “John” part. Like Shiloh is really going to give up the name she gave to herself. The new kid’s going to have to win that name in a rubber knife fight against Shiloh. Besides, if Angie is eating for one now and if she’s having a boy, I hope he comes out Asian and I hope they do the right thing by giving him a name that ends with X (examples: Twix, FedEx, Zerofux, Anthrax, etc…). That way Pax, Maddox and the new baby X can start an Asian boy band in the far future and call it The Triple X.

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