Tuesday, January 22nd 2013

London, Paris, Milan!

If you're in Barcelona and thought that your city was under attack by a herd of rabid goats, there's no need  to sit in fear and wait until they chew you alive. It wasn't a herd of rabid goats, it was just Shakira letting out a goat wail while giving birth to her first kid (see what I did there?). Shakira and her big peened piece Gerard Piqué are parents to a baby boy who weighed in at 6lbs. 6oz. Somebody posted this announcement on Shakira's website today:

We are happy to announce the birth of Milan Piqué Mebarak, son of Shakira Mebarak and Gerard Piqué, born January 22nd at 9:36pm, in Barcelona, Spain.

The name Milan (pronounced MEE-lahn), means dear, loving and gracious in Slavic; in Ancient Roman, eager and laborious; and in Sanskrit, unification.

Just like his father, baby Milan became a member of FC Barcelona at birth.

The hospital confirmed that the couple’s first child weighed approximately 6lbs. 6 ounces, and that both mother and child are in excellent health.

I see them trying to act like they named Milan after a Slavic meaning, but they can't fool me. Minutes before Shakira shook Baby Milan out of her body (like this), a long table with RuPaul and the other RuPaul's Drag Race judges behind it rolled out and RuPaul announced, "London, Paris, MEE-LAHN!" And out sashayed Baby Milan. They didn't name Milan after a Slavic meaning. They named Milan after Milan from Drag Race, obviously. Your hips might not lie, Shakira, but your baby name announcements do!

Posted by: Michael K


aniluapss's picture

LOL @shandi Piqué is not his "middle name" it is his FIRST last name, and Shakira's is his second last name. like all Spanish and Latin people in the world, we all have two last names.

And I think the name is not after the city as they didn't name him Milán (emphasis in "lan") instead they named him Milan (emphasis in "Mee")

Isn't it possible that famous people can show different side of themselves to various people at various times? I mean, shit, I would hate for people to get together and judge me for my many moods but then I would just shrug if off by claiming too many planets in Pisces in my chart! LMAO!

I think Shakira is gorgeous. She reminds me of the mixed people in Miami - Lebanese and Colombian, Cuban and Lebanese, Argentinian and Norwegian, etc. I like European looking women, like her and Asia Argento, another of my favorite beauty icons. People like Amanda Seyfried bore me, also the overly tanned, fake plastic look. Snore.

ItsBritneyBitches's picture

hey mongoose - if you're not lying, then please explain to me why she was being such an attetion whore thoughout her pregnancy?

mongoose's picture

Shakira is one of the nicest, most genuine people I've met...I've also worked with plenty of celebrities (I was Michael Levine's assistant - Michael Jackson, Cameron Diaz, Paris Hilton were among our clients) and she was completely down to earth, funny, charismatic & intelligent. Out of all of the celebrities I've met/worked with, she's without a doubt one of the nicest. She always has time for her fans, at several events she would take pictures/sign autographs with anyone that asked her, even when her own security detail/entourage didn't want her to/told fans they weren't allowed to...she went ahead and took the time to greet, take pictures & even converse with her fans. I don't know what Shakira you've met, but to me she was completely genuine/sweet.

Miss Malevolent's picture

That looks painful...ugh...not one ounce of motherly instinct in me...

shandi's picture

First thing I noticed was that the baby got Shakira's last name and the father's last name as his middle name. Interesting.

As preggo as she is in this picture, I'm really surprised her boobs aren't huge.

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

MissJaneTexas's picture

Submitted by LA me on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 9:06pm.

My friend was hired to help let out her costumes when she came through NYC on her tour. She was not allowed to look, speak and or be in the same room with her. She said she was a RAGING C U Next Tuesday.

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

chaka1's picture

That daddy is hot! yum...

ewesocrazy's picture

But Milan ain't got nothin' on Blue Ivy if she didn't float out of her Mama's vagina on a sensual cloud, swathed in a sparkly ethereal mist.

Lucy Goosey's picture

Enough of these pregnant photos, nip slips and crotch shots. We've become a culture of over sharing and voyeurism.

It must stop.

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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.

loopygorilla's picture

omg she's a she wolf in closet let her out so she can breathe!
her hips don't lie. seriously.
lucky her breasts are small and humble so i didnt confuse them with mountains.
i hope the baby has strong legs like his mother, so he can run for cover when he needs to.

Milan ...... not a bad name!!

Thamar's picture

Mazel tov. Beautiful couple. But can't stand these tasteless photoshoots. Demi Moore it's all your fault!

cripbabe's picture

alright, already - enough with these "look at me, I'm pregnant" nekkid belly pictures. who gives a fat fuck that you're breeding? truth is, IT'S BEEN DONE BEFORE, BITCHES...

NEXT...

Mrs Patrick Campbell's picture

What is that gorgeous young homosexual doing with that icky stinkfish?

Yuck!

Boring. I was hoping they'd go with "Escandalo."

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A Lannister always pays his debts.

WithinReason...'s picture

Big congrats to them! She's dickmatized and he's Piquématized. Perfect. And her hip shaking' sure is nice! *shake shake shake* so is he, yum. ;p

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Congrats Shaki!!!! Felicidades por tu bebe!!!

Anita Bidet's picture

That's gonna be one sexy baby

Puppy Love's picture

He looks like the baseball player Jose Bautista aka Joey Bats.

I never minded her all that much.

warmislandsun's picture

Shakira looks like Jami Gertz in a bad blonde wig. I refuse to believe they are not one in the same.

Zorba-the-Geek's picture

Submitted by LA me on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 9:06pm.

I work with celebs on a daily basis. The one question I get asked a lot is who is the worst client you have worked with....

Answer: THIS BITCH HERE!!

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Do tell!

Btw, 6 pounds ain't that small if you're also small. My son was only 6 pounds, 5 ounces but the doctor made a small incision so he could come outta my body. I didn't feel it at the time but man did that sting like a motherfucker later.

Esteem's picture

She looked pretty pregnant. Congrats to them. Milan is a nice name as well.

Bunny Rabbit's picture

Submitted by Athina on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 8:52pm.

Mazel tov! But dang, girl, aren't you supposed to get some titties or something when you're THAT preggers?
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We've gotten so used to seeing huge, fake, plasic udders pass for breasts nowadays that we forget that there are women out there with petite sized boobs. Even pregnant woman and nursing women don't necessarily grow huge in that area. And now you know.

JimiJanisJim's picture

Im smaller than this bitch and my babies were 9 pounders....they had to cut me open to get them out. I was one of those unfortunate women that would have died in childbirth. Thank God for modern medicine. And thank God i had them when you could get a great OB.

Bunny Rabbit's picture

Milan is a nice name, but not over the top crazy or original. I used to go to high school with a Milan. He was VERY cute.

LMA618's picture

The last place playing her music is Kmart. I could barely shop for undies from the yodeling.

Bunny Rabbit's picture

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 7:03pm.

Only 6 lbs? She was pretty big towards the end. My son hit 6 lbs in a month after being born at 3 pounds at 2 months premature and he had another month to be full term! So I find 6 at full term small.
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6 pounds is perfectly within average range, especially when you're a small woman like Shakira.

enough with the pregnant celeb photos. who gives a shit. they only look so good because they have trainers, makeup artists, personal chefs, blah blah blobbedly blah blah. sick of these photos. we all know 99% of these couples won't be together in a couple of years.

LA me's picture

I work with celebs on a daily basis. The one question I get asked a lot is who is the worst client you have worked with....

Answer: THIS BITCH HERE!!

Dropped her ass off at her hotel after the award show and told my boss to send someone else over to take her to the after parties, I'd had enough.

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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria

6 lbs, 6.6 ounces. Translation = 666

Athina's picture

Mazel tov! But dang, girl, aren't you supposed to get some titties or something when you're THAT preggers?

Janetrenowins's picture

She always made my gini tingle in ways that made the hubs jealous. But then I listened to her music with the speakers off. Grats to her.

Possum's picture

She looks good, but I am so tired of the exposed belly pics preg women do. No one wants to see that and no one else is basking in your mom glow. Cut it out.

"Just like his father, baby Milan became a member of FC Barcelona at birth."

ugh. poor bastard.

Hekki's picture

Submitted by chlyn: "Why is she wearing a 10-year-old's bra?"

LMFPO!!! She IS!

However, felicidades to the happy parents.

nunya_bizness's picture

He'll probably go by Milo.

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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Thanks paquita and angeluz. I was not sure what they were doing there, and thought it was some odd celebrity thing.

At least he is not named Celery Scientist.

Naughychimp's picture

Don't care about either of them but wish them & their wee bubba well enough.

didimao's picture

Am I the only one who thinks of the movie Milan, when you read his name?

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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09

Daniee's picture

Congrats people I do not care about.

misslainey's picture

I like her, and they look happy. Congrats!

Hairy Back Mary's picture

I swear I thought I read an article a few months ago saying they were planning on naming the kid Biel, and people commented that she was naming it after Jessica Biel. I'm glad they changed their minds though, what a shit name that would have been.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 7:42pm.
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Nah, sorry, but I love vuvuzelas as all these annoying soccer-fans who usually get on my nerves were pissed. I had a lot of fun during that worldcup - though I didn't watch one single game, I just watched the news in which everybody was complaining about the vuvuzelas.
I did watch one soccergame though, spartak vs dynamo moscow in moscow - that was fun - not so much because of the players (I was for the ones in blue - they lost) but because the people and everything was fun. I didn't feel the need to go to another game though.

Shakira looking like a basic bitch , non-factor hoe, who cares?
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Don't start none and the'll be none.

Angeluz_4ever's picture

Impertinent in Latin America & Spain we used both our parents last name not only the father's. I found weird that celebrities in the USA make the mothers original last name as a middle name for the children
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In bullshitanese, "no comment" means "fuck yes." Michael K

Uncle Brain-fart's picture

Tomahawk , please tell me you are a fellow soccer junkie. I have every intention taking the summer of 2014 off due to the Worldcup.

Congrats! Thanks for the video, MK; I would go gay for Shakira. P.S. my full-term baby was 6 lbs., so it's not impossible. Small people have small babies -- makes sense.

chlyn's picture

Why is she wearing a 10-year-old's bra?

God, MK, you're chatty today, I barely find the time to read what YOU wrote - which would've been a pity on Beyonce's Baby post as your writing was awesome.

On topic: Shakira is one of those I really liked and of whom I feel uncertain now. I don't get why she sang the official African Football/Soccer Worldcup hymne. I would've declined. They must have some halfway decent singers in that country. And then they went that far to take their vuvuzelas. I still have one, though they're now illegal around here.

Edit: Spelling and stuff, in case someone wonders.