Lindsay Lohan Thinks She’s Too Good For Dancing With The Has-Beens

January 22, 2013 / Posted by:

Here’s a picture that Lindsay Lohan Instagrammed of her scissoring her nose as her latest stalking victim Max George screams for help while his ankle is shackled to the bed. Or maybe that’s one of LiLo’s demons showing itself. LiLo’s demon would wear a hoodie from American Apparel.

Even though Charlie Sheen gave LiLo $100,000 and she supposedly gets paid thousands of dollars to give lazy hand jobs to rich men, she still owes the IRS a mountain of cash and if you looked inside the ash tray in your car, you’d find more money than she has in her checking account. So you’d think that when someone waves a half a million dollar check at her, she’d grab it and head directly for the nearest check cashing place. But TMZ says that the producers of Dancing with the Stars did wave a half million dollar check at her and bitch turned it down, because she wants nothing to do with reality TV.

A source says that the producers of Dancing with the Has-Beens have been at LiLo for a while. Their offer got bigger and bigger and bigger, and they stopped at $550,000, which she said no to. The source says that LiLo thinks she can still make movies and so she’s staying away from reality TV.

If this is true, then Lindsay Lohan has once again certified herself as a bona fide dumb bitch for queefing on easy money. All she would have to do is smoke a cigarette in the middle of the stage while her partner danced around her. Bitch wouldn’t even have to show up to rehearsals and she wouldn’t even have to stand upright long enough to do the first cha in the Cha Cha Cha. Since America’s favorite spectator sport is watching slow moving car crashes, she’d be voted through every week and probably win the whole thing. Shit, Melissa Rycroft won for doing a lot less.

But this story smells like a red plastic party cup full of cigarette butts, so I’m sure White Oprah made it up to make it look like LiLo is getting and turning down huge offers. DWTS would probably offer Lennay Kekua $550,000 before they offered Lindsay Lohan $550,000. On a related note, where do I sign the petition begging the producers of DWTS to get Lennay Kekua?

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