Lindsay Lohan Thinks She's Too Good For Dancing With The Has-Beens
Here's a picture that Lindsay Lohan Instagrammed of her scissoring her nose as her latest stalking victim Max George screams for help while his ankle is shackled to the bed. Or maybe that's one of LiLo's demons showing itself. LiLo's demon would wear a hoodie from American Apparel.
Even though Charlie Sheen gave LiLo $100,000 and she supposedly gets paid thousands of dollars to give lazy hand jobs to rich men, she still owes the IRS a mountain of cash and if you looked inside the ash tray in your car, you'd find more money than she has in her checking account. So you'd think that when someone waves a half a million dollar check at her, she'd grab it and head directly for the nearest check cashing place. But TMZ says that the producers of Dancing with the Stars did wave a half million dollar check at her and bitch turned it down, because she wants nothing to do with reality TV.
A source says that the producers of Dancing with the Has-Beens have been at LiLo for a while. Their offer got bigger and bigger and bigger, and they stopped at $550,000, which she said no to. The source says that LiLo thinks she can still make movies and so she's staying away from reality TV.
If this is true, then Lindsay Lohan has once again certified herself as a bona fide dumb bitch for queefing on easy money. All she would have to do is smoke a cigarette in the middle of the stage while her partner danced around her. Bitch wouldn't even have to show up to rehearsals and she wouldn't even have to stand upright long enough to do the first cha in the Cha Cha Cha. Since America's favorite spectator sport is watching slow moving car crashes, she'd be voted through every week and probably win the whole thing. Shit, Melissa Rycroft won for doing a lot less.
But this story smells like a red plastic party cup full of cigarette butts, so I'm sure White Oprah made it up to make it look like LiLo is getting and turning down huge offers. DWTS would probably offer Lennay Kekua $550,000 before they offered Lindsay Lohan $550,000. On a related note, where do I sign the petition begging the producers of DWTS to get Lennay Kekua?
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Lindsay Lohan thinks she's above most things... Reality TV, showing up on time, respecting other peoples' possessions, the law...
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 3:15pm.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 1:52pm.
There's NO way this bitch could be counted on to show up for hours of physical rehearsal every day. She doesn't look like she's exercised a day in her life.
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The only times Lindsay showed an interest in exercise were her times in rehab when she was let out to work out at a gym (as if the rehab facility had no mean for people to exercise).
Agree with Trashy and Deb. She would never be able to handle the workouts. At this point with all the smoking and drinking her lungs would freak out.
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I'm sure the movie offers are just rolling in...eyerolls. Why can't there be a Dancing with Land Mines show?
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DWTC? This can't be true. Hasn't everyone given up on her already?
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
She turned down a chance to make $550k? When she owes the iRS at least that just from the 1m+ she made in 2012? I knew she was an idiot, but this really takes the cake.
If they'd like to offer me 550k for a few weeks of work, I'll be happy to supply them my contact info.
LOL @ TiredOldWhore - "the Raisinette." Hee hee
Ain't gonna happen. ABC is owned by Disneym and they had enough of Lilo when she went and got a boob job in the middle of filming that Herbie movie when she was 17.
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Shiitake happens...
i'd maybe watch if they had an all-Lohan Family DWTS. throw in a few exes and victims like Sam Ronson and the fur coat chick, that'd be fun.
Pssht, bitch wouldn't even make it to the first episode. DWTS requires effort and commitment, 2 words that are foreign to LiLo.
I'm sure Karina, Cheryl, Maxsim and the other pros let out a huge collective sigh of relief when they heard she turned down the offer. Can you imagine the horror of having to teach that bitch to dance? The real reason she turned it down is because she'd actually have to WORK...HARD for that $550K.
I'm holding out hope that the IRS will nail her Crackie ass and we won't have to hear about this ridiculous bullshit anymore. The Raisinette is full of shit, we already knew that, that tired old trick will be dumpster diving for cans pretty soon, LOL. Get That Money Bitch!!!
I find this Joran 2.0 boybander super creepy. I'm sure they have no relationship beyond sex, but still...
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 1:52pm.
There's NO way this bitch could be counted on to show up for hours of physical rehearsal every day. She doesn't look like she's exercised a day in her life.
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TRUTH there is no way in hell she would do all those rehearsals, not even for the attention she'd get for loosing weight. But she has exercised, way back in the day she used to be a pretty damn good dancer actually, better than Miley or Hillary Duff or Rhianna or whoever. Like when she hosted the MTV awards or the Rumors video (man she was pretty damn hot in that video)
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 1:52pm.
There's NO way this bitch could be counted on to show up for hours of physical rehearsal every day. She doesn't look like she's exercised a day in her life.
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The only times Lindsay showed an interest in exercise were her times in rehab when she was let out to work out at a gym (as if the rehab facility had no mean for people to exercise).
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I wondered where she had been. How is she getting around with no money? I thought the Irs froze everything? No doubt she will have her passport stolen somewhere in the next few weeks.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:33pm.
She's like that Texas billionaire who killed his neighbor, chopped her up and put her in hefty bags and still got off.
That dude moved a few years ago into a pricey Beverly Hills condo and started threatening his neighbors, the manager, the staff, etc. Everyone was too afraid to do anything about it. The owners all wanted to move but they'd have to disclose his presence when they tried to sell. I think he's also suspected in some other deaths.
I saw "Celebrity Diving" as "Celebrity Dumpster Diving".
The perfect show for the Low-an Clan
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You know what we call that!? MIND-TAKING, BABY! Accept NO substitutes!
With all the women that throw themselves at this guy, why her?????????????
TRUTH: That Max fellow is the high rent version of Joran Van Der Sloot. (you know, the Dutch guy who lived in Aruba and couldn't help but kill his lady friends because he's a sociopath.)
There's NO way this bitch could be counted on to show up for hours of physical rehearsal every day. She doesn't look like she's exercised a day in her life.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 1:34pm.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 1:04pm.
wait a sec... if she's "above reality t.v.", how did she make off with the bunch of furniture from that other "reality" show?...
that was not "reality t.v." because she didn't steal it while the cameras were rolling.
duh.
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hell, i'm surprised the crew didn't realize some cameras weren't "missing"... doesn't she have a "stolen sex tape" to be filmed soon?... it's beginning to look like her only option for "triumphant return" to cinema in her bullshit bag o tricks at this point, and she will surely need "free" equiptment to pull that off!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
She wouldn't do this show because it's actually work, and she can't stay sober long enough to work a few days straight.
And WO's real name is Donita Sullivan?! How the hell had I never heard that before. That's hilarious.
Anyone remember several years ago when the Lohan's were trying to get the media to refer to them as the Low-Ans????
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 1:04pm.
wait a sec... if she's "above reality t.v.", how did she make off with the bunch of furniture from that other "reality" show?...
that was not "reality t.v." because she didn't steal it while the cameras were rolling.
duh.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Doll-Parts on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 1:28pm.
I've never watched DWTS, but I would love to see her lazy, wheezy, bloated, toneless pancake ass shuffling through moves. I would pay to see it.
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Just rent 'I know who killed me', and by rent I mean steal off a torrent as there's no way that movie should make a dime of real money.
Ugh this miserable bitch! Now she's twitter name dropping Heath Ledger AND his child. She's just plain fucking awful. I used to "love to hate" her, now she just makes me sick.
" After an inquiry from The Post, a spokeswoman for Radio City called back to say an exhaustive search found no record of Dina Lohan, or Donata Sullivan (her maiden name), ever being a Rockette."
Donata? How many aliases does this grifter have?
I've never watched DWTS, but I would love to see her lazy, wheezy, bloated, toneless pancake ass shuffling through moves. I would pay to see it.
*"Honey, your reputation is SHIT in this town."*
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 1:09pm.
oooohhhh!!... i see how it works now... get the loot up front dosen't work when one has to show up... yep, forgot about that part.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
VERY good point, ESE.
But she backed out of appearing on that show, after she stole the furniture.
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I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record
Doesn't do reality TV, huh? She had no issues being a guest at the frauded pissytail wedding.
wait a sec... if she's "above reality t.v.", how did she make off with the bunch of furniture from that other "reality" show?... i really do believe that this chick makes up her reality between blackouts.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Soooooo....I take it she's still across the pond acting a fool?
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:33pm.
She's not going to jail. She could kill someone in her living room while showing it to the world live via Ustream and still not do a day in jail
so I shouldn't bother getting my hopes up for next week then? *pouts*
I was thinking the other day that she's a ticking timebomb mixing alcohol and scrips so I have that to hang on to I suppose. I was reading that today is the anniversary of Heath Ledger's death and crackie tweeted some RIP nonsense about how she misses him... I guess I wasn't following her crack shenanigans back then but were they boning back in the day?
The most pathetic thing about this stupid little whore is she's pushed away anyone who isn't a sycophant; everyone close to her is a yes person who agrees with everything she says. So, when she continues to make the worst decisions possible, like turning down paying roles that could get her out of hock or taking roles that expose what a truly horrid actress she is, they applaud her. "Good one, lindsay! Now, pass the booger sugar..."
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
She turned it down because it would require her to actually WORK. She would have be disciplined and extend energy on something other than getting f'd up and acting like a brain dead whore.
She would last one expisode max. There's no way she's actually going to do any work..
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
HA @ "Lilo's demon would wear a hoodie from American Apparel."
Submitted by Thornhill on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:30pm.
@ESE...UNO Peso...?
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yes, this deluded bitch will STILL be overcharging.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
She's not going to jail. She could kill someone in her living room while showing it to the world live via Ustream and still not do a day in jail. She's like that Texas billionaire who killed his neighbor, chopped her up and put her in hefty bags and still got off. Shut up, I saw a 20/20 about it.
Hey now MK..Melissa is my friend and she was awesome...leave her out of this!
Sorry Lohan you a has been now...
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
@ESE...UNO Peso...?
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:17pm.
Hahahahahahahahaa fucking George...
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Thornhill on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:20pm.
Yeah and octomom said she would never do pron...just a matter of time before Blohan is blowing the homeless behind the dumpster at her local 7-11 for Canadian quarters....
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how dare you!!... it will be for Peso, and i do mean that to be singular.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Sadly, I must agree with those who say she is not going to jail THIS TIME.
But I do think that her crimes will escalate, and one day they will catch up to her.
Yeah and octomom said she would never do pron...just a matter of time before Blohan is blowing the homeless behind the dumpster at her local 7-11 for Canadian quarters....
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:09pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:02pm.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 11:50am.
Hekki -- WO a Rockette? My ass! She's as delusional as the rest of that family. Crazy bitch.
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She's a graduate from the George Costanza school of thought: If you believe it then it really isn't a lie, is it? (that's the ep where Jerry gets his advice on how to beat a polygraph test)
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Good point, however, Cantstandya designed the new addition to the Guggenheim so he has tangible credibility.
he's also a marine biologist in his spare time Jack...
The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.....
;)
oh and you can see in her eyes in this pic she is soooo fucking thrilled that she is hanging out back with max again. GAWD she is sooo pathetic, he made you look like a fool and the minute he prolly couldn't get any of the good/bad shit he calls up your druggie ass and you come running
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Hello ESE, my darling!!!!
OT: If only they would let 15 non-violent offenders out of jail so Lindsay could serve a couple of years.
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I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record
as long as she stays away from my Maksim......
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
parissucksliterally on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:04pm.
Another day, another stupid move on Blowhan's part.
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tomorrow is another day, and will surely bring another attempt for her to make an appearance on "World's Dumbest", so it's our job, no, our requirment to see her antics through to the end... it's the least we can do, really!
oh, and... *ssmmoooocchh*... hi, PSL!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
This bish doesn't have the work ethic for DWTS.