Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 22, 2013 / Posted by:

Mikel Ruffinelli, the atomic bombshell from Los Angeles with the world’s largest hips. Somebody please put an oxygen mask on Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s face, because he’s going to fall back and pass out at the sight of an ass that even he can’t handle.

Meet Mikel Ruffinelli, a 39-year-old two ton goddess of meaty sexiness who weighs 420 pounds and has hips that measure 100 inches across. If Mikel looks familiar to you, it’s probably because when you were flying to LAX, your plane accidentally landed on her ass. Mikel’s got so much ass that she has to drive a truck instead of a car, she has to sleep on a bed that’s 7 feet wide, she has to buy two airplane seats and she can only sit on chairs that are supported by steel.

Mikel says that when she was in her 20s she had average-sized hips, but after she had her first kid, they grew to the size of a lion. Then when she had her second kid, they grew to the size of a small hippo. Then when she had her third kid, they grew even bigger to the size of four walruses spooning. And then when she had her fourth kid, her hips ballooned to the size of two obese elephants hugging.

Mikel, who works as a model on a BBW site, tells the Daily Mail that she loves that she looks like she’s smuggling all the Kardashians, CoCo and Nicki Minaj in the back of her dress and her husband of 10 years loves it too. Mikel wants to stay built like a VW Beetle and she does it by eating 3,000 calories a day. Mikel also threw skinny girls under the bus and by the bus I mean her ass.

“My husband finds my shape sexy and we have an amazing time in bed – there’s no position we can’t do! He tells me I’m beautiful every day. Men don’t fancy skinny girls, they like an hourglass figure. I hope I inspire women to think, ‘She’s happy with her body and I can be too!'”

An hourglass?! The only way Mikel would look like an hourglass if I took two tabs of acid and looked at an hourglass through a funhouse mirror. Bitch is shaped more like a wine glass if the bowl ate the stem. I mean:

Don’t you just want to grab a pillow and take a long nap on her ass? Yes, I’d have to tie my ankle to a pole, so that an emergency crew could find me if I fell in her crack. It’d be like Baby Jessica all over again. And I don’t even want to think about the things her husband goes through when she asks him to lick her no-no. They probably keep a set of Jaws of Life next to the bed just in case.

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