GQ has released the outtakes from their interview with the First Lady of the Illuminati and in those outtakes they ask her about the rumor that she strapped a House of Dereon-brand pillow baby to her stomach while a South American baby oven baked the chosen one in her womb. Beyonce said before that the rumors that she faked her pregnancy the same way she faked her singing at the Inauguration were crazy, but she didn’t take them personally. When GQ asked about Beyonce’s 250-thread count goose feather baby, she once again said that the rumor didn’t bother her, but it did bother Mama Tina Knowles and Basement Baby. And don’t screw with Mama Tina and a Hot Slut who has punched a basement moth or two.
“I felt like I kind of had to protect my mother, because when people made up the silliest rumor about me not really being pregnant She was there when I went through all of those things. And my sister. They were very, very defensive. It’s not personal to me, and it comes along with the job, but the lack of respect—people will just go too far sometimes.”
Beyonce then talked about how birthin’ out Blue Ivy Carter was an amazing experience:
“When I gave birth, that was the first time I truly let go and surrendered. And it taught me how amazing that feels… Giving birth made me realize the power of being a woman. I have so much more substance in my life. And expressing that excitement and that sensuality and the connection I have with my husband—I’m a lot more comfortable with that now. I actually feel like my child introduced me to myself.”
If you gave birth in a custom-designed birthing suite while Mama Tina fixed your birthing wig, Basement Baby hand fed you ice chips made from the amniotic fluid of pink dolphins, an ambiance designer changed the lighting to fit your breathing pattern and some out-of-work singers (aka Michelle Williams and the other forgotten children of Destiny) hummed the melody to “Halo,” you too would describe your birthing experience as “amazing.”
I once watched a woman on a stretcher in the hallway of the overcrowded delivery ward at my mom’s hospital go into labor under fluorescent lighting. I wonder if her birthing experience was “amazing“? Actually, she’d probably say it was, because she had a really good view of the vending machine in the waiting area. If she ever got hungry, she could scream at her husband, “BRING ME A ROCKY ROAD BAR NOW!!!” Did Beyonce have a vending machine in her ultra luxurious birthing suite? I bet not.