The Texas T-Rex Was Mad At His Best Bitch Lance Armstrong For Doping Up
Matthew McConaughey has gone topless jogging with Lance Armsstrongduetodoping and not once did the Texas T-Rex get suspicious when the wooden floor boards broke into pieces from the sheer force of Lance's Hulk-like stomp. So when Lance came clean about playing dirty, Matthew McConaughey was sad and mad at the bitch for never telling him the truth. The Texas T-Rex, who is gaining some chunk and no longer looks like a zombie porn Giraffe circa 1975, is promoting his new movie Mud at Sundance right now and MTV News (via Yahoo) asked him what he thinks about Lance's cheating ways. Matthew said that it gave him the sads, which should give all of us the sads, because nothing is sadder than a sad T-Rex. :( Matthew said this:
"My first reaction was I was pissed off. I was mad. I then got kind of sad for him. First off, I had a part of me that took it kind of personally, which I think a lot of people have."
Matthew then said that he doesn't take it personally:
"What I mean by this is, what was he supposed to do? Call me to the side and go, 'Hey man, I did it but don't tell anybody.' Then I would have really had a reason to be pissed off at him, going, 'You want me to walk around holding this?'Where I am now is I've put myself out of the way and I am happy for this guy, who has now chosen to reenter this new chapter of his life a truly free man. And the weight he had on his shoulders, without the boogieman under the bed, the skeleton in the closet that he's carried for 14 years. Fourteen years he lied and carried the lie with him. Oprah said the other night, 'The truth will set you free,' but she forgot one part. It's miserable in the beginning. And it's going to be miserable, but he's looking it in the eye, and he'll handle it. He'll deal. And he's ready for how hard it's going to be to deal."
T-Rex, please. I know Matthew's usually got his head stuck in his bong, but his ass had to have known that Lance injected potent Go Go Juice directly into his veins. Didn't Matthew know that something in the milk was DOPE when Lance jacked his dick right off of his body during their weekly circle jerk sessions? The Texas T-Rex is just sad, because during all his years of doping, Lance never once pulled down his panties and asked Matthew to stick it in his butt. By "it," I mean the doping needle. I think.
Here's more of Matthew looking like an old, parched earth worm at Sundance over the weekend.
• 
Do the world a favor and shut up and bleed.
This makes me a sad panda.
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:41am.
Hmmm. Maybe. So much time has gone by. Those people or media that paid him for libel are maybe outta luck by now. But I agree it'd be nice if they tried. :)
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:06am.
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I just hope those people whose earning potential he ruined can get some recompense from suing his ass.
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fuck u dan snyder.
I can believe that MMcC didn't know: why would LA have reason to tell him anything that detailed about his professional career? (It also wouldn't shock me if MMcC knew.)
But to say that the truth will set you free doesn't apply so much when you're forced to speak up, after years of denials and attacks on those who said otherwise. It's like confessing on your deathbed to a crime, when you're beyond punishment.
On the other hand, Sheryl Crow musta seen something during all that intimate time together: a needle, a vial, venipuncture marks, something.
I always thought losing or gaining weight for a movie role is stupid...not only does it not last it fucks up the metabolism...no acting role is worth that.....the first years of Survivor were stupid also..
Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 9:42pm.
Boredasfuck...
Don't you mean Rusty Shackleford?
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Only when incognito.
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
Boredasfuck...
Don't you mean Rusty Shackleford?
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
Lance is a total prick and I don't blame MM for being so upset. On that note MM should move on from shitbag Lance and not give him anymore of his energy. Liars and cheaters on Lance's level rarely don't change and are just sorry they got caught.
I know he never will, but I want Barry Bonds to come clean. He is clearly a doper, and everyone knows it, so I don't understand how he hasn't faced the music yet.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 4:38pm.
Matthew McConaughey looks like Dale from King of the Hill.
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You are right - he does! WHEN is this guy going to put his weight back on? It shouldn't take so long. He looks terrible.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
good point re: the schedule conflicts, esteem! talk to you later!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
@ Foxxy
Hey! ;-)
I'm not so sure about the bromance thingy, just logically thinking about how (just one of them, MM for this purpose) much free time he would have given his other commitments, family, location etc. I don't think any of these 'star' type people, if actually working steadily, with a family, have any real friends, like you and I would, at all.
Dunno though, could be/probably am wrong. Lol.
I saw your missive on the OP from yesterday and dropped you a reply. Thanks! Got to get to work now, but I'll chat more with ya later if you're still on. Have a great afternoon! ;-)
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 4:38pm.
Matthew McConaughey looks like Dale from King of the Hill.
http://media.onsugar.com/files/2011/04/17/4/1437/14373728/a13f2d5c27d3a8...
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lol! He does.
Matthew McConaughey looks like Dale from King of the Hill.
http://media.onsugar.com/files/2011/04/17/4/1437/14373728/a13f2d5c27d3a8...
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
@ Esteem -- first, Hi!! actually i do think they are, as someone said below, in a "bromance" lol. but, of the full of shit people involved in this i think t-rex is the least full of shit of the lot
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I should also give a big PROPS to MTV News for nailing T-rex with these questions. That's journalism. I'm also kinda interesting in the Catfishing series MTV is doing...so maybe MTV has FINALLY begun to understand it's power and influence on our culture.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
saltydog, i want a cocktail everytime I see your avi!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 2:43pm.
I agree with you Foxxy. I don't think these two were ever best buddy type friends. I think they had a few hang sessions and that was that.
I'm gonna go with the NCIS Gibbs rule, (forgot which number) about secrets and Sir Liesalot: If you want to keep a secret, only tell one person, if you must.
Sheryl knew and she most likely perjured herself to the committee when she testified.
He's such a damn asshole jerk, that he most likely 'told the truth' before her SOL was up. Asshole.
Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:46pm.
@Orangina lol, you know what I meant! Basically, if the public would stop holding these people to such high esteem, it won't be such a huge "shock" or "surprise" when they fall. They are human after all.
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I completely agree and that was my whole point when everyone was getting their tits, dicks, and pussies in a knot over this non-factor bullshit.
HE WAS DOPING? He LIED! He cost people their jobs!!! Let's be honest, no one gives a shit about nameless strangers we don't know who lost a job to that degree, unless it's us, or someone we know, because to an extreme degree Lance was demonstrating an all too common less than altruistic part of human nature and that is looking out for number one. People lose their jobs all the time due to other people lying or underhanded shit and how many people on here throw up their hands to make a huge about that, wheres your crusade for those people?
Fucking give me a break, these excuses were used to justify their own outrage by someone they didn't know, lying to them and letting them down. Maaaaaybe you should get better priorities in life, and if you have to look for people as examples on how to be, find examples in people you know and interact with personally. Stop holding these chodes and essentially strangers to you in such a high order. You do it to yourself honestly. In the words of Dane Cook( I know, I know) "We're all gonna lie, We're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits."
Also, I still call bullshit, I still think TinyArms knew. Idc what he or others say.
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
This is classic double-speak. In Texan, which I can decipher. Lance's "blood doping" shit is probably how Texas T-Rex here achieved his skeletel appearance, followed from buff appearance, in his "art" called ACTING. These weirdos -- lance and t-rex---cover for each other. Are they gay? No idea. They are entitled little pricks....but Lance Armstrong is the KING PRICK.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
He's looking good. Must be the hair cut.
I will say I really dig that haircut on him and kinda wish we could see what it looks like on his face/body circa How To Lose a Guy in 10 Dates.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 1:06pm.
Not sticking up for LA by any means, but I hardly think MM has any room to talk about another person taking illegal substances. Matt is like a walking marijuana garden.
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trick please, there is a huge difference between somebody getting high on their free time and an athlete stealing millions of dollars and ruining the careers of dozens of people and frauding a charity and denying others their rightful victories, pay days and endorsement deals.
over the years the T-Rex has seemed rather no bullshit in his personal public statements. not the shit he says to promote a movie, the shit has said in interviews about himself. i think if he knew, he would have said so in this statement and then explained why he never volunteered the information before. T-Rex does not seem to be the type of celebrity who would care if some fans left him because he chose to not voluntarily snitch on a friend. i do not recall him ever being interviewed by any authorities investigating Armstrong so he has no legal risks to saying he knew. just speculating but Crow, on the other hand, may be keeping her mouth shut because of some possible perjury concerns of her own. just because the SOL has expired on Lance's perjury does not mean it has expired on everyone's...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I was wondering what would happen with his celebrity friends. Although, to be brutal, the fact that MM (I am NOT trying to spell that) was friends with Armstrong made me wince a little. Even before the doping came out for sure, Armstrong was a notorious asshole. I'd wonder about the kind of person who could be friends with someone like that.
I think MM not only knew, but didn't think it was a big deal. (And yes, I think he's on HGH, but maybe not steroids.) It's just what you do to get an edge. I'm not sure that MM would see a difference between him using illegal drugs to gain millions from acting, and Armstrong using illegal drugs to make millions from cycling.
Matty should have a very good 2013. If he doesn't, maybe then William Morris can convince him to ski down a mountain in a thong at next year's Sundance because that really needs to be done sometime.
Ugh. Now you have given me MORE reasons to dislike this fool.
Just call him Mr. McCantfindanyexcusetoostupid.
He is seriously defending someone who not only methodically and elaborately lied for over ten years, but bullied and threatened and destroyed the lives and careers of friends, team athletes and their families. ALL for his own sole celebrity, fame and money. He wouldn't even be confessing right now if he wasn't about to lose all of the property and money he has left.
Disgusting. and stupid.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 1:23pm.
"I don't think there is a person on earth who can be so amazing naturally. I will bet there is some kind of substance use/abuse behind most people who have stood out in history"
Truly sad if true:(
I don't think the oldie atheletes did drugs--just a ton of booze.
Matty's got a little Sammy Sosa permashrink goin on. Coincidence? Hmmm
@ Mel -- "I don't think there is a person on earth who can be so amazing naturally"
Richard Simmons is on his way to your house and he's wearing his white patent leather bitch stomping high tops
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy...lmao!!
I don't see any harm in pot either, as a matter of fact, I wish it was legal so I could relax on the weekends and have something to blame my fatness on. Haha
But I get the feeling that if Matty does that so openly, he's probably done harder substances at some point. He doesn't strike me as a 'weed only' type of guy.
And I'm sure many athletes use performance enhancing drugs all the time that we don't know about. Actors/musicians/comedians use cocaine, etc. to get through a performances all the time. Probably what makes them so great!
I don't think there is a person on earth who can be so amazing naturally. I will bet there is some kind of substance use/abuse behind most people who have stood out in history.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
He looks like shit.
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End of assist
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 1:06pm.
"Matt is like a walking marijuana garden."
T-Rex, please CALL ME and i don't mean "maybe"!!
Mel, i think there's a BIG difference between sports doping to cheat, and recreational or medical use of weed
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 1:04pm.
HGH has anti-aging properties? Bonds and McGuire should have taken more then because they both look old as mummy dust these days
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
He looks like Tony Hawk! Ugh, that's no compliment. He has to stop this weight loss/gain thing. He's not young enough to bounce back & it can't be good for his heart.
Squiggles, you are dead on with your assessment.
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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
Not sticking up for LA by any means, but I hardly think MM has any room to talk about another person taking illegal substances. Matt is like a walking marijuana garden.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:53pm.
"earthwormjim"
nailed it. lmfao!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:03pm.
Ah yes and I am sure his Magic Mike physique was completely natural, organic, gluten and HGH free.
T-Rex, please.
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LOL! I'm sure there's no shortage of juice or HGH (for toning and anti-aging) in Hollywood.
@TOPANGA
sad fact but true. as F. Scott Fitzgerald once said "Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy."
Meatlocks, "forgotten his trike trysts with sir lancelieasalot - & wasn't jake gylenhall part of that menage a twat?"
LOFAO
might have believed his earthwormjim ass if he wasn't so self injected himself.
also had forgotten his trike trysts with sir lancelieasalot - & wasn't jake gylenhall part of that menage a twat?
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:37pm.
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They're only forgiving if the person continues to be a moneymaker. Dogbeater and Rapistberger were still decent players that could bring wins and Polanski and Mel could still make films that people would go see. They also (with the exception of Mel) committed their, ahem, "indiscretions" outside of their profession and that makes a difference. Lance sold a lot of his people out and that will follow him for a long time.
I remember when he was in "A time to kill," he was hawt! Growing old is a mother f#cker!
@Orangina lol, you know what I meant! Basically, if the public would stop holding these people to such high esteem, it won't be such a huge "shock" or "surprise" when they fall. They are human after all.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:17pm.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:03pm.
T-Rex, please.
Haha! I wonder if back in the day this line was used on an actual T-Rex by, let's say, a sassy stegosaurus, after aforesaid T-Rex attempted to gnaw on his spines
LMAO!
Submitted by Orangina on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:40pm.
Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:37pm.
Classic example of why people (celebrities themselves included) need to stop putting athletes and celebrities on pedestals. You never know what they are capable of behind closed doors.
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Ha, so if you're planning on becoming a serial killer, you should plan to be a pro ball player. He couldn't have murdered anybody! He's a football player!
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So says Ray Lewis.
ZING!
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by cocoebert on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:13pm.
He's sticking up for his friend. Friends are supposed to do that. *shrugs*
i think he did an excellent job handling the question his people planted with that reporter. now he will not be asked the question by anyone else. this was a prepared statement, not a top-of-my-head response to an interview question
what reason is there to think he knew about the doping? what reason would Lance have to inject in front of him or discuss the doping in front of him? many people have/had friends with whom we do/did not live who are/were addicts or adulterers or criminals of some sort and we didn't have a bit of a clue. Sheryl Crow knows a lot. this dude, nah.
and, yeah, he's supposed to support one of his closest friends through the worst time of his lie, i mean life. that is exactly what friends do. hell. high water.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I don't know why anybody is surprised about Armstrong doping. It was obvious to me a long time ago. The only thing that I wondered about was how he got away with it.
Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:37pm.
Classic example of why people (celebrities themselves included) need to stop putting athletes and celebrities on pedestals. You never know what they are capable of behind closed doors.
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Ha, so if you're planning on becoming a serial killer, you should plan to be a pro ball player. He couldn't have murdered anybody! He's a football player!
Classic example of why people (celebrities themselves included) need to stop putting athletes and celebrities on pedestals. You never know what they are capable of behind closed doors. And as far people not wanting to be associated with him anymore, that'll last for maybe a year or two. Remember,Roman Polanski still gets nominated for awards and Mel Gibson still gets invited to them. Michael Vick and Ben Rapelesberger are still playing football. Hollywood/pro sports can be very "forgiving" when its convient to them.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George