1. After four long months in Afghanistan of sleeping in a room full of sweaty, half-naked hot pieces and making the scorpions in the desert wish they could fap to the image of him in uniform, Prince Hot Ginge is finally going back home to Britain. The media can stop talking about Duchess Kate’s royal fetus and start talking about PHG’s royal jewels instead. Everybody whip your phones out, because PHG will get drunk, he will take all of his panties off and we must get a picture of his royal ginger scepter and globes this time. Don’t fuck it up.
2. The Daily Mail published a really long interview with PHG where he talks about fighting on the front lines and dropping off his laundry.
3. Because PHG is on his way home, a bunch of pictures of him in Afghanistan were released today. This picture of PHG giving a handy to an invisible dick while cleaning under his peen hood is taking me places. But the picture of PHG in yarn pigtails is a beautiful gift. Pet store owners are removing the basket of kittens from their front window and replacing it with a basket full of this picture. It’s that precious.