Jennifer Lawrence Roasts Her Fellow Oscar Nominees
On Saturday Night Live last night, Jennifer Lawrence took her "I Beat Meryl" joke to the next level by trashing every one of her Best Actress rivals from Hush Puppy to Naomi Watts. (Click here if you're outside of the US since NBC is prejudiced against non-Americans.) Jennifer, who delivers every line that comes out of her mouth like she's challenging a group of dudes to a drink-off at a sports bar, read them all like this:
Jessica Chastain: "More like Jessica ChasaintwinningnoOscaronmywatch! In Zero Dark Thirty you caught Bin Laden. So what? In Winter's Bone I caught a squirrel and then ate it. Boom, deal with that. Also, every time I see you act I learn something new."
Naomi Watts: "You were in The Impossible. You know what else is impossible? You beating me on Oscar night. Naomi Wattsherproblem? She's going to lose. Oh, and Naomi, you are amazing in everything you do."
Quvenzhané Wallis: "You think you can beat me? What you talkin' 'bout, Wallis?' Also, the Alphabet called. It wants its letters back. Quvenzhané, I saw Beasts of the Southern Wild and you are a revelation."
Emmanuelle Riva: "An 85-year-old French lady? Um yeah, I think I can take you. You know what I say to your Oscar chances, Emmanuelle Riva? Emmanuelle Arrivederci."
I flunked my first semester of High School French, but isn't Arrivederci, Italian? I think Bugs Bunny or some other bitch like that said it in his trip to Rome.
And somewhere in the world, Emmanuelle Riva is slathering Crisco on her face, Hush Puppy is pulling her hair back in a tight bun, Naomi Watts is sticking razors in her hair and Jessica Chastain is taking off her hoop earrings. They're going to jump that bitch.
• 
Submitted by toxicsparkles on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 2:04am.
These quotes are what made me love her ;)
http://www.buzzfeed.com/kmallikarjuna/the-best-jennifer-lawrence-quotes-...
*****************************************************
Omg now I love this bitch even more...
When I saw the cover picture for "Winter's Bone" I figured the movie was going to be about a girl wandering the wilderness in yet another predictable shitty B grade horror flick, and it ended up blowing me away. It was damn good, so she'll always be aces in my book. People still say aces, right? Oh well, I like her.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
These quotes are what made me love her ;)
http://www.buzzfeed.com/kmallikarjuna/the-best-jennifer-lawrence-quotes-...
Seems like it was also a veiled dig at Ann Hathaway for patronizing Sally Field during her speech.
I don't get the hype with this girl. She is not attractive and very boring.
SNL has become so predictable and boring. I remember watching it up to the mid nineties and laughing at just about everything. Now, I'm lucky to get 4 chuckles tops. And, no, I haven't turned all crabby and shit.
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 4:48pm.
Team JL. I think she's doing the best she can for a 22 yr. old with quick fame. So far she doesn'tsee to be taking it all too seriously.
I have not seen the other performance so I won't comment on the oscar nod. I am not quite ready for a 9 year old to win best actress award though.
I realize everyone says she was fantastic. IMO her back story should have no bearing. But 9.
Not sold.
-----------------------------------------------
But pushy, Tatum Oneal was only 10 when she won, just sayin'.
@ cupid, JLaw was in Xmen, First Class. She played Mystique, whose costume is basically butt nekkid with blue pasties and body paint.
**************
fuck u dan snyder.
I've seen her in 3 movies and she was great in each one.
Just saw a pic of Jason Sudiakus and he looks rail thin. Is that skinny gal of his not feeding him?
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
This was good. I think it would be hard to deliver material like that...and she did. SNL is back on its game again. That makes me happy, even though I still hate the network upon which it stands. LOL
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Okay that was cute. Clearly she didn't rehearse it much but she's adorable so I'm giving her a pass.
She delivered the monologue in a fromage, over the top way where you'd be stupid to think she meant it. And like others said, she didn't write it (although she does have a say in performing it).
Considering this is her second Oscar nomination and she's starring in The Hunger Games, she didn't just appear. This is the career LL would die for but she doesn't have the work ethic or talent. I do hope it's eating her up inside.
i get that her monologue was meant to be a joke, but it wasn't funny. at all. surely there's starving comedians in nyc who'd jump at the chance to write jokes for snl?
She's been on the 'scene' for awhile -watch her in Winters Bone-just went mainstream after The Hunger Games.
What I love about her is that she doesn't take this acting job too seriously-she seems down to earth and lives in the real world-goes out in sweats no makeup etc. and doesn't care.
She's also a talented actress with a sense of humor so everyone needs to lighten up.
I totally appreciate this girl Dog:)
Even though I haven't seen her movies she really comes across as grounded and neat (neat as in would want to hang out with not neat as in she vacuums daily)
I thought it was a funny joke.
Owlie, that is a long way. At least it is from me. Good luck with your situation and safe traveling. :)
Wow, I am surprised by how many people aren't getting that it was a JOKE. She made fun of them as a JOKE. She isn't afraid of her chances for an Oscar, she knows it isn't happening this year. It was a JOKE. A JOKE that was written for her, not by her.
And, yes, SNL is a sad, sorry show. If they knew how to replace it with something else, it would have been cancelled by now.
Team JL. I think she's doing the best she can for a 22 yr. old with quick fame. So far she doesn'tsee to be taking it all too seriously.
I have not seen the other performance so I won't comment on the oscar nod. I am not quite ready for a 9 year old to win best actress award though.
I realize everyone says she was fantastic. IMO her back story should have no bearing. But 9.
Not sold.
She sure did let Lindsay Lohan get to her. I've only seen JLaw in one movie, in which I thought her performance was OK, but I will always like her because she said this:
http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jennifer-lawrence-screw-pe...
Oh, and Tonic, every time I look at your avatar, I expect Scarlett to spit out, "Fiddlesticks!"
she kinds looks like Amanda Bynes
Love her. But I can't watch the video because I have no time. I have to pack a suitcase because there's an emergency south of the border. I'll most likely log in to the D in 3 days. It's going to be a pretty long ride all the way to the Tropic of Cancer.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Oh I like her, but I haven't seen her in those movies yet. It's kind of ballsy to do this so far into awards season, but I don't think she's burning her bridges or anything. Anyone can take a joke, and I'll take hers any day upon Hathaway's "poor me, look what I did for the sake of art" act.
----
"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
I like her, but all of this overexposure is going to put her on the express train to insufferableville.
Hey, peeps!
vsminimoose -- ITA! I don't dislike her, but I love your comment that you don't understand why people are "blowing their load" over this chick. She isn't particularly smart, beautiful or charming -- I don't get it either. And her turn on SNL last night was really abyssmal(sp?).
As far as SNL overall being shitty I agree, but look at Martin Short's turn last month. Look what happens when you put a brilliant performer on. (I happened to think of him because I'm watching him on Bill Maher now.)
=======================================================
"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
I can't help but wonder if Hollywood will hand it to Jennifer Lawrence so as to royally piss off Lohan and send her a message...
*****************************************************
"Support your local Search and Rescue team: Get lost."
Submitted by TexnDoc on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 2:45pm.
Seems to me if Jessica Chastain wins the BAFTA, she's a shoo-in. If Emmanuelle Riva wins, looks for an upset at the Oscars, too. She won a lot of the critic's awards.
--------------------------------------------
Yeeeeaaahhh but.....Naomi's put in some solid performances over a few years now, she doesn't make waves so Hoe wood might honor her.
Jessica's shot up there like a comet but I wonder if some in the establishment think she supplanted Bryce Dallas Howard and/or think it's too soon.
Ditto for Jennifer (meteoric rise/maybe too soon)even if they seem to like her a lot.
They may decide a nomination's enough for Ms. Riva or they may continue their recent love of foreign actresses.
Or they may do something they can (and will) pat themselves on the back for, giving it to Quvenzahane. She's got a great back story, gave a great performance, they might not wanna miss a chance to have their own Tatum Oneal. It could happen.
**************
fuck u dan snyder.
I didn't think she was funny. I changed the channel last night. And the promo pics of her at the commercial breaks were fucking scary.
************************************************
Don't ya think that you need somebody?
Don't ya think that you need someone?
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one, you're not the only one
LOVE her, but I don't know if I'd be making jokes about the other nominees before I actually, you know, won the award. *shrug*
I want to see SLP, but I just can't with Bradley Cooper's smug-ass face. Or his smug assface.
************************************
There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
Hehehe I like JenLawrence. Even if those other hos jump her ass for getting attention. She'd suit up and respectfully whoop all their asses, no problem!
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by squiggles on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 3:03pm.
I like her but jaysus, SNL has to be the most most show on TV. Yes, I know eeeeeveryone says it but my god. I find myself tuning in sometimes to see how the host does/see the musical performance and end up just wanting to throw my goddamned TV out the window in anger and disgust. *deep breath*
SNL has been over for decades (and even when it was good it wasn't consistently good).
Still not sure what to think of her. Never seen a movie of hers until I saw that Silver Lining Playbookwhatever shit...that was caca to me. Zzzzzzz most of the time. She can act alright, and I like her down to earth personality but, again remember she's not the one who writes the SNL skits,so it's not her fault for repeating the same sh*t hehehehe
Coma Caca!
----------------------------------
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 2:38pm.
Unfortch, Hollywood takes itself far too seriously and usually can't take a joke. See Ricky Gervais's languishing Hollywood career.
----------------------------------------------
Bingo. I don't get that about them, c'mon, it's not that serious. For example, George Clooney seems to be a funny, charming, self deprecating guy. Yet more often than not I read comments calling him smug or conceited or some such thing. You can't win either way.
I like JLaw and Chloe Moretz because they seem unfazed by the Hollywood aura, I hope they stay that way. And I wish people would quit bitchin about her Meryl joke.
Please y'all, if there's anyone who can take a joke and dish it back it's Meryl. She is a Dame, like Bette Midler is a Dame. Classy with a healthy dose of trashy.
Did anyone see how she did that woman from The Help when she beat her for the Oscar? How she kissed her cheek and kinda dismissed her? Diva with a capital D, classic.
**************
fuck u dan snyder.
I like her but jaysus, SNL has to be the most most show on TV. Yes, I know eeeeeveryone says it but my god. I find myself tuning in sometimes to see how the host does/see the musical performance and end up just wanting to throw my goddamned TV out the window in anger and disgust. *deep breath*
That was sort of funny as she wasn't really trashing any of them. That said, I'm pretty meh about her, even though I've seen Winter's Bone. Looks wise, she wears too much eye makeup (it makes her small eyes seem smaller).
I like her, but eventually she'll either become part of the collective, or her career will suffer by resisting assimilation.
Submitted by vsminimoose on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 2:34pm.
I really do not understand why everyone is blowing their load over this chick. She can act but she's nothing special at all...in acting or style or grace or whatever the fuck else.
We did some stupid ice breaker thing at a staff meeting on friday and one of the questions was 'Who would play you in the movie of your life?' one of my co-workers said Jennifer Lawrence and the entire room broke out into whistles and "Awwwwwws"
I seriously don't fucking get it.
******
I think it's because she so normal and doesn't try to act like her shit doesn't stink. It's refreshing to see a young starlet, one who is talented, that can crack jokes. I love her.
I like her'
Seems to me if Jessica Chastain wins the BAFTA, she's a shoo-in. If Emmanuelle Riva wins, looks for an upset at the Oscars, too. She won a lot of the critic's awards.
Jintess, this girl is so down-to-earth, it's amazing. She really doesn't (yet) see herself as anyone more than a young lady who has an amazing job and gets very well paid for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
She's on probation with me. She hasn't done anything to make me not like her, and I haven't seen her acting, so she's good in my book.
Unfortch, Hollywood takes itself far too seriously and usually can't take a joke. See Ricky Gervais's languishing Hollywood career.
Haha she's the "IT" girl of the moment but she seems to have a sense of humor.
I didn't see Hunger Games but I do appreciate her attitude and that she had a sense of grace to end each comment with a compliment. Well, aside from french/italian lady.
GO RAVENS! Beat Tom Brady
She's never bothered me, I don't think I've seen a movie she's been in, although I'm hopelessly behind on those. They're collecting dust much like Foxxy's exercise ones on the shelf.
She needed a better joke writer if she was going to be roast/toasting though.
I really do not understand why everyone is blowing their load over this chick. She can act but she's nothing special at all...in acting or style or grace or whatever the fuck else.
We did some stupid ice breaker thing at a staff meeting on friday and one of the questions was 'Who would play you in the movie of your life?' one of my co-workers said Jennifer Lawrence and the entire room broke out into whistles and "Awwwwwws"
I seriously don't fucking get it.
I like her.
Submitted by Orangina on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 2:24pm.
I still feel like she's an idiot and really stupid for even making that joke. She's been on the scene for like what, 2 days, and she decides to "jokingly" bash Meryl. She dumb. She dumb as hell.
-----------
But not as dumb as you evidently!
She's a hot bitch but she ain't winning the oscar this time around. She'll do a Winslet and win on her 6th or 7th nom for a film no-one saw or wanted to see.
I still feel like she's an idiot and really stupid for even making that joke. She's been on the scene for like what, 2 days, and she decides to "jokingly" bash Meryl. She dumb. She dumb as hell.
And I'm not gonna see Stupid Linings Playbook. I've learned to trust my hunch when I feel like a movie is going to be really boring and useless, and that's how I feel about that one. If I have no desire to see a movie, I'm always right. When I finally cave out of extreme boredom and see the movie, it always sucks. Example: I had no desire to see "Pitch Perfect" and thought it would be really boring a stupid. Well, I caved last night out of extreme boredom and I rented it on Amazon Direct. It was awful. So stupid.
Thus, I refuse to see Long John Silver's Playbook because I already know I'm gonna fucking hate it.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 2:19pm.
I like her because she makes Blohan and White Oprah crazy. It was a funny bit.
----
I have to agree with this, even if she watches the Kuntrashians (which I cannot forgive, but I'll overlook). Though, I hope Quvenzhané Wallis wins the Oscar.
I like her because she makes Blohan and White Oprah crazy. It was a funny bit.
She's much prettier with her hair up like at the Globes.