Taylor Swift tweeted her 23 million fans today to thank them for having her back against her non-fight with the 51-year-old meanie who said before that he barely knows who she is. Michael J. Fox said in so many words on Wednesday night that he wouldn’t want his son Sam Fox dating Taylor Swift and I guess it turned into this whole thing. But Taylor talked to MJF about it and told her fans that everything is good, so they don’t have to break curfew tonight to toilet paper his house, write “F U A-HOLE” in Vaseline on his car window and shit on his welcome mat.
What I’m guessing happened is that Taylor Swift called Michael J. Fox and let him know that if he ever talks shit about America’s sweetheart again she’ll fuck several #1 singles out of his son and he won’t even get a cut of the royalties. After Michael J. Fox said, “Remind me who Taylor Swift is again,” she screamed, “EXACTLY,” hung up and declared victory. That’ll teach everyone that the only bitch who can talk shit is Taylor Swift.
And seriously, how can Taylor’s fans really have her back when she’s always on it? I don’t mean it like that! I mean, she’s always lying on her back while making shadow puppets on the ceiling with her latest barely legal boyfriend.